No Workplace Bullies

Vermont Senate Makes Smart Move Toward Workplace Bullying Legislation

2012-01-19T10:28:00.000-08:00

By Beverly Peterson, BullyInWorkplace.com

For years advocates have been trying to pass workplace bullying legislation in Vermont. Last year, SB.52 started as yet another attempt to re-introduce the Healthy Workplace Bill (aka Abusive Work Environment Act). But, this time something happened. Instead of dying in committee, the language was completely struck and totally rewritten to ensure that lawmakers look into all possible approaches before adopting legislation that will impact both employers and employees throughout the state. (After all, isn’t that what our elected officials are supposed to do?) The Senate wants a task force created to determine the best way to provide relief and redress for state residents suffering in abusive work environments. The new version of SB.52 became very active and passed the Senate. If it makes it out of the general committee and is passed through to the Governor’s desk, the task force’s findings could create a landmark moment for those of us who would like to see bullying legislation become a reality.

"The Vermont office of attorney general’s civil rights unit reports that of the 1,200 to 1,300 requests for assistance it receives each year, a substantial number involve allegations of severe workplace bullying that cannot be addressed by current state or federal law or common law tort claims. Similarly, the Vermont human rights commission, which has jurisdiction in employment discrimination claims against the state, reports that it must refuse complaints of workplace bullying because the inappropriate behaviors are not motivated by the targeted employee’s membership in a category protected by antidiscrimination laws.

(5) Sweden enacted the first workplace bullying law in 1993, and since then several countries have taken a variety of approaches to the problem, including the creation of private legal remedies and the prohibition of workplace bullying through occupational safety and health laws."

Read the rest of this article here: http://workplaceviolencenews.com/2012/01/09/vermont-senate-makes-smart-move-toward-workplace-bullying-legislation/

5 MYTHS ABOUT WORKPLACE BULLYING: DEBUNKED

2012-01-19T10:22:00.000-08:00

Myth 1: Bullying only happens in the schoolyard

If anyone tries to tell you bullying at work doesn't exist, tell them 25 years of research says otherwise. Academics have been looking at this phenomenon since the first article published on the topic in 1984. Since then, thundreds of research articles have indicated that approximately 50% of the population is bullied at some point in their career. (Though research articles vary in their statistics... some say 30%, and one even says 90%...)

Recently the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) found that almost 25% of American businesses have some level of bullying - and they found that 11% of the bullying is committed against customers.

Myth 2: Bullying and conflict are the same thing

Conflict is about disagreement and interpersonal differences. It occurs when two people perceive that whomever they are in conflict with is in the way of getting needs met. Workplace bullying, on the other hand, is psychological abuse. You wouldn't tell a target of domestic violence to see a conflict manager, and you shouldn't tell a target of workplace bullying that either.

Myth 3: Bullies are evil psychopaths out for blood

The media loves to portray bullies this way because it makes for better news and it makes targets of bullying feel better about their situation. But most workplace bullies are unaware that their behavior makes others so uncomfortable. While there may be some bullies out there who are indeed malicious, the research does not support this notion that all bullies are purposefully evil.

Myth 4: Bullying is covered under current harassment laws

Harassment and hostile work environment laws in the U.S. only cover protected classes. That means that if the bully is an "equal opportunity bully," and does not bully because of the nine protected classes, including race, color, gender, religious beliefs, national origin, age, familial status, or disability, then the bullying is legal.

Myth 5: Bullying can be solved by implementing an anti-bullying corporate policy

We can create policies until we run out of ink, but unless they are in alignment with the organization's overall vision and leadership supports them 100%, it will be like they don't exist at all. Corporate policies are only as good as management and employee's support for them.

In order for a policy to be effective, it needs to be accompanied by training, performance management programs, and rewards systems. And, leaders have to set an example of appropriate behavior.

The Connection Between Workplace Bullying, Health and Home Life

2012-01-18T13:18:00.000-08:00

A new study measures how bullies affect families.

The study involved 280 full-time employees and their spouses. Participants were asked how often supervisors behaved badly. In particular, the survey rated responses to statements such as "Puts me down in front of others," and "Tells me I'm incompetent."

Participants also rated statements about their home lives. Examples of the statements measured included, "Our family can express feelings to each other," and "Our family is able to make decisions about how to solve problems." Spouses were asked how often they were "Irritated or resentful about things your (husband/wife/partner) did or didn't do," or "Felt tense from fighting arguing or disagreeing with your (husband/wife/partner)."

Results show that while employees with bad bosses did not report problems with their families, their spouses often did. Employees who had bad bosses experienced more blow-ups between husbands and wives and had families that failed to communicate well. Dawn Carlson, the study's lead author and a professor of management and the H.R. Gibson Chair of Organizational Development at the Hankamer School of Business at Baylor University, explains the fallout of abusive behavior at work. According to Carlson, "It spills over and affects our families . . . . It translates into tensions with your spouse. And that leads to poor family functioning." Linda Carroll, "Your boss may be ruining your marriage," www.lifeinc.today.msnbc.msn.com (Dec. 12, 2011).

Commentary and Checklist

The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) recognizes job stress as an area of growing concern in occupational safety and health. Job stress can trigger various stress-related disorders including depression, anxiety, dissatisfaction, fatigue, tension, aggression, lack of concentration and memory problems.

In addition, according to the new study described above, the stress of workplace bullying can take a toll on marriages and family life.

Employers wishing to curtail bullying must create an atmosphere where bullying is not accepted and provide a means for employees to report bullying without fear of retaliation for doing so. In the employment relationship, managers and supervisors are the persons in power and are the most likely to bully employees.

However, just because a manager is strict or demanding does not necessarily mean that he or she is a bully. High but reasonable expectations, when communicated respectfully and fairly, do not equate to bullying. Workplace bullying involves abuse or misuse of power. It creates feelings of defenselessness and injustice and undermines morale, productivity and health.

Here is what you can do as a manager to stop bullying:

Never abuse your power. If you bully your employees, you injure yourself, your employees and your employer.
Watch for bullying. Verbal mistreatment of employees in front of other employees or customers is a common form of bullying.
Look for the signs of bullying. A common sign of bullying is a higher turnover rate of employees reporting to one manager than for those reporting to other managers.
If your position at your employer permits you to do so, confront bullies under your management. Specifically address what actions you believe were an abuse of power and why.
If you are not in a position to address bullying on your own or you feel uncomfortable doing so, you should make your human resource department aware of bullying as soon as possible.

This informational piece was published on January 11, 2012.

http://www.farmerskey.com/article.htm?id=3849

Teacher's suicide stuns school, spurs colleagues to speak out

2012-01-07T13:12:00.000-08:00

This story from the Chicago Tribune highlights the importance of making complaint procedures very clear to employees. It appears, of course based solely on the news report here, that Mary Thorson was frustrated, scared, and unhappy... but the district leaders had no idea. Perhaps if Mary had a stronger understanding of what avenues to take to express her feelings and to whom she should express them, she would have felt comfortable making her feelings known.

It's easy to say, "well she should just go to her immediate boss, or the principal!" But, in a culture of fear and intimidation, the answer's not that simple. School district leaders must focus on building a culture of civility and respect, and again, providing clear instructions on who to talk to when problems arise. If a teacher fears the principal, the teacher should have a list of other people to talk to.

Let's hope this school district explores implementing an anti- workplace bullying program.

By Becky Schlikerman, Chicago Tribune reporter

On Thanksgiving, a grade-school gym teacher parked on the shoulder of Interstate 80/94 in northwest Indiana, got out of her Mercury SUV and walked in front of a moving semi truck.

The 32-year-old's suicide shocked the tiny Ford Heights school district where she worked. In the days afterward, tension grew amid conversations by co-workers about what had happened and questions from the Army veteran's parents. The turmoil peaked during a crowded meeting in December, when some teachers and school board members clashed.

The suicide note that Mary Thorson left centered on frustrations at the school, and her death spurred some of her co-workers to speak out at the public meeting.

Teachers described an atmosphere of fear and intimidation in the two-school district, where little things snowballed over time.

"We don't feel like we can speak out because we have been intimidated," teacher Rose Jimerson said at the meeting. "We have signs all over the building about anti-bullying. … Our staff gets bullied."

Co-workers and friends said in interviews that Thorson was deeply upset by her job and was worried she was on the verge of being fired. She had been suspended in April after allegedly striking a student and again a week before her death, records show. The second suspension was for allegedly cursing at a student, a co-worker said.

Even some of those close to Thorson acknowledged that it's difficult to pinpoint why anyone commits suicide, but her death opened wounds in the district. School district officials have vowed to work on healing with new channels of communication.

School board members and the administration expressed sorrow over Thorson's death but also surprise at the way some teachers described the work atmosphere.

At the meeting, board members denied the allegations and asked why no one had come forward with such concerns.

"If you guys would have come and brought allegations and we didn't address it, then you would have every right to say what you need to say," Board President Joe Sherman said.

Thorson, known as Coach T, left behind a handwritten, six-page note in her SUV. Other than one paragraph in which she apologized to her parents for the hurt her death would cause, the rest of the note was exclusively about Ford Heights School District 169.

Thorson's parents agreed to share the note with the Tribune. In it, Thorson wrote, sometimes rambling, about the plight of children in the poor school district and the lack of resources and discipline. She also wrote about the school's leadership and said teachers were not taken seriously.

"We must speak up about what's going on!" The note concludes: "This life has been unbelievable."
Thorson had started her teaching career after an eight-year stint in the Army Reserve, where she attained the rank of specialist and served honorably, said Army spokesman Mark Edwards. She joined in 1998, just out of high school, to help pay for college, said her father, John Thorson.

Thorson was the first in her family to graduate from college, getting a diploma from Western Illinois University in 2005. She worked at schools in Chicago and Bellwood before taking a job in Ford Heights at Cottage Grove Upper Grade Center in 2008.

The students "loved her," said Walter Cunningham, who taught physical education with Thorson. "She treated them like a daughter or son. They all gravitated toward her."

Like many of the teachers there, Thorson used her own money to buy students school supplies or warm clothes if she saw a need, Cunningham said. More than 98 percent of the 520 students in the district are considered low-income, according to state records.

In April, Thorson was suspended for two days after allegedly hitting a child, though Thorson said it was a playful tap, according to personnel records provided by her family.

Thorson had complained about feeling targeted by school administrators, said her father. "She was worried about keeping her job there," he said.

Her parents said they urged her to find a job closer to her hometown of Moline, Ill., or to go to graduate school, but she was attached to the children of Ford Heights. In the note, she spoke of her love for the children and her pain at their daily trials.

"They were her life," said her mother, Shari Thorson. "She did not want to leave."

A week before her death, Mary Thorson suffered what she thought was a crushing blow to her career, Cunningham said. On Nov. 17, she was suspended with pay, records show. The suspension was for allegedly cursing at a student, Cunningham said. She was to have a meeting Nov. 22 to discuss the incident, according to records, but colleagues and family said Thorson skipped it.

"She was so distraught," Cunningham said. "She was convinced they were going to fire her."
Sherman said the board had no intention of firing Thorson.

Study finds most paramedics are victims of abuse in the workplace

2012-01-01T11:24:00.000-08:00

More than two-thirds of paramedics surveyed have experienced verbal, physical or sexual abuse on the job

TORONTO, Ont., Dec. 29, 2011 –More than two-thirds of paramedics surveyed have experienced verbal, physical or sexual abuse on the job, new research has found.

Verbal abuse by patients and their friends or relatives, Emergency Medical Service (EMS) co-workers or bystanders, was the most commonly reported, followed by intimidation and physical abuse, the study found.

"EMS providers can experience violence in the workplace as they perform their jobs in unpredictable environments and near people in crisis," said Blair Bigham, the lead investigator.

"Anecdotal reports and workplace safety records have highlighted cases of verbal, physical and sexual abuse, yet until now, there has been little scientific research. More research is needed to understand the impact of this workplace violence."

Bigham is an advanced care flight paramedic for York Region EMS and Ornge, and an associate scientist at Rescu, based at S. Michael's Hospital. Rescu is part of the Resuscitations Outcomes Consortium, a large, multinational research collaboration of 10 sites across the United States and Canada, studying how promising new tools and treatments can improve survival rates among people who suffer cardiac arrest or life-threatening traumatic injury outside of hospitals.

The study, published in the January issue of Prehospital Emergency Care, found:

Verbal abuse was reported by 67.4 per cent of EMS workers surveyed, perpetrated by patients (62.9 per cent), patient family or friends (36.4 per cent), colleagues (20.8 per cent), and bystanders (5.8 per cent).
Intimidation was reported by 41.5 per cent, perpetrated by patients (37.8 per cent), patient family or friends (27 per cent), colleagues (45.3 per cent), and bystanders (3.4 per cent).
Physical abuse was reported by 26.1 per cent, perpetrated by patients (92.3 per cent), patient family or friends (11.1 per cent), colleagues (3.8 per cent), and bystanders (2.3 per cent).
Sexual harassment was reported by 13.6 per cent, perpetrated by patients (64.7 per cent), patient family or friends (18.4 per cent), colleagues (41.2 per cent), and bystanders (8.8 per cent).
Sexual assault was reported by 2.7 per cent, perpetrated by patients (88.9 per cent), patient family or friends (7.4 per cent), colleagues (14.8 per cent), and bystanders (2.7per cent).

EMS workers in Ontario and Nova Scotia were invited to participate in this study while attending a continuing education seminar in 2011 and 90 per cent responded. They were asked if they had directly been the victims of various forms of violence within the previous 12 months. Of the 1,381 paramedics surveyed, 70 per cent were male with a median age of 34 and 10 years experience in EMS.

###

About St. Michael's Hospital

St. Michael's Hospital provides compassionate care to all who enter its doors. The hospital also provides outstanding medical education to future health care professionals in more than 23 academic disciplines. Critical care and trauma, heart disease, neurosurgery, diabetes, cancer care, and care of the homeless are among the Hospital's recognized areas of expertise. Through the Keenan Research Centre and the Li Ka Shing International Healthcare Education Center, which make up the Li Ka Shing Knowledge Institute, research and education at St. Michael's Hospital are recognized and make an impact around the world. Founded in 1892, the hospital is fully affiliated with the University of Toronto.

For more information, please contact:
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Manager, Media Strategy
Phone: 416-864-6094

shepherdl@smh.ca
St. Michael's Hospital
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Physician, Heel Thyself

2011-05-11T10:18:00.000-07:00

New York Times
By Teresa Brown, Op-Ed Contributor
Published May 7, 2011

It was morning rounds in the hospital and the entire medical team stood in the patient’s room. A test result was late, and the patient, a friendly, middle-aged man, jokingly asked his doctor whom he should yell at.

Turning and pointing at the patient’s nurse, the doctor replied, “If you want to scream at anyone, scream at her.”

This vignette is not a scene from the medical drama “House,” nor did it take place 30 years ago, when nurses were considered subservient to doctors. Rather, it happened just a few months ago, at my hospital, to me.

As we walked out of the patient’s room I asked the doctor if I could quote him in an article. “Sure,” he answered. “It’s a time-honored tradition — blame the nurse whenever anything goes wrong.”

I felt stunned and insulted. But my own feelings are one thing; more important is the problem such attitudes pose to patient health. They reinforce the stereotype of nurses as little more than candy stripers, creating a hostile and even dangerous environment in a setting where close cooperation can make the difference between life and death. And while many hospitals have anti-bullying policies on the books, too few see it as a serious issue.

Today nurses are highly trained professionals, and in the best situations we form a team with the hospital’s doctors. If doctors are generals, nurses are a combination of infantry and aides-de-camp.

After all, patients are admitted to hospitals because they need round-the-clock nursing care. We administer medications, prep patients for tests, interpret medical jargon for family members and double-check treatment decisions with the patient’s primary team. Nurses are also the hospital’s front line: we sound the alert if a patient takes a serious turn for the worse.

But while most doctors clearly respect their colleagues on the nursing staff, every nurse knows at least one, if not many, who don’t.

Indeed, every nurse has a story like mine, and most of us have several. A nurse I know, attempting to clarify an order, was told, “When you have ‘M.D.’ after your name, then you can talk to me.” A doctor dismissed another’s complaint by simply saying, “I’m important.”

When a doctor thoughtlessly dresses down a nurse in front of patients or their families, it’s not just a personal affront, it’s an incredible distraction, taking our minds away from our patients, focusing them instead on how powerless we are.

That said, the most damaging bullying is not flagrant and does not fit the stereotype of a surgeon having a tantrum in the operating room. It is passive, like not answering pages or phone calls, and tends toward the subtle: condescension rather than outright abuse, and aggressive or sarcastic remarks rather than straightforward insults.

And because doctors are at the top of the food chain, the bad behavior of even a few of them can set a corrosive tone for the whole organization. Nurses in turn bully other nurses, attending physicians bully doctors-in-training, and experienced nurses sometimes bully the newest doctors.

Such an uncomfortable workplace can have a chilling effect on communication among staff. A 2004 survey by the Institute for Safe Medication Practices found that workplace bullying posed a critical problem for patient safety: rather than bring their questions about medication orders to a difficult doctor, almost half the health care personnel surveyed said they would rather keep silent. Furthermore, 7 percent of the respondents said that in the past year they had been involved in a medication error in which intimidation was at least partly responsible.

The result, not surprisingly, is a rise in avoidable medical errors, the cause of perhaps 200,000 deaths a year.

Concerned about the role of bullying in medical errors, the Joint Commission, the primary accrediting body for American health care organizations, has warned of a distressing decline in trust among hospital employees and, with it, a decline in the quality of medical outcomes.

What can be done to counter hospital bullying? For one thing, hospitals should adopt standards of professional behavior and apply them uniformly, from the housekeepers to nurses to the president of the hospital. And nurses and other employees need to know they can report incidents confidentially.

Offending parties, whether doctors or nurses, would be required to undergo civility training, and particularly intransigent doctors might even have their hospital privileges — that is, their right to admit patients — revoked.
But to be truly effective, such change can’t be simply imposed bureaucratically. It has to start at the top. Because hospitals tend to be extremely hierarchical, even well-meaning doctors tend to respond much better to suggestions and criticisms from people they consider their equals or superiors. I’ve noticed that doctors otherwise prone to bullying will tend to become models of civility when other doctors are around.

In other words, alongside uniform, well-enforced rules, doctors themselves need to set a new tone in the hospital corridors, policing their colleagues and letting new doctors know what kind of behavior is expected of them.

This shouldn’t be hard: most doctors are kind, well-intentioned professionals, and I rarely have a problem talking openly with them. But unless we can change the overall tone of the workplace, doctors like the one who insulted me in front of my patient will continue to act with impunity.

I wish I could say otherwise, but after being publicly slapped down, I will think twice before speaking up around him again. Whether that was his intention, or whether he was just being thoughtlessly callous, it’s definitely not in my patients’ best interest.

Theresa Brown, an oncology nurse, is a contributor to The Times’s Well blog and the author of “Critical Care: A New Nurse Faces Death, Life and Everything in Between.”

Bullying and Adult EMS Education Podcast

2011-01-27T15:23:00.000-08:00

Listen as I discuss workplace bullying in the context of EMS education with the hosts of EMS EdUCast, Greg Friese, Rob Theriault, and Bill Toon.

Click here.

Corporate Integrity = Organizational Performance

2011-01-22T10:26:00.000-08:00

Companies that encourage employees to speak up about misbehavior and to communicate openly average shareholder returns 5% higher than competitors who do not encourage these behaviors, according to a Corporate Executive Board (CEB) survey cited in the January issue of T+D Magazine. The survey included 500,000 employees from 150 global companies in 85 countries.

The survey also showed that high integrity cultures are 67% less likely to see major incidences of violations of law or company policy, including harassment, finance fraud, and regulatory violations. On the other hand, in companies with a culture not focused on integrity these (mis)behaviors are 10 times more prevalent.

Further, and even more interesting, the survey indicated that when managers exhibit integrity their employees actually perform better - there was a 12% difference in employee performance between employees with integrity-driven managers and those without.

According CEB, seven specific characteristics drive corporate integrity:

1. comfort in speaking up
2. trust in colleagues
3. strong relationship with direct manager
4. tone from the top
5. clarity of expectations around compliance
6. openness of communication
7. organizational justice

In other words, organizations that focus on these seven values will see better performance, less misbehavior, better internal communication, increased shareholder returns, and a better bottom line.

Simply put, when employees trust their managers and each other they are more engaged. It's no secret that engagement means performance.

Ethics Resource Center Study: Whistleblowing and Workplace Bullying

2011-01-05T13:51:00.000-08:00

Last month the Ethics Resource Center released a survey report regarding whistleblowing and retaliation (aka workplace bullying).

The survey found that 15% of employees who reported misconduct perceived that they were retaliated against. According to the report:

60% reported another employees gave them a cold shoulder
62% reported management excluded them from decisions and work activity
55% were verbally abused by a manager
48% almost lost their job
42% were verbally abused by other employees
43% were not given a promotion or raise
27% were relocated or reassigned
18% were demoted

In other words 15% of the survey respondents reported that they were bullied as a result of their actions.

The report also discusses the value organizational culture plays in an employee's decision to report. Not surprisingly, if ethics and the value of ethical behavior comes across as a strong message from the top, employees are more likely to report misconduct. In these strong ethical cultures employees felt comfortable reporting misconduct directly to their immediate supervisor because they felt confident the report would be handled immediately and with professionalism. In climates with weak ethical cultures employees felt they could not report the behavior to their immediate supervisor and often went "up the chain" to someone believed to be more reliable in handling the issue.

Retaliation against whistleblowers is certainly nothing new. If it were, Congress would not have enacted laws against it and businesses would not have corporate policies forbidding it. As with anything, circumstances can prevail and although retaliation is illegal in many instances, it doesn't prevent it from happening.

Unfortunately, as with bullying, psychological repercussions of being retaliated against are pervasive. According to an article published in Current Sociology in 2008 by Rothschild, whistleblowers say they have suffered severe depression, decline in physical health, severe financial decline, and harmed family relationships at home. Many also begin to lose trust in the people around them - distrust becomes a way of life.

The bottom line: Retaliation for whistleblowing IS bullying. As we know, bullying is difficult to prove, especially when managers and human resources professionals everywhere disagree that bullying even exists in the first place. Sigh.

Workplace bullying, stress, and fibromyalgia

2011-01-04T21:54:00.000-08:00

From: Minding the Workplace, The New Workplace Institute Blog hosted by David Yamada

Over the past few weeks I’ve had conversations, in person and online, with three women who have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and each has experienced severe bullying and heavy-duty stress at work. If you’re unfamiliar with fibromyalgia, here’s a chance to learn something about it.

Fibromyalgia is a chronic, disabling medical condition marked by widespread pain and fatigue that afflicts women far more often than men. Compared to many other serious maladies, research on fibromyalgia is an early work in progress, but we’re learning a lot about it. According to the Mayo Clinic:

Fibromyalgia is a chronic condition characterized by widespread pain in your muscles, ligaments and tendons, as well as fatigue and multiple tender points — places on your body where slight pressure causes pain.

Fibromyalgia occurs in about 2 percent of the population in the United States. Women are much more likely to develop the disorder than are men, and the risk of fibromyalgia increases with age. Fibromyalgia symptoms often begin after a physical or emotional trauma, but in many cases there appears to be no triggering event.

In other words, we’re talking about severe, ongoing pain and the power of a knockout punch.

Gender implications

The gender implications of fibromyalgia are significant. Let’s juxtapose some numbers: If the Mayo Clinic is correct in stating that fibromyalgia will occur in 2 percent of the population, and if studies such as this one suggesting that 9 in 10 sufferers are female are even close to hitting the mark, then we have a hidden epidemic among women.

Bullying connection

The Workplace Bullying Institute recognizes that fibromyalgia can be a consequence of workplace bullying (link here). Research is making the link: For example, a 2008 study led by Canadian researcher Sandy Hershcovis (news coverage, here) found that workplace bullying targets were more likely to develop fibromyalgia. A 2004 study led by Finnish researcher Mika Kivimaki (abstract, here), found that stress at work “seems to be a contributing factor in the development of fibromyalgia.”

Read the rest of this article by David Yamada at his blog by clicking here.

Case Study: Inside the mind of HR Professionals

2010-12-31T13:04:00.000-08:00

As a professional speaker who has made presentations to over hundreds of HR professionals, as well as professionals in many other areas, I assert that every single “workplace bullying workshop” attendee will fall into one of three categories:

1. The “Oh my gosh!!!! Thank you!!!” Category – These are people who have been treated with disrespect and aggression at work. They approach me at the end of my presentation, often in tears, infinitely thankful that I am advocating for them and that I have given them the information they need to move forward with their situation.

2. The “Hmmmm… I’m not so sure bullying exists” Category – These are people who may have witnessed a little disrespect at work but are unsure that bullying really happens among adults or that the resulting psychological implications I identified during the presentation are really that serious. These people may be open to persuasion with more information.

3. The “People who claim they're bullied are poor performers who are upset that they’re boss is calling them out” Category – These are the attendees who speak out during my presentations, often very aggressively in fact. They are convinced bullying doesn’t exist, and blame the target for poor performance and not having thicker skin. They also insist (incorrectly of course) that bullying is already illegal and laws against bullying would encourage unnecessary litigation.

Until now, I have been unable to really articulate these three responses for readers of my blog. But recently I participated in an online forum at Workforce Management website about the topic of workplace bullying, and because I gained so much insight into the mind of my third category HR professional when it comes to this touchy subject, I thought I’d share parts of the forum discussion with you.

If you are a target of aggressive behaviors at work thinking about talking with your HR manager, this post might help you gain some understanding about how your HR manager might respond to your complaint so that you can be prepared to counter it.

As I mentioned, people in my third category - people who don't think bullying exists - were abundant in the online forum, as evidenced by these comments:

“There seems to be a growing trend that every time someone’s boss yells at them it’s a workplace conflict that also suggests the boss is a bully. That may occasionally be true but more often than not, in over 30 years of workplace experience, I have observed it is an under producing or non-producing employee (that includes performance issues).”

"Honestly, I read a lot of posts on a different forum that is open to the public and has a lot of employees posting their situations about bosses bullying employees and 99% of them are such that I can see by their posts what the issue is -- low performance, too much time off, their attitude in the postings, etc. In my 20 year career, I can honestly tell you that I have seen 1 bully boss in any organization that I have worked with. Out of hundreds.... “

“There are those that think they are bullied because the employer expects them to be at work on time consistently. Because the employer doesn't take all the excuses for missed work and productivity. Or they take exasperation and criticism as bullying.”

And after being attacked by a few of the HR professionals in the forum for asserting that bullying is a real problem:

“Suggesting bullying is legal in the US demonstrates the focus (Catherine) has. It isn't to teach people how to manage conflict in the workplace, rather, it is to exploit conflict in the workplace for (her) own profit motive. In short, (she) channel’s (her) energy to exploit a created victim instead of teaching that individual how to improve their performance and also manage everyday natural conflict.”

“I am suspecting that the poster is feeling bullied because we are not validating her perspective. We are not jumping on the bandwagon of proving how much bullying really takes place in most workplaces.”

I sought information about what these HR professionals would do if faced with a complaint by an employee who claimed his boss was bullying him. The answers were disturbing:

“I would speak with the employee about changes that often occur when bosses change.”

“I suspect that due to the friendly relationship posed by the (original poster)… there might have been some stuff that the old boss let slide, rather than confront. Or maybe it just wasn't important to the old boss but is to the new. That's the nature of different bosses and learning the new style/way, even if you don't agree with it.”

“Honestly, I would tell this employee that they should view the position as if THEY started a new job-- but with experience. If they can't handle the new (management) style, then unless they want to try to go over their boss's head (which can often be a career limiting move because SOMEONE higher above CHOSE to put this person into the manager's position and you might never be sure who was for it), I would suggest they look elsewhere for employment.”

“If I thought it was a manager issue, I would do some extra management training, but if this were a person with education and experience, I would NOT automatically assume it was the boss's issue. But rather an issue of the employee not being able to handle the change. Change is never easy.”

Another participant then pointed out that:

“The difficult part of (this) approach… is why you are willing to make assumptions that favor the organization, but you aren't willing to make any such similar assumptions on behalf of the employee.”

To which the response from one poster was:

“I don't know many companies that choose to put inexperienced, uneducated, untrained people into management positions, but I know plenty of employees who feel like THEY should have been promoted OR that THEY know more than the new boss or that their way is the only way to do something.”

“I have seen more issues with the underlings not being able to handle the change than the manager.”

“So yes, it is my instinct to counsel the employee on how to deal with the change than to counsel the manager. Unless there is some direct evidence that it is the manager's issue.”

Clearly this HR professional would not buy it if a target of bullying were to report their manager’s behavior. The target would indeed be in the hot seat and blamed for the problem. The manager, the one exhibiting unprofessional behaviors, would be left to continue treating others with disrespect.

This group of posters, filled with my third category – people who think bullying simply doesn’t exist – was hard to persuade. Nothing I said could convince them that bullying is real. They even accused me of exploiting a fad and creating a sea of victims for my own monetary and professional benefit. But it doesn’t matter if they believe me or not; what matters if is they believe you when you report your abusive manager at work.

Ultimately, this conversation was indeed a major learning experience for me. In my years of experience I have never really gained a true understanding of why an HR professional would be so utterly resistant to the idea that bullying might actually exist in the workplace. I was enlightened by these comments:

“I was in HR when the diversity fad developed, and suddenly every fringe consultant was an expert in diversity and offering their services to help implement diversity programs. They were aggressive - if you didn't have a diversity program, then somehow your company was uncaring, insensitive, even Neanderthal in your approach to business. Diversity programs have yet to produce any measurable benefit, yet business spent huge amounts of money on it.“

“So it goes with HR fads - it seems like HR is plagued with them every 5 years or so. Some get a lot of publicity, like diversity, others don't. All fade into oblivion, some mercifully sooner rather than later.”

“HR has seen a bunch of fads. I would agree bullying is but one more.”

In addition, one poster pointed out that aggressive behaviors at work have potential liability for an employer – damages that should certainly be taken into consideration. As someone who has also made that argument, and attempted to quantify the damage a workplace bully might cause, the response was of great interest to me:

“OMG, HR professionals have been fighting this image for years. It is called the Chicken Little complex.

Legal fees are a cost of doing business for corporations. Frivolous lawsuits are a source of potential income for plaintiffs attorneys; "If they settle, even for nuisance value, I get something." The problem isn't managers. The problem is unscrupulous attorneys, consultants who embellish reality and a sub-culture that says if I sue I win regardless.

In 30+ years I have never lost a lawsuit. I've settled several for "nuisance value."

To sum all this up, HR professionals have seen an array of fads come and go. According to the participants in this forum, given the number of fads in their many years of experience, bullying just seems like one more. For this reason, it might be hard for them to take your complaint seriously.

These individuals were also not intimidated by the numbers. They weren’t buying that a lawsuit is a real threat when a report of bullying goes unaddressed. To them, a lawsuit is just the cost of doing business, and because one poster in particular had never lost a lawsuit against an employee, she was ready to go toe to toe. Lawsuits didn’t even make a dent in her perspective.

So what’s the lesson here? It is up to you, the target, the reporter of aggressive behaviors at work, to prove your case in a major way. As stated by one poster:

“Unfortunately HR and management usually do NOT have the ability to go "personal" with employees. To dig deep into the reasons and feelings and emotions. To smooth over hurt feelings. To babysit one who is feeling persecuted. At some point, it DOES need to get back to the business of running the company and working towards that goal and needs to be less about feelings and more about realistic expectations and being productive and putting personal feelings/perspectives aside."

The most important things you can do for yourself, before you file a complaint with your manager or HR manager, is to:

1. Document everything, and be sure to stick to the facts. Avoid documenting your emotions. Do not document how you felt, document the bad behavior. Focus on the bully, not on you. You are your performance already going to be under the spotlight, so don’t make your grievance about you – make it about the bully’s unprofessional behavior. HR is not in the business of making you feel good, they are in the business of helping the organization run. I hate to say it, but your feelings are irrelevant to them. The bullying manager’s unprofessional behavior is relevant to them if you can prove it’s hurting performance.

2. If possible, gather evidence from co-workers and other managers about your performance. Based on my conversation with the HR professionals in the forum, your performance is going to be called into question. If you can find a way to prove you are a top-performer, whether by emails or memos from others you work with or a stack of performance evaluations from previous managers, I think you will find that evidence useful during your conversation.

3. Attempt to resolve the issue yourself first. In any situation, when you have a problem, issue, or question it is important that you approach your manager with your problem, issue, or question with some idea of a solution. No manager wants to hear, “I have a problem, can you tell me what to do?” There isn’t a manager on the planet that wouldn’t prefer, “I have a problem. I have tried A and B and they haven’t worked. I was thinking about doing C and D but was hoping for your input.” This shows that you are solution oriented and able to think things all the way through on your own – and those are qualities of a top notch, high performing employee.

4. Be prepared for the conversation. Know what you want to accomplish as a result of your complaint. What is it that you want the HR manager to do for you? What exactly are you going to say? What solutions can you offer? Never go into your HR manager’s office to complain – go in there to complain and provide options.

If you’re interested, you can read the entire conversation on Workforce Week.

eBossWatch releases its 2010 America's Worst Bosses List

2010-12-30T14:14:00.000-08:00

eBossWatch, the leading career resource that enables people to anonymously rate their bosses, published the second annual list of America’s Worst Bosses. The 2010 worst bosses include a judge, two famous actors, several doctors, a police chief, a university dean, and a US Congressman.

eBossWatch assembled a panel of workplace experts who selected and ranked the worst bosses from across the country. The eBossWatch panel of workplace experts includes:

■Linnda Durre, Ph.D., psychotherapist, business consultant, corporate trainer, national speaker, columnist, and author of Surviving the Toxic Workplace

■Kevin Kennemer, board member of the Oklahoma Business Ethics Consortium and founder of The People Group

■Catherine Mattice, trainer, consultant, workplace bullying subject matter expert and founder of Civility Partners

■Erica Pinsky, workplace consultant and author of Road to Respect: Path to Profit

■Marilyn Veincentotzs, organizational consultant, speaker, advocate, and author of How Organizations Empower Bully Bosses

Here are a few of the managers who made the 2010 list of America’s Worst Bosses:

■Leigh Voltmer, True North Domestic Violence Shelter

■The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission filed a lawsuit against True North, accusing its then-Executive Director Leigh Voltmer of sexually harassing a number of employees and then retaliating against two female co-directors who complained to the president on behalf of the employees. True North provides shelter for women who have been victims of domestic violence.

■Skip Sand, Michaels Stores

■A jury ordered Michaels Stores Inc. to pay a former employee $8.1 million for being harassed and fired by Skip Sand while she was undergoing chemotherapy after having been diagnosed with breast cancer. The jury found that Michaels violated the employee’s rights under the Family Medical Leave Act, the Florida Civil Rights Act and the Americans with Disabilities Act.

■Justin Murdock, Castle & Cooke

■Billionaire Dole heir Justin Murdock is being sued for sexual harassment by a former employee at the Dole Food Co. subsidiary, Castle & Cooke. The employee claims that Murdock subjected her to continuous derogatory and vulgar comments about women and that his “harassment was coupled with death threats and threats of termination.”

■Don Gough, Mayor, City of Lynwood

■Lynwood Mayor Don Gough was accused of subjecting five female top-level City Hall employees to an “intolerable” work environment. An internal investigation was launched after Gough’s former executive assistant complained about a hostile work environment where she was berated and belittled by Gough.

■Craig Littlejohn, Department of the Interior

■A judge ruled against the Department of the Interior in an employment discrimination lawsuit and found that Craig Littlejohn called African American subordinates “monkeys” and discriminated against black employees.

Asher Adelman, founder of eBossWatch, said, “It is shocking to think that people have had to endure such extreme cases of workplace bullying in order to bring home a paycheck. Hopefully, the America’s Worst Bosses list will help demonstrate the importance for managers to cultivate a positive, healthy, and productive work environment for their employees.”

The entire 2010 list of America’s Worst Bosses is located at http://www.ebosswatch.com/.

Nevada State Education Association Pamphlet on Bullying

2010-12-30T13:28:00.000-08:00

Effective July 1, 2010, the education system in Nevada is putting up a fight against bullying and cyber-bullying by any administrator, teacher or staff member. The terms bullying and cyber-bullying were only recently added to Nevada Statute NRS 388.135, which previously only referenced harassment and intimidation.

According to the resulting pamphlet put out by the Nevada State Education Association:

"We are all familiar with accounts of bullying involving students. There are tragic stories of students being bullied to the point of taking their own lives. But bullying can and does happen among adults, and it can have a devastating effect on employee morale, work productivity, and even the health and well being of employees."

Below is an additional excerpt from the pamphlet, and you can download the whole thing by clicking here.

What is workplace bullying?

There is no single definition of bullying. NRS 388.122 defines “bullying” to mean:

A willful act or course of conduct on the part of one or more pupils which is not authorized by law and which exposes a pupil repeatedly and over time to one or more negative actions which is highly offensive to a reasonable person and is intended to cause and actually causes the pupil to suffer harm or serious emotional distress.

“Cyber-Bullying” is defined as “bullying through the use of electronic communication.” NRS 388.123.

Researchers studying the phenomenon of workplace bullying cite certain common characteristics.

Catherine Mattice and Karen Garman define it as “systematic aggressive communication, manipulation of work, and acts aimed at humiliating or degrading one or more individuals that create an unhealthy and unprofessional power imbalance between bully and target...” Gary and Ruth Namie define workplace bullying as “repeated, health-harming mistreatment, verbal abuse, or conduct which is threatening, humiliating, intimidating, or sabotage that interferes with work or some combination of the three.”

Five Tips for Ringing In a Civil 2011

2010-12-30T09:55:00.000-08:00

This year my newsletters have addressed corporate policies, training programs, culture changes, and many other conventional ways you can address bullying behavior at work. As you know, however, if the decision makers in your organization are not on board with building a positive workplace, then policies and training programs will be difficult to implement.

So here are five things you can do to help keep things civil around the office without asking your boss for an entire corporate culture makeover.

1. Be the change you want to see. I know; it's cliché. But fact is we don't pay much attention to our own communication most of the time, and of course it's easy to point fingers and argue that others aren't being very nice. Awareness is half of the battle - once you start being more cognizant of your behavior and communication it becomes easier to change it. We call this self-monitoring. If you are a high self-monitor, then you probably pay close attention to your communication and adjust it as needed for the situation. If you are a low self-monitor then you probably don’t pay much attention to your communication, and you likely are treating others disrespectfully without even realizing it. Make it a goal to become a high self-monitor.

2. Stand up for others. One of the reasons I became so interested in bullying and incivility at work was the fact that they are a social phenomenon - it's never about just the bully. Bullying and other uncivilized behaviors happen at work because other people allow them to (yes that means you). If you witness someone getting berated consistently during staff meetings, for example, the chances of you or anyone else standing up for them is slim to none. Researchers call this the bystander effect, and the reason it exists is that others are afraid of being targeted next.

Forget all that. When you see a person being mistreated at work, stand up for them. Plain and simple. Something like, "Hey John the meeting will be more productive if we all try to stay calm here. I know this is a stressful project but we need to work together" should suffice. The more often you do that, the more often others will too. You and all of your peers are stronger, collectively, than one bullying person. You have much more power to end the bullying as a group, and if you band together, you will be successful in doing so.

3. Dish out two compliments a day. In today’s economy and the resulting stress it’s easy to get frustrated with others when you feel like they aren’t performing or when they make mistakes. But, that’s not helping build a more civil work environment. Of course it is important to correct mistakes or make process improvements – but it’s also important to tell people when they do things right – even the little things. And you don’t have to be anyone’s boss to pass out praise.

If you happen to be walking through the reception area and overhear the receptionist handling a call with a positive attitude, then compliment him or her on it. If you see a co-worker wiping down the counters in the break room, then say thank you. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but it could make a huge difference in that person’s day, and they just might turn around and compliment someone else… even a customer!

4. Rally for your community. Volunteering provides a multitude of psychological and physical benefits. It brings a heightened sense of well-being, relief from insomnia, a stronger immune system… and it helps build confidence and self-esteem as a result of the appreciation we feel from those people we help. Take Cami Walker for example. At 35 she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and only after focusing on giving to the people around her did the pain she was feeling start to ease. Since then she’s written a book and started a movement of giving. Her website is http://www.29gifts.org/.

In addition to the personal benefits you will feel for giving your time to help others, certainly when your department volunteers to help the community together, the benefits of team building are eminent. So check out Charity Navigator and Volunteers of America to find a volunteering opportunity right for you and your team. Invite everyone to participate (even the uncivil ones). You’ll definitely notice a positive change in the way you interact with each other at work as a result of everyone feeling better about themselves and about each other.

5. Play the Best-Self Game. Kim Cameron, author of Positive Leadership: Strategies for Extraordinary Performance, suggests this activity to get the positive communication flowing and the self-esteem growing. During your next meeting, ask everyone to write down two nice things about their co-workers on separate sheets of scratch paper. At the end of the meeting, each person walks away with a list of traits others appreciate in them, an understanding of their own strengths, and a set of thank you’s for those times they stepped up and went the extra mile.

Bullying by the boss is common but hard to fix, by Laura Petrecca, USA Today

2010-12-28T09:23:00.000-08:00

The Hooters restaurant chain likes to play up its "delightfully tacky, yet unrefined" slogan. But what more than 15 million TV viewers saw on Feb. 14 went beyond unrefined.

A Hooters franchise manager insisted that servers clasp their hands behind their backs and gobble up a serving of cooked beans face-first. Whoever cleaned her plate the quickest would get to leave early.

That scene was shown on the CBS reality show Undercover Boss. Later in the episode, Coby Brooks — the Hooters CEO who went undercover to evaluate workers — reprimands the manager for being inappropriate.

"There are lines that you don't cross," Brooks said.

Yet, many bosses don't follow that stance. In offices nationwide, managers belittle, isolate, intimidate and sabotage employees.

One in three adults has experienced workplace bullying, according to surveys conducted earlier this year by research firm Zogby International for the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI). Nearly three-fourths of bullying is from the top down, according to a 2007 study.

Some tyrannical managers scream and send out scathing e-mails. But often, an oppressor uses a more subtle — and easily covered — collection of behaviors. These actions could include purposely leaving a worker out of communications so they can't do their job well, mocking someone during meetings and spreading malicious gossip about their target, says Catherine Mattice, a workplace consultant who specializes in this issue.

The acts may seem trivial, but as they build up over time, the ramifications can be monumental.

Bullied workers often feel anxious and depressed, can't sleep and are at increased risk for ailments such as hypertension. Some employees feel so overwhelmed, they just can't see a way out. "Sometimes, unfortunately, suicide is the result," Mattice says.

Tough to diagnose

On an academic level, workplace bullying has become a popular research topic, says Stanford Engineering School management professor and Good Boss, Bad Boss author Robert Sutton. But on a broader scale, there is still much to be learned about this topic.

"Workplace bullying is kind of this new concept; it's like sexual harassment before Anita Hill," Mattice says. "One of the biggest problems is that it is under the radar."

A big issue is that bullying is difficult to define. Is a demanding boss a bully or a perfectionist? Is a manager who says inappropriate things malicious or just tactless? "That's one of the difficult things to grapple with," says Joseph O'Keefe, a senior counsel at law firm Proskauer. "When does it rise above just being a mean boss and reach the level of bullying?"

As a general guideline, bullying occurs when a manager has an ongoing pattern of intimidating or demeaning behavior that can affect an employee's health.

"We've all had bosses who are rough around the edges, and sometimes you just have to deal with it," says Tom Davenport, a senior consultant at human resources consultancy Towers Watson. "But it's one thing to have an assertive boss, and it's another to have one that makes you feel sick — psychologically, physically and emotionally sick."

Since bullying is such an amorphous act, department managers and human resource executives often have to examine claims of it on an individual basis. Officials at the University of Virginia had to undertake this task earlier this year.

On July 30, Kevin Morrissey, managing editor at the University of Virginia literary magazine Virginia Quarterly Review, shot himself. Morrissey's sister, Maria Morrissey, says that after his death, she learned that her brother was treated harshly by VQR editor Ted Genoways.

Genoways' attorney, Lloyd Snook, says the editor was not a bully to Morrissey or anyone else in the office.

Following Morrissey's death, the university commissioned an audit of the magazine's finances and management practices. The Oct. 20 report says that while Genoways' ability to supervise his staff in accordance with university policies "is questionable," complaints against him didn't raise any red flags.

"There were reports through the years of the editor not being courteous or respectful with some contributors and colleagues, as well as problems with certain employees, but none ever seemed to rise to the level of a serious, ongoing concern," the report said.

In a formal response to the audit, Snook said that Genoways "has never been told of any specific complaint that any of his staff has had. There was never any personnel action taken against Ted."

Even with the release of the internal report, there are still many questions swirling — and not many publically known answers — about the situation at VQR.

Failing to take action

Yet, even when there are obvious concerns about a boss poisoning an office environment, often little is done. Reasons this is tough to diagnose and cure:

•Victims keep quiet. Many workers are embarrassed at being bullied, so they don't report the persecution to human resources. In addition, many targets are afraid that if they complain, there will be retribution.

•Intervention can take time. Morrissey and other staffers complained to UVA officials about workplace strife. Mediation was to take place, says UVA spokeswoman Carol Woods, but Kevin's sister, Maria, says the school didn't have a thorough or timely response. The UVA audit says its personnel satisfied "institutional policies and procedures." While there were notices of problems at VQR, the report says there were "no specific allegations of bullying or harassment prior to July 30th."

•Discipline can be subjective. Even though Undercover Boss is an entertainment-focused reality show, blogs were filled with intense criticism for Hooters CEO Brooks after he didn't fire the manager who made the waitresses eat without their hands.

That manager resigned earlier this year "to pursue other interests," says Hooters spokeswoman Alexis Aleshire. She said the company couldn't comment further on that specific situation, but e-mailed this statement: "Hooters has a longstanding and highly effective policy protecting employees from all harassment. Hooters of America and (the) Texas Wings (franchise) are confident the incident portrayed on Undercover Boss is in no way representative of conduct within the Hooters system."

•Legal recourse isn't clear-cut. Existing federal laws focus on the harassment/discrimination of those in a protected class, such as race, religion, national origin, age or disability. Since 2003, 18 states have proposed a "healthy workplace bill" that holds an employer accountable for an abusive environment, but none has become law.

•Witnesses are scared to come forward. About one in seven workers said they've seen workplace bullying but haven't been a target themselves, the WBI says. But many observers keep quiet. "A lot of time, bystanders see bullying, but they won't stand up," Mattice says. "They don't want to attract attention."

•Savvy bosses work the system. Manipulative managers often know how to play the game so they're not caught. "They kiss up and kick down," Sutton says.

Who gets picked on by whom

Workplace bullying can take many forms. While it's often a boss targeting employees, workers have picked on peers — and even their supervisors.

Slightly more than 60% of bullies are men, and 58% of targets are women, according to WBI. When a woman is the aggressor, she often picks on her own gender: Women target other women in 80% of cases. Men are more apt to target men.

Bullying can take place in any work environment, but Mattice says it tends to be more prevalent in hierarchical industries such as manufacturing, health care and education.
Crummy bosses are frequently more tolerated in organizations that focus on reaching sales goals, Davenport says.

"In a results-driven environment, managers may say 'Tom really is a jerk, but he certainly produces the numbers,' " he says.

Further complicating things: Most bullies don't realize — or at least, admit — that they're the bad guy. Fewer than 1% of people say they bully others at work, according to the WBI.

"We, as human beings, have self-awareness issues," Sutton says.

While maniacal managers may not realize how their behavior affects other employees, one place where they could see the difference is in the bottom line. Bullied employees will often take more sick days, steal supplies and use work hours to look for other jobs.

"They'll take longer breaks, and they'll be less likely to help others," Sutton says.

Beaten-down employees also don't perform as well on duties that take mental wherewithal. Research subjects have been less creative in simple puzzle-solving tasks after someone has been nasty to them, Sutton says.

But even as studies show that abusive managers can harm profits, bullying continues to rise at some firms.
One issue: Productivity-producing carrots, such as raises and bonuses, have been taken away as companies cut costs. Many mangers have turned to using sticks.

"With the economy the way it is, (supervisors) are more stressed out, and they are more likely to become more aggressive at work," Mattice says.

Those on the receiving end have their own issues due to the economic maelstrom.

"Anyone who is being bullied feels trapped, because where are they going to go?" she says. "They feel stuck there until the economy gets better."

Read the article on USA Today here: http://www.usatoday.com/money/workplace/2010-12-28-bullyboss28_CV_N.htm

Survival strategies for workers with bosses who are bullies, by Laura Petrecca, USA Today

2010-12-28T09:15:00.000-08:00

Bosses often get a bad rap — mainly because they are just that: the boss.

These are the folks who scrutinize vacation day requests, ask for client reports to be revised and tell employees the company decided against 2010 raises. So naturally they will be closely scrutinized — and criticized — by workers, simply because they have such a large impact on their life.

"Bosses pack a wallop, especially on their direct reports," says Robert Sutton, author of Good Boss, Bad Boss.

However, there are many supportive, compassionate managers out there, Sutton says. "Most of us think our bosses are OK."

But for the folks toiling under a lousy manager, the daily stress can be severe. Some ways to deal with a bad boss:

•Have a heart-to-heart. "Perhaps your boss is one of those people who aren't aware of how they come across," Sutton says. It could be worth it to have a "gentle confrontation" with the manager in hopes of evoking a behavior change.

•Get help. "It's like a bully on the playground," says Tom Davenport, co-author of Manager Redefined. "At some point you have to go tell the teacher."

Employees should keep a detailed diary of a boss' bad behaviors and then bring up those specific instances when lodging a complaint.

"Don't talk about the way you feel. Don't say 'I'm hurt,' " says workplace consultant Catherine Mattice. Instead give very specific examples of how the boss crossed the line.

•Zone out. With some effort — be it meditation, therapy or another method — some folks are able to leave their work troubles at the office. "Learn the fine art of emotional detachment," Sutton says. "Try not to let it touch your soul."

•Update the résumé. "Start planning your escape," Sutton says. Sure, the economy may not be the best for job seekers, but those who put feelers out now will have a head start when the hiring freeze thaws.

Read the article on USA Today here: http://www.usatoday.com/money/workplace/2010-12-28-bullyboss28_ST_N.htm

MSNBC.com Is your boss a bully, or just a tough cookie?

2010-12-13T14:32:00.000-08:00

Careers on MSNBC.com
By By Eve Tahmincioglu, MSNBC.com contibutor

Victoria Ring had a bully boss when she was working as a paralegal at a bankruptcy law firm in Ohio early in her career.

“I would be interviewing one of our clients who was in debt and he would stand outside to door listening to us,” she recalled. “As soon as I opened the door he would shout, “Why did you go and screw everything up?’ right in front of the client. I would feel like the lowest level person in the world.”
Despite the abuse, the tyrannical manager turned out to be one of the best bosses she’s ever had.

“He was extremely brilliant and knew every loophole in the law,” she explained. And he helped foster her passion for bankruptcy law, taught her to hone her craft and even helped her get a job in an Ohio bankruptcy court because people in the legal community knew if she could work for that boss she could work for anyone.

Ring, who launched her own business (Colorado Bankruptcy Training) this year in Colorado Springs, only lasted about nine months with the bully boss, leaving after he had a fist fight in the office with his brother who was also a partner at the law firm. But looking back, she said, the manager was pivotal in her career trajectory.

With all the negative press bullies are getting lately, it’s hard to believe that anyone can actually benefit from having to deal with one as their boss. But sometimes it’s the hardest-to-deal-with managers who turn out to teach you the most, and they may actually help you climb the ladder of success.
The question is, how do you know if your tough boss actually has some redeeming qualities and isn’t just a bully?

“The line between tough boss and bully boss is not clear for most people — bosses and employees alike,” said Judith Glaser author of “The DNA Of Leadership.” Making the distinction, she added, is even harder when times are tough and the pressure is on to perform.

“When people are interviewed about the boss who impacted them most,” she continued, “it was generally someone who was both candid and caring, someone who pushed them to succeed or achieve. So understanding where the line is between bully and effective leadership is vital.”

While most of us want to be treated fairly and with respect at all times, many of us see the benefits of having tough guy or gal as a boss.

In a study by Adecco Staffing U.S., employees were asked whom they deemed the best boss among a host of famous people. While touchy feely Oprah and soft-spoken President Obama topped the list, No. 3 was Donald Trump of “you’re fired” Apprentice fame. But Martha Stewart, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sarah Palin — all three tough cookies — weren’t far behind.

“Power and success are very attractive qualities,” said Tracy Whitaker, director of the Center for Workforce Studies & Social Work Practice, National Association of Social Workers, who has researched workplace bullying. “People see Donald Trump and they see success, but people have to understand that tough and demanding is different than unreasonable and arbitrary.”

Employees want to be mentored by the best and challenged and pushed to excel, she continued, but you don’t want to be confused, disrespected and humiliated at work.

While she acknowledges that some workers can take some abuse and find the good in a dysfunctional worker-manager relationship, others may see their self esteem and confidence suffer as a result. Feeling those things, she added, isn’t worth it for yourself or your career in the end, even if the boss was an expert at her or his profession.

But you may benefit from getting a bit of a tougher skin.

Catherine Mattice, president of Civility Partners, a consulting firm that specializes in eliminating workplace bullying, said employees can learn from a bully boss, but not if they allow themselves to feel persecuted.

“Unfortunately many people will take on a victim mentality and find themselves feeling that they have no options,” she said. “They will not learn from the experience. Those that choose to take the situation on as a challenge will find they are capable of overcoming, and will learn to become more assertive, more positive, and more able to take on the world.”

The key is figuring out whether your boss is just tough, or just a useless big meanie.

Read the rest of the article here.

How to deal with workplace bullies

2010-09-16T12:16:00.000-07:00

EG Sebastian, author of Communication Skills Magic, interviews me on the topic of workplace bullying. We discuss why people bully, and how to deal with bullying effectively.

Listen to internet radio with BusinessXSuccess on Blog Talk Radio

How do you know if you are a workplace bully?

2010-09-16T12:08:00.000-07:00

EG Sebastian, author of Communication Skills Magic, interviews me on the topic of workplace bullying. We discuss how you know if you are a workplace bully, what you can do about it, and how to address bullying in your workplace.

Listen to internet radio with BusinessXSuccess on Blog Talk Radio

What we can learn from the suicide at Virginia University: Eight tools you need to fight your workplace bully

2010-09-08T16:21:00.000-07:00

The tragic suicide at Virginia University’s esteemed literary journal, Virginia Quarterly Review, has sparked attention in the topic of workplace bullying. Though researchers from around the world have focused on the concept of bullying for the last 25 years, only now is the subject receiving the attention it deserves from the media.

Kevin Morrissey, the man who shot himself just two hours after receiving yet another scathing email from his boss, was not alone in feeling distraught because of his work situation. Though he was diagnosed with depression, detrimental psychological effects are common in all targets of bullying. In fact, up to 77% of individuals who are bullied develop PTSD (Matthiesen & Einarsen, 2004) – the same psychological damage that plagues soldiers returning from war.

Researchers have also found that almost 7% of targets do attempt suicide, and an additional 10% of them contemplate suicide frequently (Brousse, Fontana, Ouchchane, Boisson, et al., 2008; Yildirim & Yildirim, 2007). With 70% of the workforce claiming to be bullied at some point in their life, that’s 21 million people in the United States alone who contemplate suicide each year because of things happening at work.

Not convinced? Check out documentarian Beverly Peterson’s website at http://nojobisworththis.com. She has a whole host of short documentaries about people who have suffered from bullying, and who have in fact committed suicide because they were bullied at work.

I offer these eight tips to battle the bully at work:

1. Label it. Many targets wander through their situation without really understanding what’s happening to them or why they are being treated so badly. Most of us believe that bullying only happens at school age, so when it happens in adulthood it doesn’t seem real. Calling a spade a spade, or labeling the situation, is invaluable in understanding the true reality of the situation.

2. Make the choice to not be a victim. Research indicates that survivors of bullying have a trait that “non-survivors” have: they made the choice to not be victimized, they decided they would overcome, and they took control. You can change your attitude but you can’t change the bully.

3. Be assertive with your body language and your words. When we are bullied or threatened, we tend to shrink down with our bodies by folding our arms in and looking away. This type of response gives the bully the green light to keep bullying. So you must be assertive to protect yourself. That means making steady eye contact, keeping feet firmly planted on the ground, toes pointing forward, hands on hips or down at your sides, leaning forward slightly, and maintaining a steady tome of voice when you speak.

To be assertive with your words means using the following pattern when being verbally attacked by the bully: validate what the bully says and demonstrate that you understand his or her point of view, state that you are dissatisfied with the communication style, and then offer a solution to the problem. Now you can go to HR and claim that you did attempt to solve your differences – something they will respond well to.

4. Enlist support from people who are not co-workers. You will need a support system to get through this; you cannot do this on your own. Remember, many of us assume bullying only happens when we’re children, so it might be helpful to locate some websites and literature on bullying to help your supporters understand that what you are going through is real, and it is really hurtful to you. And, avoid trying to get people on your side at work.

5. Keep a factual journal. It is important that you keep a factual journal that you log each time a bullying incident takes place. Document the date and time, where you were, what was said, what the scenario was, and who saw it happen. Also save any tangible documents you receive from the bully, including any memos, emails, evaluations, and the like. It is important that your journal remain about the facts, and not be focused on your emotions, because you will present this journal to HR (see Tip #7). Of course it can also be healthy to keep a journal about your emotions, but this isn't appropriate to provide to HR.

6. See a doctor. A doctor can help you make your case when speaking to human resources. Describe to your doctor what has been happening and how you feel. Bring in some of the literature on workplace bullying if you need to. The doctor will provide you with a note that proves you are stressed out because of your situation at work. This will come in handy later.

7. Talk to human resources. Understand that bullying at work is a relatively new concept and has only very recently become something that is on the HR radar. That means that they will not necessarily understand if you say, “I am being bullied.” They don’t know what that really even means, and they don’t have a law or a policy to tell them how to handle it (yes, bullying is legal). That means you need to approach HR in a very specific way, and while difficult, these steps will be beneficial:

- Avoid showing your emotions, and stay away from “I feel” statements. You want HR to see the bully as the problem, not you. If you focus on how you feel, then it becomes about you. If you focus on the bully’s behaviors, then it becomes about the bully’s misbehavior and unprofessional conduct.

- Stick to the facts. Present your factual journal and list of witnesses along with any other tangible documents you’ve obtained.

- Provide a solution. All managers appreciate it when their employees approach them with a problem that is backed by a solution. As hard as it will be, put your emotions aside and really think through what you need to make the situation better for you – and present those solutions to HR. Solutions might include a transfer to a new department, communication skills coaching for your team, or a request for an outside consultant to help.

8. Reframe the way you see your job. Society has taught us that we are chained to our jobs and leaving is not an option. In addition, a lot of our identity is tied up in our work because we spend so much time there – it really becomes who we are as a person. But at some point, if you have exhausted all of your options and things are not getting better, then ask yourself what your dignity is worth. Certainly your 9-5 is not worth your health, or your life. Don’t be afraid to find a new job before the situation gets any worse.

HR Managers: How do you know when a person is being bullied at work?

2010-08-28T15:40:00.000-07:00

This question is one that comes up frequently in LinkedIn discussions, blog postings, magazine articles, news casts, and during my presentations to HR professionals. "If an employee talks to me about being bullied, how do I know that what he or she is describing is indeed bullying?"

The answer: If the employee indicates he is being abused or bullied, then he is being abused or bullied.

"But how do I really know that this person is being bullied?" Answer: LISTEN TO THEM, AND LISTEN GOOD.

Attempting to identify bullying specifically is daunting because it is less cut and dry than something like sexual harassment. Ask me on a date in exchange for a promotion, we know that's sexual harassment. Slyly leave me out of emails I need to do my job well, roll your eyes when I talk, and write in my employee evaluation that my performance has dropped, well... is that bullying? Those behaviors don't sound so bad, right?

Identifying bullying is easy when you listen to your employees' narratives - because bullying is about perception. In fact, you might have two employees being treated exactly the same, and while one is a little annoyed, the other feels bullied, depressed, anxious, and miserable. I guarantee that this person tells other people in the organization about the way they feel - and those people will often agree that they've witnessed this abuse, and begin to spend time consoling the target. Now they have stories to tell about bullying too. Now bullying is becoming part of your organizational culture. Now bullying is becoming a way of life at your organization. This is not good.

One could argue that perception, and the narratives that drive it, aren't good enough to prove bullying is really happening. My response to that hoo-ha: Get out of your comfort zone and act on the complaint anyway. The problem is that we are in a very uncertainty-rejecting culture; we have very specific laws, policies, instructions, procedures and documents in our organizations, and we rely on them to tell us what to do. So we are uncomfortable when presented with a situation that doesn't have a roadmap already outlined. Just because there isn't a law or a policy in place to tell you what to do, doesn't mean that person is not bullied, and it doesn't mean you should not act on the complaint.

As an HR professional, it is your responsibility to ensure that employees are able to collaborate, work positively with one another, and feel comfortable talking to each other freely. If an employee tells you that she is bothered by the way she is treated by another person, then there is a problem and it needs to be addressed. Whether you agree that this person is a target of bullying or not is, quite frankly, irrelevant.

Ultimately, the truth of a story lies not in the intricate details that you jot down in your notes as you listen to your employee's grievance, but in the story's underlying meaning. Ask yourself what the story means for performance, and what it means for the organization's culture.

The value of the story lies in your reaction to it. Don't you want to have a workplace where innovation, effective decision-making, and high performance prevails?

If you do need a clear cut answer to the questions: "Is this person being bullied, really? Or are they just being over sensitive?" then call us. Civility Partners has the tools and the knowledge to help you determine the answer, and to help you intervene effectively.

We can help you develop a positive workplace where bullying would not be allowed to thrive. Contact us for a complimentary consultation.

BOOK REVIEW: Road to Respect: Path to Profit

2010-07-25T17:29:00.000-07:00

Harassment and hostility are not new concepts in the business world, nor are they legal. Businesses are required by law to develop, implement and effectively manage these behaviors, and unfortunately many do so only because the law says they have to - and not because they truly believe in the power of a respectful, positive workplace. The terms workplace bullying, abusive management and toxic bosses are relatively newer concepts in business rhetoric – and because employers are not required to address them - many don’t. What these organizations do not understand is that, aside from being just a plain ol’ sound business decision, a respectful culture in the workplace can reap many benefits. Organizations focused on a respectful culture enjoy better quality work, increased production, happier (and returning) customers, superior ability to meet organizational goals, increased learning and collaboration, better decision-making… the list goes on and on.

Road to Respect, Path to Profit – How to Become an Employer of Choice by Building a Respectful Workplace Culture by Erica Pinsky, provides solid advice for business owners, managers, decision-makers, organizational development and human resource professionals, and anyone else interested in building a respectful workplace.

Many will tell you the answer is a zero tolerance corporate policy, but as Pinsky points out, this is not the answer. Policies are only worth the paper they are printed on (about 3 cents). A respectful workplace culture is a road “paved” over time with trust and support; and Pinsky’s book provides the tools you need to arrive at your destination.

Continue reading the book review at CompulsiveReader.com by clicking here.

Purchase the book by visiting here.

A Few Notes on Violent Behavior

2010-07-25T16:02:00.000-07:00

This weekend I was working on a training for dealing with bullying students, and was asked that part of the training include information about how to monitor the bully's communication in order to predict if it will turn violent.

I was shocked to find there isn't much "out there" on the internet about the topic of nonverbal communication as a predictor of violence, so thought I'd attempt to rectify that with my own blog post about it.

Violent behavior occurs with the intersection of four factors:

Personality: The individual’s interpersonal functioning, or the way the student views the world, will determine if violence is the outcome of a stressful situation. Violent-prone individuals subscribe to control and blame instead of understanding and taking responsibility. Right and wrong is determined by what they can get away with instead of what makes them feel guilty. Cultural background and past experiences have led to an acceptability of violence.

Stress: Because violent-prone idividuals do not understand their misfortunes or frustrations, and instead passionately blame others, they are struck by an overwhelming sense of desparation and increasing sense of powerlessness. Violence is a way to get back power.

Setting: Effective violence prevention depends on the ability of the setting to recognize warning signs and mediate the effect of stress on individuals. In other words, violence cannot occur unless it is allowed to occur. This training is a step towards adjusting the setting.

Lacking communication skills: Violence is often a result of an inability to express oneself successfully. When a person feels like they cannot get their point across, or they are not being understood, they become frustrated and lash out in order to gain control of the situation.

Predicting Violent Behavior with Nonverbal Cues

60-90% of our communication is nonverbal, and most of the time we pay attention to it subconsciously. While it is impossible to predict with absolute certainty when someone will become violent, you can learn a lot from a person’s body language if you consciously pay close attention.

Nonverbal cues that indicate someone may become violent in the next few minutes include:
• Never ceasing eye contact; staring, never looking away or at another part of your body

• Clenched teeth, narrowing of eyes, and tense lips

• Arms crossed on the chest, closed fists, or arms held back slightly as if they are winding up for a swing. Also, hands held tightly against the chest could indicate defensiveness or holding a weapon.

• A shifting of weight to the back leg like a fighter ready to take a swing

• Inability to sit down, appearing anxious

• Rapid breathing and a loud, raised voice

Violence may also occur when the individual is told “no”, is given orders instead of options, or feels like he or she is not being understood. Knowing this, it is important to construct your own messages as collaborative, positive and opportunistic, rather than negative and limiting.

Preventing Violence at Work

In order to ensure an employee never turns violent, the organization must take steps to keep aggression to a minimum. Everyone should be trained and active in recognizing warning signs, and procedures must be in place to address those signs when discovered. One way to do this is to form a crisis prevention team of organizational leaders who will work with an employee who seems violent-prone. The team may be responsible for mediation, communication skills coaching, or working with the employee to relieve stress somehow. The team could also construct an action plan for building a positive culture, facilitate the construction of effective problem solving at work, introduce training programs to the workplace, and the like.

Earn CEU's at our upcoming workshop "Build & sustain a Healthy Workplace: Understand and Eradicate Bullying at Work"

2010-07-21T18:28:00.000-07:00

Build & Sustain a Healthy Workplace: Understand and Eradicate Bullying at Work

Research indicates 70% of the workforce is bullied at some point in their life, and that at any given time, 25% of the workforce is being bullied. Annually, one bully could cost an organization a minimum of $100,000 per year.

The Division of Extended Learning is excited to partner with subject-matter expert Catherine Mattice from Civility Partners, LLC to offer a ground-breaking half-day seminar where participants will gain innovative business management training in the hot new topic of workplace bullying. The seminar will clarify workplace bullying, provide an update on the laws in motion to end it, provide tools for eradicating it from the workplace, and everything you need to sustain a healthy workplace culture.

August 18, 2010
8:30 am - 11:30 am
National University, La Mesa Campus
San Diego, CA

Price: $199

Register by calling: 1-800-NAT-UNIV ext. 8600

Watch our 3 1/2 minute video about workplace bullying here.

Who should attend:
Human resources, workplace learning and performance professionals, business owners, conflict resolution specialists, professional mediators, employee assistance professionals, managers, team leaders, supervisors, coaches, business management consultants, health and wellness specialists, and targets of bullying.

This course has been approved for CEU's from:
•IACET Continuing Education Units
•International Society for Performance Improvement's CPT recertification points
•HR Certification Institute's recertification credit
•Employee Assistance Certification Commission's PDHs

After successful completion participants will gain:
•Comprehensive knowledge in the system of bullying and why it happens at work
•Knowledge in determining the cost of bullying in your organization
•Interpersonal communication and conflict management skills for battling the bully
•Management tools for immediate corrective action and handling grievances
•Techniques for sustainable healthy change and positive employee performance

Takeaways: Template corporate policy, culture assessment and cost of bullying worksheets, and case studies.

Register by calling: 1-800-NAT-UNIV ext. 8600

eBossWatch Launches National Sexual Harassment Registry

2010-07-21T18:09:00.000-07:00

Workplace initiative modeled after FBI's National Sex Offender Registry

LAS VEGAS, July 21 /PRNewswire/ -- eBossWatch, the leading career resource that enables people to anonymously rate their current or former bosses, today announced the launch of the first ever National Sexual Harassment Registry.

The National Sexual Harassment Registry is a searchable database of people who have been formally and publicly accused of sexual harassment by their subordinates or coworkers. The Registry is designed to be a resource to help job seekers better evaluate potential employers and to help organizations better evaluate job candidates.

"The eBossWatch National Sexual Harassment Registry sends a strong message to those intending to sexually harass their employees or coworkers that they will be publicly held accountable and will suffer serious consequences for their abusive actions," said Asher Adelman, founder of eBossWatch. "Now anyone will be able to search our national database and will instantly know if their potential boss or job candidate has been the subject of a sexual harassment complaint."

Inspired by the FBI's National Sex Offender Registry, which tracks and provides information about registered sex offenders, the eBossWatch National Sexual Harassment Registry will enable people to conduct searches free of charge to obtain information about people who have been accused of sexual harassment in the workplace.

Caren Goldberg, Ph.D., a management professor at American University whose primary research interests are in sexual harassment, said, "If used judiciously, the Registry has the potential to help organizations minimize the likelihood of hiring a known harasser and to help applicants minimize the likelihood of taking a job at an organization where they wouldn't fit."

The National Sexual Harassment Registry is located at http://www.ebosswatch.com/

About eBossWatch
Founded in 2007, eBossWatch is a popular career resource that helps people evaluate potential employers and avoid toxic workplaces. eBossWatch enables people to anonymously rate their bosses in a professional and non-libelous manner. eBossWatch is also the publisher of the America's Worst Bosses list and a news site that highlights and exposes bad bosses.

eBossWatch has been featured or mentioned extensively in the media, including on ABCNews.com, Fox News, Forbes.com, BusinessWeek.com, AOL, Monster.com, New York Post, TheStreet.com, Chicago Tribune, Orange County Register, Houston Chronicle, Seattle Times, the San Francisco Chronicle, and the Toronto Globe.

For more information, go to http://www.ebosswatch.com/ or email us at contact@ebosswatch.com

SOURCE eBossWatch
http://www.ebosswatch.com/

Read the original press release on PR Newswire here.

Do bullies really mean it?

2010-07-05T17:03:00.000-07:00

That’s a great question and one that came up over and over at the International Association for Workplace Bullying & Harassment conference. Unfortunately we don’t have an answer, but I will weigh in on it here and let you make your own decision.
While there is no research to say either way (and I say that after conferring with the two foremost researchers in the academic “bullying field”), it seems pretty clear that for human resources professionals, intent does matter. Teresa A. Daniel, who seems to be the resident expert on workplace bullying for the Society for Human Resources Management (SHRM), discusses this in her article and in her book, Stop Bullying at Work (SHRM Press, 2009). She claims the difference between a bully and a tough boss is in fact intent. According to Dr. Daniel, although their behaviors may be similar, bullies misuse power and focus on personal interests while tough bosses are objective and have self-control.

The Healthy Workplace Bill, a Bill that aims to make equal-opportunity bullying illegal, and has been introduced in 17 states but not yet passed in any of them, defines abusive conduct (i.e., bullying) as “conduct, with malice… that a reasonable person would find to be hostile, (and) offensive.” The word “malice” indicates intent. This means that one would have to prove the bully meant to do it in order to obtain legal recourse.

On the flip side, I (and many of my colleagues) have had conversations with bullies who claimed they had no idea that their behavior was so harmful. One in particular said that he knew he was hurting people’s feelings – that much he could tell. But he simply did not have the communication tools to change, and he begged me to help him improve. Is that malicious behavior? I’m thinking no.

Unfortunately, however, one is left to question the reliability of these bullies. How do we really know they are not lying in the face of a consultant, who they know was hired by management? Are they really going to say, “Ha! I did mean to do it and it felt great when I made Sue cry!” Probably not.

This leaves us back at square one. Do bullies really mean it?

Although I am unable to provide a real answer to this question, I will say this. Whether bullies mean to do it or not, their behavior is harmful to targets, witnesses, and the organization. While I believe some bullies do mean it and some do not, I ultimately don’t believe the issue of intent really matters at all. If an organization has rules and a culture in place to enforce a positive and collaborative work environment, bullies will have no choice but to change their behavior. End of story. If they don’t, they will be pushed out of the organization due to inability to meet performance goals. And this is the case whether they intend to bully or not.

We can help you develop a positive workplace where bullying would not be allowed to thrive. Contact us for a complimentary consultation at catherine (at) civilitypartners (dot) com.

A Little About Gender and Workplace Bullying

2010-06-27T16:11:00.000-07:00

At the International Association for Workplace Bullying & Harassment I had the honor of hearing Denise Salin, one of the foremost researchers of workplace bullying, speak on the topic of gender as it relates to bullying at work. So here’s a few tidbits, as told to me, and 250 other attendees, by Denise Salin.

• Women are more likely to self-label as a target of bullying than men

• Women are more likely to label their past experiences as bullying when discussing them with others

• Women more often define bullying as emotional abuse and professional discrediting

• Men more often define bullying as manipulation of work

• Men emphasize victim characteristics more than women

• Women are more likely to conceptualize bullying as an organizational problem, with organizational antecedents and consequences

• Both men and women experience negative health as a result of being bullied, although the effects seem to be more poignant for women

• Women are more likely to seek social support and avoid the bully, while men are more assertive

• Male HR managers are more likely to refrain from taking action

• Gender of the target, perpetrator and witness all effect whether the witness labels what they observe as bullying (I didn’t catch exactly which gender labels what)

• Witnesses do not think men suffer health consequences

• Targets who exhibit gender-incongruent behavior are more likely to be bullied

• Research does not yet show whether gender matters in terms of job satisfaction, commitment, intention to stay, absenteeism, etc, as they relate to workplace bullying

• Gender is relevant for experience of bullying and for intervention purposes

The Role of Bystanders in Workplace Bullying

2010-06-27T15:39:00.000-07:00

Bystanders play an important role in the process of workplace bullying because they have the power to help end it by standing up to the bully or reporting it to management. Sadly, often this does not happen and bullying is allowed to persist, many times for as long as five years (although targets usually quit after about two).

In addition, research definitely supports the fact that bystanders are troubled by the bullying they witness at work, and that their job satisfaction, loyalty to the company, production, and work quality all decline while their anxiety and fear increase. (Just one more reason managers should be focused on building a positive workplace, as if they didn’t already have enough.)

After returning from making my own presentations at the International Association for Workplace Bullying & Harassment, I thought I’d provide some insight into some of the things I learned there about bystanders.

Becky Byrn-Schmid presented her research on motivational factors for intervening or not intervening, and found the top reason people intervene is affiliation. She surmises that “administrators believe developing and maintaining cooperative teams is important enough to intervene”. Bystanders might also intervene because they believe it is their role and important to getting the job done. On the other hand, bystanders might not intervene because they see no evidence that bullying is occurring, have no support from management to assist in ending the bullying, do not have enough confidence in themselves to intervene, or are concerned it will create more conflict.

The winners of best paper, Sabrina Salamon and Sally Maitlis, delivered a presentation from research conducted by observing the lifespan of a group of undergraduates who met every week over the course of two school semesters. For eight months, they watched the class interact from behind a one-way mirror, and observed a gradual process of victimization that was institutionalized by the group and ultimately turned into what we would normally classify as “mobbing”. Mobbing is defined as a group of people targeting one person, such as in the case of Phoebe Prince; different than workplace bullying where one person is targeting one or more people. In either case, the mob or bully seek to ultimately eliminate the target from the group through employment termination or forcing him or her to quit. The researchers here, however, noticed that in this case the target became a scapegoat for the group – and therefore they did not want him to leave. When things went wrong, they had someone to blame.

One of the main causes of the aggression in this case was a lack of structure in the course, in that the course had no syllabus, no assignments, and no tests; students were left to create their own course and thus learn about group dynamics by ultimately reflecting on the dynamics of this group. The conclusion that lack of structure may have caused the aggression to occur further supports what researchers have already concluded: ambiguity is often correlated with aggression at work. Here, the scapegoat recommended that the class develop structure for themselves and ultimately was attacked for it, despite his classmate’s recognition that this was indeed a good idea.

The researchers also noticed that scapegoating brought the rest of the group together. Despite all the ambiguity, coming together to pick on one person provided a steady commonality to cling to.

Based on her research on bystanders, Maryam Omari and colleague offered insight into how to help bystanders come to a point where they might intervene and save not only the target but their own sanity and the workplace. They recommend that bystander education have three objectives: describing how to recognize bullying behaviors, enlightening bystanders that silence essentially legitimizes the bullying, and providing information on the role bystanders play and how to help stand up to bullies while protecting themselves.

Ultimately, I always advocate for training for everyone in the organization, along with many other action items that would allow a healthy workplace to flourish. Training should never be solely about workplace bullying and how to stop it – it should always involve information about recognizing, demonstrating and rewarding positive behaviors. A focus on the problem will only serve as a band-aid. Managers must focus on the well-being of the entire organization in order for any proposed solutions to actually work.

How to Manage an Office Bully - from INC Magazine Online

2010-06-25T19:09:00.000-07:00

By Raven Hill

The news that former eBay CEO Meg Whitman settled a lawsuit with an employee whom she allegedly shoved has shined a spotlight on office bullying. Here's what you need to know if you have a bully in your workplace

Although bullying in schools has received glaring media coverage with laws enacted to address the problem, workplace bullying has not received as much attention or legal redress. Until, that is, the New York Times and other media outlets reported that California Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman had settled a lawsuit for "around $200,000" with an employee who alleged that Whitman had shoved her.

(“Yes, we had an unfortunate incident, but we resolved it in a way that speaks well for her and for eBay,” the employee told the Times.)

The revelation raised the issue of workplace bullying on the national stage, perhaps for the very first time. The reasons behind office bullying are varied, experts say. Many people tend to look at bullying as a "playground problem" – bad behavior, but not harmful. And in most cases, bullying is not illegal, which leaves managers with little recourse. But it is real, experts insist, and deserves serious attention.

Bullying is repeated mistreatment – verbal abuse; threatening, humiliating or intimidating behavior or conduct; or sabotage – that prevents work from getting done and jeopardizes the target's health, according to the Workplace Bullying Institute in Bellingham, Washington. It can be a form of racial or gender discrimination although not necessarily. The bully may be a supervisor, peer colleague or lower-level staffer.

According to a Workplace Bullying Institute study, 72 percent of bullies are bosses and 49 percent of employees report being affected by bullying at work. This guide will help you to rein in an office bully to boost morale and avoid getting caught in a bully's bull's eye.

How to Manage an Office Bully: Are You a Bully?

Denise Dawson, who runs the ReallyBadBoss.com blog, describes her first boss as "the worst bully," a cursing and screaming type who preferred to rule by fear. "We felt like prisoners more than employees," she says. "Morale was awful. Attrition was atrocious."

Continue reading the article here.

A Strong Ethical Culture Is Key to Cutting Misconduct on the Job

2010-06-25T16:11:00.000-07:00

ERC study shows that employees take cues from top management, pressure from peers to do the right thing

Organizations with strong ethical values – from top executives to middle managers to workers – experience less misconduct, more frequent reporting of misbehavior and less retaliation on the job, a newly released study by the Ethics Resource Center shows.

The study – “The Importance of Ethical Culture: Increasing Trust and Driving Down Risks” – indicates that strong ethical culture in a company has a “profound” impact on the kinds of workplace behavior that can put a business in jeopardy.

According to the study, organizations with stronger cultures find far fewer employees (4 percent) feel pressure to commit misconduct than in weaker cultures (15 percent). Likewise, the rate at which employees observe misconduct by co-workers is nearly twice as high in weaker cultures (76 percent) as in stronger cultures (39 percent).

The report also finds that actions by top managers (and the way they are perceived) have a significant impact on outcomes and that co-worker culture – peer pressure – is particularly powerful in cutting the amount of financial misconduct witnessed by employees.

“The work of the ERC is exemplary,” said Roy Snell, CEO of the Society of Corporate Compliance and Ethics (SCCE) and the Health Care Compliance Association (HCCA), which sponsored the study. “They have many years of experience and tremendous data. The ethical culture is one of the most reliable measurements of compliance and ethics program effectiveness, particularly when you have such a broad set of comparison data.” This information should help many compliance and ethics officers in their effort to build awareness and understanding of their leadership.”

“The Importance of Ethical Culture” is based on results from ERC’s 2009 National Business Ethics Survey of 2,852 respondents. The survey findings had a sampling error of +/- 1.8 at the 95 percent confidence level. For more information on methodology, go to http://ethics.org/nbes/methodology.html. The NBES survey is conducted every two years and is widely used by chief ethics and compliance officers in business and government and by academicians.

“The NBES data consistently tell us that a strong ethical culture offers the best protection against risky workplace behavior, which can easily land a company on the front page in a very damaging way,” said Patricia J. Harned, Ph.D., president of the Ethics Resource Center. “Rules and a code of conduct are always necessary, but it’s good leadership and peer pressure to do the right thing that often saves the day.”

To view the study, go to http://www.ethics.org/files/u5/CultureSup4.pdf.

Read the original posting here.

Workplace bullying contributes to medical malpractice

2010-06-13T10:39:00.000-07:00

Here's a really great article on workplace bullying and medical malpractice. The most important paragraph in the article is this one:

According to the Joint Commission (JACHO), an organization which accredits hospitals throughout the U.S., of roughly 5,000 sentinel events (events which resulted in patient deaths or severe injury as a result of malpractice) 70 percent were caused by poor communication between staff members and a leading cause of poor communication is workplace bullying. In an ISMP Survey 49 percent of health care professionals said that intimidation had altered the way they handled order clarification or questions about medication orders.

Thanks Kristin for talking about this very important issue!

Click here to read the article.

Cartoon Network plans major anti-bullying campaign

2010-05-30T14:58:00.000-07:00

NEW YORK (AP) - Next fall, when millions of kids tune into Cartoon Network to watch Bugs Bunny, Scooby-Doo and other favorites, they'll encounter something new - an ambitious campaign to enlist them as foot soldiers in the fight against bullying.

Unlike many bullying programs, this one is geared toward middle school, where experts say bullying is most common. It also targets not bullies nor the bullied, but kids who witness bullying, giving them appropriate techniques to intervene.

"There are specific strategies young people can learn to make a difference in their schools and communities," said Alice Cahn, Cartoon Network's vice president of social responsibility. "We decided to focus on those who watch bullying happen - the bystander community - who know they should do something, but are not sure what."

The anti-bullying campaign includes content in the cartoons themselves, in public service ads, in an online curriculum and on CNN, which will include complementary programming for parents.

Read the rest of this article by David Crary of Associated Press here.

Senate Passes Landmark Legislation to Halt Bullying and Abuse in the Workplace

2010-05-13T14:30:00.000-07:00

New York State Senator Thomas P. Morahan, Chairman of the Committee on Mental Health and Developmental Disabilities today secured Senate passage of his landmark legislation (S.1823-B) which establishes a civil cause of action for employees who are subjected to an abusive work environment.

Specifically, this legislation provides legal redress for employees who have been harmed psychologically, physically or economically by being deliberately subjected to abusive work environments; and it provides legal incentives for employers to prevent and respond to mistreatment of employees at work.

Surveys and studies demonstrate that 16 to 21 percent of employees experience health-endangering workplace bullying, abuse and harassment, and that this behavior is 4 times more prevalent then sexual harassment. These studies have also documented the serious effects on these targeted employees. They include: shame, humiliation, stress, loss of sleep, severe anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress disorder, reduced immunity to infection, gastrointestinal disorders, hypertension and pathophysiologic changes that increase the risk of cardiovascular disease.

“The social and economic well-being of the State is dependent upon healthy, safe, and productive employees,” said Senator Morahan. “I want to thank all my colleagues, on both sides of the aisle, who voted for this legislation today. In particular, Senator George Onorato, Chairman of the Labor Committee, Republican Leader Dean Skelos, Majority Conference Leader John Sampson and Deputy Majority Leader Jeff Klein for helping secure passage of the legislation”.

“I became aware of the prevalence of abusive environments in the workplace when one of my constituents brought her situation at her place of employment to my attention. It became apparent that legislation was needed to address the problem,” said Morahan.

“Workplace bullying, abuse and harassment bring with them a variety of very serious human and economic costs,” said Senator George Onorato, Chairman of the Labor Committee and co-prime sponsor of the legislation. “Abusive behavior can cause grievous harm to employees who are the victims of it, leading to all manner of health problems and, often, forcing them to leave their jobs to escape it. In addition, it costs employers in terms of lost employee productivity, and other workplace problems. By taking aim at abusive work environments, this legislation will protect employees from inappropriate behavior and help our businesses to become more productive and successful.”

“Mistreatment of employees in the workplace is a serious issue, but too often, workers have no recourse when they are subject to an abusive work environment,” said Senate Republican Leader Dean G. Skelos. “Senator Morahan’s legislation will help employees who have been harmed, physically, mentally or financially, and will encourage employers to do more to prevent and respond to this problem.”

“We are truly appreciative of Senator Morahan’s efforts which have culminated in the passage of vital legislation today in the New York State Senate,” said New York Healthy Workplace Advocate State Coordinators Mike Schlicht and Tom Witt.

“On behalf of the workforce of our State, I call on my Legislative colleagues in the Assembly to pass this bill in their house,” said Senator Morahan.

Read the original post by Senator Morahan here.

New York is fighting the good fight against workplace bullying

2010-05-13T08:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday New York's senate passed S1823B. If enacted, victims of abusive work environments may have relief via legal action. Though we are not in the clear yet - NY Assembly must first pass A5414B and the Governor must sign it off, which is no easy feat.

According to documentarian and blogger Beverly Peterson, "This time last year, Paterson vetoed a bill with a much less immediate impact and an intention to explore the best way to legislate hostile work environments. Had he put his pen on the dotted line the study results would be in place right about now to help guide lawmakers toward a legal solution."

Mike Schlicht, State Coordinator (Upstate) for the New York Healthy Workplace Advocates, had this to say:

"History was made today in New York State with the passage of Bill S1823B “The Healthy Workplace Bill” that allows employees and employers to address the issue of workplace bullying. Sixty-two courageous state Senators have spoken that workplace bullying will no longer be tolerated in the workplace and employees who bully others will not be able to hide behind their employer and make them responsible for their own actions as is with protected status harassment. Likewise, employers who do not address this form of workplace violence will have to do so and while not all of them with be pleased with the legislation, proactive employers will now have a tool to rid themselves of bullies who undermine the bottom line, increase health care premiums, increase turnover and create workers comp and disability issues. On behalf of all employees, present and former who have experienced this form of workplace violence, I sincerely thank the courageous Senators of New York State for passing this legislation."

Harassment Protection Orders may assist targets of workplace bullying in Massachusetts

2010-05-11T20:11:00.000-07:00

Massachusetts has taken one small step towards government ordered civil workplaces. They have passed a law that will assist folks being harassed at work, and it went into effect yesterday.

Previously, restraining orders against stalkers, abusers and those committing sexual assault were reserved for family members, roommates, spouses, or substantial dating relationships. The new law has made the ability to file a Harassment Protection Order (HPO) against anyone, regardless of relationship, available. That means one could potentially file an order against a co-worker or boss for bullying.

I'm no attorney though, so here is some useful information from attorney Phil A. Taylor, offered on his blog:

If one is being harassed, which is defined as “(i) 3 or more acts of willful and malicious conduct aimed at a specific person committed with the intent to cause fear, intimidation, abuse or damage to property and that does in fact cause fear, intimidation, abuse or damage to property; or (ii) an act that: (A) by force, threat or duress causes another to involuntarily engage in sexual relations; or (B) constitutes a violation of section 13B, 13F, 13H, 22, 22A, 23, 24, 24B, 26C, 43 or 43A of chapter 265 or section 3 of chapter 272″, one can now apply to the court for a harassment prevention, regardless of the presence of any family relationship.

A defendant in an action under Chapter 258E can be ordered to: “(i) refrain from abusing or harassing the plaintiff, whether the defendant is an adult or minor; (ii) refrain from contacting the plaintiff, unless authorized by the court, whether the defendant is an adult or minor; (iii) remain away from the plaintiff’s household or workplace, whether the defendant is an adult or minor; and (iv) pay the plaintiff monetary compensation for the losses suffered as a direct result of the harassment; provided, however, that compensatory damages shall include, but shall not be limited to, loss of earnings, out-of-pocket losses for injuries sustained or property damaged, cost of replacement of locks, medical expenses, cost for obtaining an unlisted phone number and reasonable attorney’s fees.”

More information on HPO's can also be found on attorney Denise Murphy's blog, at Women's Law.org, and on attorney Ernest H. Hyde's blog. The law's verbiage can be found here, on Massachussets' government website.

What are the implications for employers in Massachusetts?

You're going to see a lot of advice online that includes implementing guidelines and training to be sure your workplace remains HPO-free. While these are useful tools, if you are working in the type of organization where HPO's are possible, you've got more problems than training and policies can correct.

Take preventative measures. That means leadership will need to step up to the plate and be sure they are exhibiting exemplary behavior for others to follow suit. Develop an action plan for building a positive workplace culture - it should include performance management programs, building effective internal communication, mentoring programs, and a team of champions that will carry the action plan through, for example.

How much does workplace bullying really cost an organization?

2010-05-11T12:42:00.000-07:00

The cost of bullying will vary at every organization, so before going into how you can determine those costs specifically, here are some general estimates about bullying and stress in the workplace:

• Leymann, the researcher who brought bullying into scholarly research, estimated a bully can cost a single business up to $100,000 per year per target.
• A survey of 9,000 employees cited by Dr. Michael H. Harrison of Harrison Psychological Associates in the Orlando Business Journal estimated a cost of more than $180 million in lost time and productivity.
• The Corporate Levers Survey estimated the cost of unfairness to American businesses during the past five years to be $63,738,884,783.
• The American Psychological Association estimates job stress costs American businesses $300 billion a year in absenteeism, diminished productivity, employee turnover and medical and legal costs.
• The American Psychological Association also estimates that 50% to 70% of visits to primary care physicians are for physical issues stemming from psychological factors such as stress.

These costs can be broken into five separate categories:

Distraction from Tasks
The bully wreaks havoc on the organization, and as a result everyone, not just the target, are distracted from getting work done. Some of the things that keep them from working are:

• Reduced psychological safety and increased climate of fear
• Loss of motivation and energy
• Stress induced psychological and physical illness
• Decreased loyalty to the organization
• Management burnout, leading to decreased commitment and increased stress
• Time spent looking for different work
• Time spent gossiping about the bully and his or her behavior
• Time spent by others consoling the target

Time Lost
Of course any time you have to deal with employee issues it costs time and money to engage in the following types of activities:
• Employees and management calming and counseling victims
• Management appeasing, counseling or disciplining bullies
• Soothing victimized customers, suppliers and other key outsiders
• Reorganizing departments and teams
• Interviewing, recruiting, and training replacements for departed victims, witnesses and bullies who leave the organization

Tangible Costs
Tangible costs include:
• Lost customers who were victimized by the bully
• Lost customers who heard about the bully from unhappy former customers
• Anger management, communication, leadership and other types of training
• Absenteeism and turnover
• Unemployment insurance
• Increased health insurance costs
• Workers compensation

With regard to absenteeism and turnover, 30% of targets quit, and another 20% of witnesses, or people who do not believe they are bullied but are bothered by the behavior they observe nonetheless, follow them (Rayner, 1997). An additional 46% of targets also consider leaving the organization on a regular basis (Vartia, 1996). Targets also report that each year, they take seven days more sick leave than someone not being bullied. You already know absenteeism and presenteeism is costly, and in fact can cost between 25 and 65% of that particular position’s annual salary. Ouch.

One cost that is intangible is a bad reputation, something the Internet makes easy for you to acquire. Websites like eBossWatch, where employees can go to report and publish their horrible experiences for anyone to read, should keep you focused on building a positive workplace. The Corporate Leavers Survey also indicated that 50% of respondents said the unfairness with which they were treated led them to discourage others from purchasing products or services from previous employers.

Legal Costs
Of course, if somebody sues for harassment, intentional infliction of emotional distress, hostility, or wrongful termination, it is going to cost you in obtaining counsel, and in settlement fees and successful litigation by victims and bullies.

Communication Breakdown
This category is hard to monetize, but think about this: If you do not like someone, do you go running to them for answers to questions? Probably not. Now, what if you are intimidated by someone? The likelihood of you seeking them out for information goes down exponentially. If you are not asking the questions you need answers to in order to do your job effectively, then there is a problem.

Your organization has goals in place, whether to make a certain amount of money, expand your customer base by 50%, or create a new product by the end of the year. It has goals, and it needs employees to communicate with each other to meet them.

The objective of internal communication, then, is to problem solve, innovate, give constructive feedback to employees, gain insight from customers, train and share knowledge, and meet customer needs. All of these communication activities lead to meeting organizational goals.

Since communication is imperative to meeting goals, it necessarily follows that strong interpersonal relationships are also crucial to meeting goals. In other words, communicating well is about building relationships –healthy interpersonal relationships made up of understanding, empathy, conflict management, listening, leadership, and social intelligence allow you to meet organizational goals.

When relationships are on fire, however, or not working properly, organizational goals also go down in flames and up in smoke. This would be like forcing your organizational goal to jump through a ring of fire; and why would you do that?

In sum, bullying causes everyone, not just the targets of the behavior, to lose motivation, lose loyalty to managers and the company, stop caring about quality of work, live life in fear, become anxious and even depressed, and stop coming to work. As a result your business processes will suffer and your bottom line will too.

Relationships among employees are the key to your success. Without them, people are not talking to each other, being innovative, making the right decisions, or focused on the right activities to maximize their productivity.

Click here to download the whitepaper.

More on performance reviews and workplace bullies

2010-05-04T21:36:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I posted an article about using values to address a bully's performance and behavior. I made a few suggestions on some of the values that would be useful in this sort of process, and then I came across Jon Matsuo's post on LinkedIn. During a conversation there in an organizational development group, Jon posted these examples and I thought they were so great I asked him if I could post them here.

So, here are some more suggestions for values that you can create to help deter bullying behavior in your workplace. Remember, the values should ultimately be defined by your managers and employees to create buy-in, but these are definitely helpful.

1. Team Player – helps others without being asked. Does not let the team down in any way, takes the lead in getting things done. Never puts others down but encourages, teaches and supports them. Works well with all. Takes on the toughest jobs. Always visible working hard.

2. Reliable – Always on time. Completes tasks professionally. Carries out his duties completely. Others have confidence that he will do things the right way every time. Always calls in the day before if he is unable to work. Can be relied on to do extra work if it is required. Consistently puts out great work. Is perfectly honest.

3. Responsible – Takes personal responsibility for getting the job done perfectly, no matter what. Always trying to solve problems, protect the company’s property, image, reputation, costs, and success. Is very careful when driving company vehicles or installing _____. Always comes to work fully ready (Does not drink the night before, never does drugs, gets good night sleep). Knows what each job is about – knows the production notes and special instructions. Asks for clarification if is not sure about anything, or if something doesn’t seem right. Immediately reports unsafe conditions or things that are harmful to any person or the company.

4. Fast Learner- is anxious to learn from others, and is always trying to learn to do things better. Remembers what he has learned and applies it on the job. Thinks of new ideas to use on the job. Asks questions when he is unsure about what and how to do a task... Curious. Teaches others what he has learned.

5. Professional- Realizes that any and every job can be done with pride and high quality. Always has pleasing the client as the highest goal, because it means more business. Earns respect from his appearance, (hair, cleanliness, uniform) his speech, his hard work, safety, and his skill. Helps others abide by rules by his example. Earns the respect of clients and everyone around him. Works hard, and does the right thing when no one is watching.

6. Maturity- Totally trustworthy. Will always do the right thing without being told. Never bends the rules. Unselfish. Is always considerate of others, never offends others with speech or actions. Lets his work speak for him (hard working, skillful, smart) Impresses teammates, management and clients with what a quality person he is. Strong character – is able to think for himself, and follow company report card values rather than being influenced by others.

7. Leadership- has all of the above qualities in abundance. His actions speak well of him in all ways and he is well respected for his work, effort, caring, skill, and integrity. Team mates are willing to follow him because of his example. He always tries to think of ways that he, and the company can be better. Thinks ahead and plans. Communicates well. Humble. Does not try to bully, intimidate, manipulate. Is not afraid to speak up to others in a respectful way. Will stand up for what is right. Always trying to help others to make them successful, and look good.

The values are assigned differing weights, depending on the need for emphasis. The employees know that these are not their values until they live them, and every opportunity is taken to apply them in discussions and decisions.

As you can see there is nothing special about them. They should be put together by targeting the specific needs of the organization.

I view values as tools for getting the organization to where it needs to be. When applied judiciously, people appreciate the positive impact that it can have, and embrace them. Those that don't may not belong there.

Thanks Jon! Visit Jon on LinkedIn here.

Performance reviews and workplace bullies

2010-05-03T16:28:00.000-07:00

Can you use the performance process to help a workplace bully curb his or her behavior? Well, they can be very helpful if you’re paying attention to ensuring a positive and healthy culture. Developing a performance evaluation process that includes civility is not too difficult (although changing the bully’s behavior will of course be a challenging process, but worth it in the end).

Many organizations use the performance evaluation process as a once per year thing that everyone despises. Managers hate the process of telling employees they are not meeting goals, and employees of course dread those types of conversations. After a few weeks they’ve forgotten what it is they were supposed to work on and return to normal anyway. This isn’t helpful to the employee, the manager, or the organization.

In order to adjust any type of behavior, whether bullying or not, employee evaluations should be held at a minimum once per quarter. They should also not focus only on what’s going wrong, but should place a focus on what is going right. So don’t forget to talk about where the employee is excelling too.

Before you start the process, you must first develop a list of competencies that are simple and unambiguous, and describe expectations for performance and behavior. Here are some examples of competencies that would be useful for eradicating bullying behavior:

• Communication: Addresses others with an encouraging and positive attitude. Listens to other ideas different from his or her own with an open-mind. Avoids raising his or her voice when frustrated and demonstrates professionalism at all times. Maintains confidentiality of information where required and handles sensitive information with tact.

• Conflict resolution: Understands the value of listening to differences of opinion. Seeks solutions to resolve conflict with a focus on maintaining the relationship. Avoids attacking individuals during periods of conflict, and focuses instead on developing an amicable solution to the issue.

• Collaboration: Seeks out the opinions of others before making decisions that will impact them. Encourages open discussions about issues and searches for innovative solutions. Avoids gossiping or humiliating others.

• Assertiveness: Demonstrates ability to express opinions and convictions in a professional manner and without putting other opinions down. Displays confidence during interactions and deals constructively with other’s differences of opinions.

During reviews, provide the employee a minimum five examples of specific situations where these behavior-based competencies and other performance-based competencies you developed were demonstrated. Describe the positive impact or outcome for the organization as a result of meeting that competency.

After discussing strengths, discuss a maximum of three areas for improvement. Focus on the one major area the employee should work on, particularly their interpersonal skills if the employee is a bully. Be very specific about situations where competencies were not met, how they are harmful for the organization, and what changes you would like to see. Provide clear examples of what “doing it right” would look like. Connect “doing it right” to positive outcomes for the organization.

Next, provide the employee with SMART goals for their behavior change. SMART goals are Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Realistic, and have a Timeline. A bully needs to know what the specific behavior change should look like, how it will be measured, that it is possible to change and you believe in their ability to do so, and by when the change should take place.

Of course bullies cannot change overnight, so your timeline is going to have to be made up of baby steps. If it appears the bully is left unsure of how to change his or her behavior, you may need to bring in a communication skills coach, or even provide a high-level organizational mentor, to help the individual meet these goals.

THE INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION ON WORKPLACE BULLYING AND HARASSMENT

2010-04-14T14:24:00.000-07:00

www.iawbh.org

Press release:
The conference returns to the UK after an eight year gap, to Wales for the first time. It brings together researchers, academics and practitioners at a world class three day event. The conference aims to share knowledge and understanding around the complex workplace issues of bullying, harassment, discrimination and violence.

Co-chair of the conference Professor Duncan Lewis of the Glamorgan Business School said “This
should be an excellent opportunity to bring together world experts to discuss how we take forward the theory and practice of these important workplace issues. We are delighted to be hosting the 7th occasion of this International conference”.

Keynote speakers include renowned expert Professor Staale Einarsen from the University of Bergen in Norway, Professor David Yamada of the Suffolk Business School in Boston USA, and Professor Ralph Fevre lead expert on the UK Government’s 2nd Fair Treatment at Work Survey. Other speakers include Associate Professor Denise Salin from Finland, Dr Gary Namie from the USA and Rachael Maskell from Unite the Union.

Professor Michael Sheehan, Co-chair of the conference said “We are delighted that we have been able to attract many of the leading researchers and practitioners in the field, and to have an international flavour to the conference, with delegates and speakers from across the globe”.
Please visit the conference website at www.bullying2010.com. The conference is sponsored by the University of Glamorgan, Acas, Equality and Human Rights Commission, Public Service Management Wales, Institute of Leadership and Management, People Resolutions and Hogrefe Ltd.

MICHAEL SHEEHAN AT GLAMORGAN UNIVERSITY, HOSTING THE IAWBH CONFERENCE

For more information and to register, visit www.iawbh.org or visit the conference website, www.bullying2010.com.

What the workplace can learn from Phoebe Prince

2010-04-13T10:43:00.000-07:00

With the heartbreaking January suicide of yet another bullied teenager, Phoebe Prince, a 15-year old in Massachusetts, the topic of bullying has again captured our attention. According to District Attorney Elizabeth Scheibel, who is charging nine teens for torturous harassment of Phoebe, several faculty, staff and administrators of the school were made aware of the bullying but took no action to help her.

Even her classmates were aware of the abuse, but chalked it up to teens-will-be-teens. They didn’t think it was at all out of hand. But Phoebe would be alive today if someone had only stepped in.

What we learned from this unfortunate set of events is that bullying should not be ignored by leaders or bystanders. Unfortunately that happens all too often in the workplace. Between 50% and 70% of the workforce is bullied at some point over the course of their career, and like Phoebe, leaders and peers never step in to help them.

Adults of bullying suffer just as much as children and teens – they develop feelings of anxiety, depression, decreased self-esteem, poor morale, humiliation, inadequacy, and helplessness, and even Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) according to several research reports.

Take Shannon for example, a former employee of a non-profit organization in San Diego. After five years of abuse at work and a manager who ignored her pleas for help, she found herself calling in sick and coming in late in order to avoid abuse. By the end, she’d hung a piece of paper over her alarm clock with the words, “Get up!” printed on it; her only inspiration and an ever failing attempt at motivating herself to endure one more anguishing day at work.

Not unlike others in her shoes, because her performance had suffered so much she was asked to leave the company. While it may not seem like it, she is lucky. She was forced out before things got even worse. Check out Beverly Peterson’s website (http://nojobisworththis.com). This documentarian and former target of workplace bullying has several clips about families who have lost a loved one to suicide because of bullying – just like Phoebe Prince’s family.

So what did we learn from Phoebe Prince?

1. Step in when you witness and incident of bullying.
Bullying only happens because the people around let it. If an individual starts to pick on another individual, and nobody says anything to him or her about it, the perpetrator will learn the behavior is okay. If somebody speaks up, however, the bully will realize peers and managers do not approve and the behavior will stop.

2. Do not blame the victim.
No one will claim that Phoebe Prince deserved what she got or that she was at fault – not only would that be an appalling and vile stance to take but it simply isn’t true. Why this blame game happens at work is beyond me; but most organizations do in fact blame victims just like Shannon. They are asked to “let it go” or “get over it” and when they can’t, their employment is terminated.

By the way, targets are usually very high producers and the bully picks on them because of their own shortage in self-esteem and feelings of being threatened by this high producer. Any organization letting a target go is shooting themselves in the foot by taking the abuser’s side.

3. Do not ignore complaints.
Respond to complaints about abuse immediately. If an employee complaints of sexual harassment, you would pull out the corporate policy handbook and follow the guidelines put in place to address it. Why wouldn’t you do the same when someone is abused? Same difference.

4. Focus on adjusting your corporate culture.
Even if you do address a complaint and the bullying seems to have ended, that is not enough to eradicate bullying from your workplace altogether. A strategic culture adjustment must be made, and can occur after obtaining buy-in from as many employees as possible. Get them involved in developing a vision of civility and the corporate policies that back it up. When employees feel included, they are more likely to take heed simply because they are personally invested.

5. Develop a healthy-workplace corporate policy.
Policies will not change the culture or prevent bullying, but they will serve as a handbook for behavior, provide guidance for handling complaints, and give permission to terminate a bully’s employment should that step need to be taken. Policies must be backed by management; otherwise they lose their influence as useful tools.

6. Be the change you want to see.
Maintain a positive attitude at all times. Treat others with respect and dignity. Avoid yelling and losing your temper. If you are frustrated, step away from others until you calm down. Encourage open discussions and employee empowerment. Develop rituals that applaud interpersonal communication skills, empathy, optimism, conflict resolution and positive attitudes as a part of the routine. Smile and laugh. You spend a lot of time at work so enjoy yourself; others will pick up on it.

Regarding the legalities of the situation, in 15 states, including California, schools are required to have an official policy to prohibit bullying among students, and many laws also encourage them to implement a bullying prevention program.

Bullying in the workplace, however, is 100% legal as long as the bully remains an equal-opportunity abuser. Harassment laws only cover protected classes. The authors of The Healthy Workplace Bill (http://www.healthyworkplacebill.org) hope to change that. Since 2003, the bill has been proposed in 17 states, including California, but without success.

Let’s not forget to mention that bullies are extremely expensive. According to the Bureau of National Affairs, American businesses spend up to $6 billion annually on increased absenteeism, presenteeism, turnover, workers compensation claims, health insurance costs and litigation related to bullying. Meanwhile bullies also decrease production, work quality, employee self-esteem, job satisfaction, loyalty, customer satisfaction, company reputation, communication and ultimately the bottom line.

In a civil and positive environment we learn more, innovate more, and produce more. We like our customers more, and we treat them and each other with more respect. We communicate more and come to work more. We are more engaged, loyal and motivated. And if there’s one thing Phoebe taught us, it is that bullying at work should not be ignored anymore.

What does "positive workplace" mean to you?

2010-03-19T09:53:00.000-07:00

We asked this question on LinkedIn, and here were some of our favorite answers...

I think the definition of this phrase is probably as diverse as the collection of individuals in the workplace being discussed... for me personally, it's a place where I am trusted and respected, where my professional growth is supported, and where I have the opportunity to act in kind towards my colleagues.

Community, fun, respect, supportive, flexible, inspiring. I start with community b/c if employees describe their work space as having a sense of community, they feel a sense of belonging, and that triggers engagement and loyalty.

Open-minded, people take and give responsibility, fair, fun, reliable, where your competence is needed and developed

A"no idiots" policy.

New ideas welcome, resources shared according to need, all roles respected (not just your own tribe's!), flexibility based on trust.

Creativity, open communication, friendliness, flexible work hours, intolerance of cattiness.

Open to ideas, trusting, energetic, light 'n airy workspaces, respectful of human beings (not cogs in a machine) coming together to tackle projects, warm, mentoring, see work as a journey toward a goal that makes a difference; work is more than just work... It should be a fun 'n exciting where we r in the zone n in our element, like children with crayons having such a fun day, bright, open, curious n embracing all that's on offer

Respectful, fun, compassionate

'I would like to come back here again and again'

I love coming to work everyday.

You must have freedom to fail to be able to innovate and grow

No egotistical, abusive managers who are protected by upper management and the lawyers in HR (does that sound bitter? :)

Challenges, growth, engaging, stimulating

Optimism, stimulating, open, compassionate, creative, fun, engaging, growth

Invigorating, energizing

Feeling supported by co-workers in a fun, collaborative environment.

Psychologically Healthy Workplace Conference 2010: Building the Business Case for Employee Well-Being

2010-03-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

Up until last week, although compelling evidence was already available, I had to agree that “more research is needed” before we can be fully confident that wellness in the workplace pays off as much in numerical terms as it does in human terms.

But not anymore. The Psychologically Healthy Workplace Conference held in Washington, DC last weekend gave everyone concrete and reliable evidence to make the topic a priority.

The greater focus, persistence, proactivity, enthusiasm and adaptability of the engaged employees leads to significant financial consequences. A 2005 study of 96 companies showed that firms whose score was in the top 25% for engagement enjoyed returns on assets (ROA) 12% higher and profitability 11% higher than firms that scored in the bottom 25% on engagement.

Employees in healthy workplaces miss on average 1.8 fewer days of work each year. If you have 100 employees, 1.8 fewer sick days per employee translates to 180 extra workdays per year, or the equivalent of 36 weeks of work! Few investments will ever give you that kind of return!

Click here to read the rest of the article from Positive Psychology News Daily.

This article is © 2010 PositivePsychologyNews.com. The original article was authored by Marie-Josee Salvas Shaar on March 15, 2010, and can be seen here. Marie-Josee Salvas Shaar, MAPP '07, founded Smarts and Stamina (SaS) to help organizations implement healthy living as part of their business strategy. She combines positive psychology with fitness and nutrition to accelerate personal and professional health and growth.

Teacher writes 'loser' on assignments

2010-03-12T16:22:00.000-08:00

The mother of a sixth-grader says her daughter's teacher is bullying the girl with his notes...

http://news.yahoo.com/video/us-15749625/teacher-writes-loser-on-child-s-assignments-18593231

Here There be Monsters

2010-02-14T15:40:00.000-08:00

Very moving. Take 10 minutes out of your busy day to read...
by William Rivers Pitt, truthout

I have a livid scar in the center of the back of my right hand. It is clearly visible, so I see it every day, and every time I see it, I am reminded of how I got it. One day, several boys in my junior high school class grabbed me and pinned me to the floor. They extended my right arm and held my hand flat to the floor. One of them took out a pencil and began violently rubbing it against the skin of that hand, until the skin broke, until little balls of my flesh stuck to the eraser, until the blood poured.

Keep reading...

Bullying fines deliver a stern message

2010-02-11T15:48:00.000-08:00

Sydney Morning Herald
By PENNY STEVENS
February 9, 2010

A COURT decision yesterday to issue $335,000 in fines arising from workplace behaviour that resulted in a waitress committing suicide highlights the significant risks associated with bullying and harassment in the workplace.

The owner of Cafe Vamp in Hawthorn was one of four workers to plead guilty to failing to take reasonable care for the health and safety of persons.

The owner and his one-man company also pleaded guilty to failing to provide and maintain a safe working environment.

The company was fined $220,000, and magistrate Peter Lauritsen said he would have doubled the penalties had the defendants not pleaded guilty to what he described as ''the most serious case of bullying''.

The decision demonstrates one of the many costs associated with failing to manage bullying and harassment in the workplace appropriately.

According to a recent draft report released by the Productivity Commission, ''psycho-social hazards'' such as bullying and harassment in the workplace tend to be more costly on average than claims for less serious physical injuries, both in relation to direct costs and time taken off work.

The report indicates that an estimated 2.5 million Australians experience some form of bullying over the course of their working lives.

It is reported that a high prevalence of stress (including that caused by bullying) translates into direct costs to employers in Australia of about $10 billion a year, and costs to the economy of about $14.8 billion a year.

Research shows these costs are due to increased absenteeism and the loss of productivity that occurs when employees are present at work but not fully functioning.

The figures do not include hidden costs associated with increased turnover of staff and recruitment and retraining costs, the costs of management dealing with internal complaints, and intangible costs associated with decreased trust, loyalty and staff morale.

Workplace bullying and harassment are not given the same attention in occupational health and safety legislation as managing physical hazards - such as manual handling, working at heights and dangerous substances - and this has led to additional uncertainty being placed on businesses about the extent of their duty of care and how to tackle such hazards.

Eliminating workplace bullying and harassment is an integral part of any employer's organisational OH&S commitments.

The Cafe Vamp decision sends a clear message to employers, company directors and employees that allowing or participating in workplace bullying can lead to tragic results and to criminal charges that carry significant penalties.

Penny Stevens is a partner, specialising in occupational health and safety, with lawyers Hall & Wilcox.

For help or information, visit beyondblue.org.au, or call Suicide Helpline Victoria on 1300 651 251 or Lifeline on 131 114.

Source: The Age

Programming Healthy Habits of Today for Tomorrow

2010-01-19T15:03:00.000-08:00

Dr. Daniel Scott, Author of Verbal Self Defense in the Workplace, wrote this article just for us.

As children we learn new behaviors easily and effortlessly because there is a constant stream of feedback from parents,teachers, friends and family which motivate us to act in a certain way. How it works is quite simple- good feedback makes good feelings and we unconsciously seek to have those feelings more, so we repeat the behavior. Bad feedback makes us feel bad and subsequently we avoid doing that behavior again with the goal of avoiding those bad feelings. Just because we’re adults doesn’t mean our learning patterns change all that much -- we still require positive reinforcement to develop habitual, unconscious behavior patterns.

What does this mean for targets of workplace bullying? As you develop communication skills (both internally; talking to yourself -- and externally; talking to bullies) and learn to handle bullies in ways that work best for you, it’s critical that you follow up any of the new, useful behaviors with positive reinforcement to turn those skills into unconscious habits. One effective way to do that is through “future pacing” using visualization.

Future Pacing

Future pacing means taking the positive experience (or skill) and fully imagining (visualize) yourself doing it in the future. To be as effective as possible in programming your unconscious behavioral patterns, let’s start by having you remember a one-time event where you effectively handled a workplace bullying situation. This event can be one small component (ex. you maintained eye contact) or it can be more general (ex. you easily and effortlessly explained yourself in a calm, controlled manner). Whatever behavior you want to replicate, simply find a one time event when you did it in your past -- preferably in the recent past -- and get a clear picture of it in your mind.

Begin by re-experiencing the event through your own senses -- what did you say, do, feel, etc., when you used that behavior? Imagine going through it all again and, if you want to, add extra components to the visualization that make it even more powerful. An example would be to add in the sound of cheering and applause, or a friend giving you thumbs up, in the background. When you have it the way you want it, stop and really notice your success … specifically, feel it and say something to yourself which confirms that you did good.

Having that feeling in mind, imagine a time in the near future -- like a week from now -- and, this time, see yourself from outside your body doing the behavior in a different situation where you’re dealing with a bully. You are now a witness to the event; really focus on noticing the “you” in the imagined future event doing the behavior and then feeling that awareness of success immediately afterwards (go ahead and put that cheering section in again!). As soon as you’ve done that, go further into the future -- imagine a time a few months from now -- and see yourself doing it again in a different situation. Watch as you successfully use the behavior and feel good about it. Finally, do it again even further in the future -- next year perhaps. Watch yourself easily and effortlessly do the behavior automatically in response to bullying and see yourself feeling great about it!

Click here to keep reading...

Going to Battle with a Bully? Think Post Traumatic Growth

2009-12-28T14:08:00.000-08:00

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is often associated with major life events such as going to war and domestic violence. It includes a list of feelings and behaviors such as high levels of insomnia, apathy, anxiety, depression, aggression, and lack of concentration, to name a few. Although perhaps lacking in the attention it deserves, targets of workplace bullies also experience Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (see Matthiesen & Einarsen, 2004 for more information).

With record numbers of Army soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan suffering from PTSD and committing suicide, Brigadier General Rhonda Cornum came up with an idea. She wanted to know the difference between a soldier who returns from war suffering from PTSD and one who returns stating they have better leadership and decision-making skills. According to Cornum the answer is Post Traumatic Growth (PTG). How you come out of an experience depends on how you go into it.

She figured the Army is sending its soldiers off to war physically prepared – handling a gun, physical fitness, etc. But, they aren’t being mentally prepared.

So with the help of Martin Seligman, the director of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania, the Army is rolling out a new program to build emotional strength. According to him, the difference between PTSD and PTG is optimism. Optimists see setbacks as temporary, and something they have the power to change.

Seligman is also an advocate for the concept of resiliency. Resilient individuals are optimistic and energetic, curious, and demonstrate positive emotionality. Resiliency is about being flexible in stressful experiences and bouncing back when they are over.

What does all this have to do with workplace bullying? Well, if the Army thinks they can help ward of PSTD with PSG, shouldn’t workplace bullying scholars be paying attention?

Ultimately, it's clear that people have very different reactions to workplace bullying. One person might perceive behaviors as bullying, while others are annoyed but do not find themselves so emotionally wrapped up in the aggression. What's the difference between these people? I'm thinking optimism and resiliency has something to do with it.

References:

Matthiesen, S.B., Einarsen,S. (2004). Psychiatric distress and symptoms of PTSD among victims of bullying at work. BRITISH JOURNAL OF GUIDANCE & COUNSELLING, 32(3), 335-356.

New Army program aims for emotional fitness and 'post-traumatic growth', Retrieved December 28, 2009 from: http://blogs.pitch.com/plog/2009/08/new_army_program_aims_for_post.php

The eBossWatch Worst Bosses of 2009

2009-12-28T12:54:00.001-08:00

It's finally here! The eBossWatch Worst Bosses list for 2009!

Click here to read it!

Taming a Type-A Culture Gone Wild

2009-11-25T08:56:00.000-08:00

I found this interesting sort of case study on BNet about Method, the household supply company with the quirky packaging. When their culture went from fun and wierd to mean and angry, the 30-something founders had to make changes. They did so by creating 5 cards that lay out the values of the company, including collaborate, care, innovate - and "keep method wierd" and "what would MacGyver do?"

They also ask interviewees to answer the question, "How would you keep Method wierd?" - a perfect example of an interview question that ensures new hires fit within the corporate culture. This article ultimately provides some great insight into using culture strategically to keep bullies out.

Here's the article... enjoy

San Francisco-based Method is one of those quirky companies where the halls bustle with smart, opinionated hipsters who, compared to most of us, actually love their jobs. Employees conduct meetings while knitting in the “craft pod,” playing ping pong in the Astroturf room, or just sitting in the middle of an open, office-less floor plan and writing their many ideas on whiteboards that span entire walls. The vibrant atmosphere has helped propel the nine-year-old company to more than $100 million in sales and put its laundry detergent, hand soap, and other products onto the shelves of stores like Target, Lowe’s, and Safeway.

But several years ago, after a period of rapid sales growth and frantic hiring, the free flow of ideas started to get a little too free. Arguments were breaking out in the middle of the very public encampment of cubicles. People were hurling insults at each other, and employees who should have been talking with one another weren’t. For a cleaning products company composed of “people against dirty,” things were getting messy.

Click here to read the rest of the article.

Top 10 Tips for Ringing in the Bully-Free New Year

2009-11-24T14:41:00.000-08:00

Workplace bullying is damaging to targets, witnesses and the organization as whole. Targets become depressed and they lose their luster for work. Witnesses lose their loyalty to management. Organizations lose good employees and positive bottom line results.

Meanwhile, organizations that focus on maintaining positive and healthy workplaces have motivated and inspired employees, invest in success, increase retention and reduce turnover, have effective internal communication, demonstrate quality work product and customer service, attract better talent, and minimize costs on workers comp and potential litigation.

That said, here are 10 tips to help your organization have a bully-free 2010:

1. Understand that workplace culture is a business strategy. Strategic culture adjustments can only be made after obtaining buy-in from as many employees as possible. To do this, get them involved in developing a vision of positivity and the corporate policies that back it up. When employees feel included, they are more likely to take heed simply because they are personally invested.

2. Use communication strategically. Leaders and management can use language to deliver a healthy workplace culture, and encourage open discussions and employee empowerment. Develop rituals that applaud interpersonal communication skills, empathy, optimism, conflict resolution and positive attitudes as a part of the routine.

3. Use anti-bully corporate policies as a nail, not as a hammer. I’ve seen a lot of stuff out there claiming the answer to your bully problem is a corporate policy. We can implement policies all day long, but if they don’t have management’s transparent support and employee back up, then who cares. Policies are meant to help the process, but they won’t fix your problem.

4. Use training programs, but they only work if they are backed by performance measurements. Trainings should include topics such as conflict resolution, negotiation, interpersonal communication, assertiveness, empathy, stress management, leadership, optimism and self-examination. Now, just like corporate policies, we can train all day long, but if these programs don’t have performance measurement attached to them then they don’t matter. So expectations regarding proficiency in these areas should be tied to performance and career advancement, and show up in employee goals and awards programs.

To read the rest of this article, click here.

How to create strong bonds in the workplace

2009-11-13T13:37:00.000-08:00

It’s common sense that good relationships with family, friends and co-workers must contribute to psychological health and good work performance. Research now confirms our good sense with scientific evidence and is transforming theoretical models of happiness.

Martin Seligman’s original happiness model focused on three pathways: pleasure, meaning, and flow. Now the importance of positive relationships has been recognized and given a place in the model (although whether they constitute a pillar or a foundation is debatable – read more here).
Small things make a big difference

The theory behind positive relationships in the workplace is quite broad, and includes Dutton and Heaphy’s work on High-Quality Connections. A selection of useful positive psychology based findings on the benefits of strong relationships includes:

■The only difference between the top 10% of happiest people and everyone else is their rich and satisfying social lives.
■People who have a best friend at work are more highly engaged and significantly more likely to engage their customers.
■Social support at work is essential to psychological well-being and increases feelings of personal control at work.
■Expressing gratitude helps develop positive relationships.
■Helping your partner capitalize on good news by responding enthusiastically builds positive relationships.
■Positive emotions are important to organizations: high performing business teams demonstrate a ratio of positivity to negativity of approximately 6:1.
■Positive emotions can undo negative emotions, lead to virtuous circles and build new resources, all of which are important in maintaining good relationships.
■Happiness is infectious therefore your good mood and positive emotions can influence those around you.
■Happy endings are important: people’s memories are influenced by how events turn out so it’s important to try to end on a high note.

What does this mean for you as a manager or leader in an organization? Consider the implications of these theories from a “relationship life cycle” perspective, and ask:

■How can we form positive work relationships, and make sure that they get off to a flying start?
■What do we need to do to develop and maintain positive work relationships over the medium to long term?
■Is there a way of continuing to have positive interactions with former co-workers and bosses, even when the formal work relationship has come to an end?

Building relationships even before you put a foot through the door:

T-Mobile, the UK telecoms company which is owned by Deutsche Telekom AG is developing ways to use new technology to build good relationships. They set up an internet-based social network to enable recent graduates to get to know each other better during the recruitment process, and then to keep in touch once they start work. This has benefited both the company and the graduates themselves. The company retains all the new recruits when normally they would experience some attrition. The graduates have a ready-made support network from their very first day in the office. They settle in faster and can start making a contribution more quickly.

Developing and maintaining strong bonds

As a manager or leader, one of your most important tasks is to get to know your team as individuals. This means finding out what motivates them, practicing active listening and Active Constructive Responding (see top right hand quadrant in Fig 1 below) and expressing your appreciation for what they do. (See the Active Constructive Responding Model in the actual article on Positive Psychology News Daily.)

Here are some other tips and tools:

■Try using a personal profile introduction. This is a simple way to add a human touch to meetings – especially when people don’t know each other well. Rather than go round the table giving your name, role, department or location, try introducing yourself as a person: tell people who you are not what you are – give some personal information about your family, how you spend your spare time when you’re not at work, or even what your favorite music is. I learned a great deal about my own team with this exercise. I discovered that Navin took part in amateur light opera, Christie ran a local youth club, and Declan was an avid hill climber. Knowing these snippets of information makes it much easier to relate to people as people, rather than just as the Financial Accountant, the Sales Executive and the Marketing Director.

■As the leader or manager, you set the emotional tone. Your bad moods will cast a long shadow over the team, so if you’re prone to anxiety, anger or irritation, you might try Emotional Intelligence or meditation training to better regulate your emotions. If you can create an atmosphere of positivity, people will feel more engaged and able to contribute without fear of upsetting the boss.

■Make time to be sociable. Create opportunities to get to know colleagues outside of work, and allow them to get to know you. This could include brown bag lunches, or a trip to the pub after work. A word of warning however: you have to really want to do the social thing: Bob (ironically, a manager of the Corporate Relations Department) would schedule regular times to take his team out for drinks after work. These gatherings were well attended until it slipped out that Bob used his expense account to pay for the drinks. After that, people started giving excuses not to go; when they bought a round of drinks, they didn’t claim it as a work expense. They interpreted Bob’s actions as a sign that he wasn’t spending social time with them for the love of it.

The end of the affair

Until recently, the end of a contract often meant the end of those work relationships. The only reason for getting back in touch with a former employer would be to ask for a reference. Recent advancements in social networking technology has changed how we stay in touch professionally, though few organizations are actually managing relationships with former employees in a structured way.

Some companies taking so-called ‘corporate alumni relations’ seriously include professional services, consulting and high tech firms, such as McKinsey, Deloittes, HP and IBM. All of these companies run highly successful web-based alumni relations programs. Benefits of doing so include:

■More effective talent management in terms of lower cost, and higher quality and reach
■Strengthening their employee corporate culture by increasing trust and loyalty
■Creating new business
■Acquiring knowledge, innovation and market intelligence
■Extending their brand value and influence

There are enormous benefits for the alumni too, including access to job opportunities, professional development and expertise. Those companies which aren’t managing their relationships with their former employees are definitely missing a trick or two.

It’s never been easier to keep up with current and former co-workers and friends, and to make new connections with people all over the globe. It’s possible to track down and keep in touch with people you used to work or go to college/school with –just by googling them, or using networks such as LinkedIn, Facebook and Friends Reunited. There really is no excuse for losing contact with former colleagues, or letting friendships lapse, other than lack of effort.

Two other great resources for creating positive relationships in your workplace are the Appreciative Inquiry model (see here), and Tom Rath’s book “Vital Friends.” In that book, Rath includes the case study of Carolyn, a female plant manager presiding over male-only production lines. The story is a great example of how to build momentum toward transformational change in an organization. Sharing Carolyn’s story could introduce key theories and concepts and highlight the importance of positive relationships. Even small changes can make a big difference to your relationships. ”If it worked with these old blokes” said Carolyn, “it should work for anyone”.

References

Algoe, S.B., Haidt, J. & Gable, S.L. (2008). Beyond reciprocity: Gratitude and relationships in everyday life. Emotion, 8(3), 425-429.

Diener, E. & Seligman, M.E.P. (2002). Very happy people. Psychological Science, 13(1), 81-84.

Dutton, J.E. & Heaphy, E.D. (2003). The power of high-quality connections. In K.S. Cameron, J.E. Dutton & R.E. Quinn (Eds.) Positive organizational scholarship (263-278). San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler Publishers.

Fowler, J., & Christakis, N. (2009). Dynamic spread of happiness in a large social network: Longitudinal analysis over 20 years in the Framingham Heart Study. British Medical Journal, 338 (7685), 1-13.

Fredrickson, B. (2000). Extracting meaning from past affective experiences: The importance of peaks, ends, and specific emotions. Cognition and Emotion, 14(4), 577-606.

Fredrickson, B. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56(3), 218-226.

Fredrickson, B., & Losada, M. (2005). Positive affect and the complex dynamics of human flourishing. American Psychologist, 60(7), 678-686

Gable, S.L., Reis, H.T., Impett, E.A., & Asher, E.R.(2004). What do you do when things go right? The intrapersonal and interpersonal benefits of sharing positive events Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 87(2), 228-245.

Rath, T. (2006).Vital friends: The people you can’t afford to live without. New York: Gallup Press.

Spreitzer, G., Sutcliffe, K., Dutton, J., Sonenshein, S., & Grant, A. (2005). A socially embedded model of thriving at work. Organization Science, 16(5), 537-549.

This article is © 2009 PositivePsychologyNews.com. The original article was authored by Bridget Grenville-Cleave on October 26, 2009, and can be seen here. To join the discussion about this article, click here.

Towards Positive Relationships with Workplace Bullies

2009-11-10T14:20:00.000-08:00

Outcomes of Workplace Bullying
I was a victim of workplace bullying, along with 70% of the American workforce according to Schat and colleagues. After five years of abuse I’d lost much of my self-esteem and desire to go to work. My thirst for success had drained, and only a tattered piece of paper hanging over my alarm clock that said, “Get up!” motivated me – but not very well. After days of showing up late and a major drop in work product and quality, I was asked to leave the organization. As it turns out my experience is no different than most. According to Namie, 70% of victims are asked to leave their company while only 13% of bullies are disciplined by management.

Now, years later, I am still left with an unanswered question. Why me?

Common Response to Bullying
Unfortunately current academic research and main stream thinking in the area of workplace bullying proscribe this sort of thinking. Rayner and colleagues, for example, warn that “assigning targets a positive role” in bullying may remove focus from bullies and the organizations that reward them; and incorrectly allocate responsibility to the victim. Einarsen posits that “the victim is accidentally in a situation where a predator either is demonstrating power or in other ways is trying to exploit an accidental victim.” Interestingly enough, I have even received emails from other “experts” and counselors who claim my ideas are simply not appropriate.

Bullying as Part of a Relationship
All of us absolutely play an active role in any relationship, whether with a bully or an extraordinarily nice co-worker. Ignoring that fact leaves us with no empowering options when attacked by a tyrant. Communication competence, optimism and resiliency all offer opportunities for us to build a more positive relationship with ourselves and the bullies we battle at work. All three can be learned.

Communication Competence
Communication competence is the ability to communicate effectively and appropriately in any given context. That is, a competent communicator has the capacity to get his or her intended point across with messages that are suitable to the situation. During any communication interaction we experience negative (fear) or positive (desire) motivation to actually be competent; and will either posses or lack the knowledge and skills of an adept communicator. The ability to overcome fear is one example, along with assertiveness, facial expressions, appropriate word choice and proficient conflict management. Luckily, competence can be taught.

Optimism
Optimism, a trait that mediates external events and one’s perception of them according to Seligman and Csikszentmihalyi, may also present an opportunity for targets to develop positive relationships at work. Optimism relates to an individual’s explanation of positive and negative events. Peterson links it to perseverance, success, popularity, and positive mood. Fortunately empirical evidence by Kluemper and colleagues indicates that individuals can also learn optimistic values.

Resilience
Finally, resilient individuals are energetic, curious, and experience positive emotions. Resiliency is about being flexible in stressful experiences and bouncing back when they are over. According to the broaden-and-build theory, negative emotions narrow the options of thought-action and result in wanting to escape fearful situations. According to Tugade and Fredrickson, positive emotions broaden the repertoire and expand the range of behavioral options to include more healthy ones. As such, positive emotions can push out negative responses. This is important to people who are or have been bullied at work because they describe the experience as “feeling ‘beaten,’ ‘abused,’ ‘ripped,’ ‘broken,’ ‘scarred,’ and ‘eviscerated” according to Tracy and colleagues. One can assume, however, that a resilient individual will, in contrast, replace these types of self-destructive assessments with more positive assertive ones.

The Tool Shed
Ultimately, development of tools to facilitate a victims’ quest for positive change at work is imperative as the corporate world continues to ignore workplace bullying and the damage it causes both targets and the organization itself. If we fail to acknowledge the active part targets play in an interaction, they remain helpless bystanders in their own lives. Instead, let’s provide the targets of bullying with the tools needed to develop better relationships with their tormenters. Positive psychology is the tool shed.

This article is © 2009 PositivePsychologyNews.com. The original article was authored by Catherine Mattice on November 2, 2009, and can be seen here. To join the discussion about this article, click here.

References
-Einarsen, S. (1999). The nature and causes of bullying at work. International Journal of Manpower, 20, 16-27. Quotation is on page 23.
-Kluemper, D.H., Little, L.M., & DeGroot, T. (2009). State or trait: effects of state optimism on job-related outcomes. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 30, 209-231.
-Namie, G. (2003). Workplace bullying: Escalated incivility. Ivey Business Journal Online, Article # 9B03TF09. Retrieved October 15, 2009, from http://www.iveybusinessjournal.com/view_article.asp?intArticle_ID=449.
-Peterson, C. (2000). The future of optimism. American Psychologist, 55, 44 -55.
-Rayner, C., Sheehan, M., & Barker, M. (1999). Theoretical approaches to the study of bullying at work. International Journal of Manpower, 20, 11-15.
-Schat, A.C.H., Frone, M.R., & Kelloway, E.K. (2006). Prevalence of workplace aggression in the U.S. workforce: Findings from a national study. In E.K. Kelloway, J. Barling & J.J. Hurrell (Eds.), Handbook of workplace violence (pp. 47-89).Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
-Seligman, M.E.P, & Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2000). Positive psychology – An introduction. American Psychologist, 55(1), 5-14.
-Tracy, S.J., Lutgen-Sandvik, P., & Alberts, J.K. (2006). Nightmares, demons and slaves: Exploring the painful metaphors of workplace bullying. Management Communication Quarterly, 20, 148-185. See page 160 for specific reference.
-Tugade, M.M. & Fredrickson, B.L. (2004). Resilient individuals use positive emotions to bounce back from negative emotional experiences. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 86, 320-333.

Beyond Benefits

2009-10-01T17:31:00.000-07:00

You deserve equal benefits in your job. Given. But what is your company doing to truly create a gay-supportive work atmosphere?

Equal benefits are the bedrock of any business espousing true support of its LGBT employees. A transgender man denied access to mental health services under his employer’s insurance, a lesbian mother who can’t get coverage for her partner in a conservative state that doesn’t recognize same-sex unions—these are the commonplace stories that bring inequities into focus.

The Human Rights Campaign’s annual Corporate Equality Index, which has rated private-sector companies on gay-friendly policies since 2002, has gradually evolved its standards to press employers for greater accountability beyond the usual medical, dental, and vision care imperatives. In fact, the new corporate index standards (unveiled earlier this year for implementation in 2011) will now require companies to include other crucial benefits, such as transgender-inclusive health care. Bottom line: Companies seeking to retain their coveted 100% ratings may soon have to work a little harder.

Read the rest of this article from The Advocate here.

Did you miss our webinar?

2009-10-01T13:53:00.000-07:00

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Healthy workplaces go beyond corporate policies: Civility is a business strategy

2009-09-25T00:57:00.000-07:00

I've been reading a lot of online articles lately that claim the answer to your bully problem is the implementation of a corporate policy. Even BusinessWeek is guilty.

We can implement policies all day long, but unless they are in alignment with the organization's overall vision and have leadership buy-in it will be like they don't exist at all. Corporate policies are only as good as management and employee support for them.

That means we must adjust the corporate culture and obtain buy-in from everyone (or at least as many people as possible) before we can create a corporate policy that fits within the new, and nice, way of doing things. If the anti-bully/healthy workplace policy is to be effective, it will decidedly be designed to achieve the newly established vision and culture. (In other words, corporate policies do not adjust corporate culture, but they can be used as a tool in the process.)

One sure fire way to gain employee support is to get them involved in developing the vision of a healthy culture and corresponding policies. If staff helps create the vision, it's easier to hold them accountable to it. And when they feel included in the process, they are more likely to take heed to it anyway simply because they have a vested interest in doing so. In addition, when employees are involved their personal values are involved, thereby individual values and corporate values become one in the same.

Asking departments to develop action plans surrounding the new vision is also useful in obtaining support. Action plans are documented procedures directly related to meeting the new business strategy; and list the actual steps, responsible individual, resources required, measures for success, due date and actual date of completion. For example, a department might decide to perform a specific project as a pointedly collaborative team; tracking their success, how well they work together, and the accountability of each team member. The results would then be reported to management and perhaps the entire organization for accountability.

Appointing organizational champions can also be helpful. Employee assistance professionals, ombudsman, and even plain ol' employees can fill these positions. Organizational champions would then be responsible for ensuring people are treating one another with civility, respect and encouragement. Champions should also be part of the policy roll-out process in order to obtain their full support of these new responsibilities.

So, don't add an anti-bully corporate policy to the policy handbook and expect the bullying behavior to stop. If no one supports it, then who cares. Bullying behavior will stop when the corporate culture doesn't allow that type of behavior to thrive anymore... and that goes way, way beyond anything a corporate policy can do. Adjust the company vision, and then implement a policy in-line with the new way of doing things.

Powerful Questions to Ask at a Job Interview (In Order to Avoid a Workplace Bully)

2009-09-20T10:03:00.000-07:00

Last month, I received a request from a reader to discuss what to say in a job interview if you left your last job because of a bully.

I came across this article by Kathryn Britton, which is a nice second part to that post. It discusses what questions to ask in an interview in order to avoid another toxic workplace.

Janet is about to interview for a new job. She wants to leave a toxic work environment where her boss stands so close when he yells that she can feel his spit hit her face. Her peers rarely greet her, and she feels vaguely in competition with them for opportunities, advancement, maybe even the job itself. She knows that she and her cubicle partner would both be happier and more productive if they swapped some tasks so that both could do what they do best, but she has gotten the message: that’s not the way work gets done here.Janet took that job with high hopes that were soon dashed, and it wasn’t her first experience with unwelcoming work environments. How does she avoid yet another?

This is the dilemma Alan Foster described to an audience of junior and senior leaders in the Wharton program at the University of Pennsylvania. Janet had asked Alan for advice, after observing his good fortune working at Bain & Company. Alan proposed six questions that she could ask in an interview to see what the job environment would really be like.

These questions were so good that I got Alan’s permission to share them on PPND. If you use them, ask potential employers and peers for specific examples so you can figure out what they mean by words like teamwork and collaboration. Do these terms represent strongly held cultural values, or do people just give them lip service?

1. Who will I learn from and how? Is career development outsourced to training companies that know little about the specific environment? Does the company tell employees “You’re responsible for your own career,” avoiding involvement?

Or does the employer have a mentoring culture where more experienced people gracefully accept the responsibility of helping new people develop? Does it have a peer learning model where people are expected to take time to help each other learn? Do managers share the responsibility for career development with employees? Is mentoring ever tipped upside-down so that senior people learn new skills, such as computer proficiency, from younger people?

Jane Dutton describes a related key strategy, task enablement that can involve teaching, designing tasks effectively, advocating, and accommodating individual differences. Some of the references below explore the value of mentoring to the workplace, mentor, and protegé.

2. Who is held up as a hero here? What for? Bandura’s serial dramas are based on the theory that people learn from role models whose behavior they wish to emulate. In similar fashion, workplace culture is conveyed to new members through the stories of its heroes. What behaviors are valued here? Are those behaviors that you wish to emulate?

Are the heroes people who deliver on very aggressive commitments, no matter what — even if people leave their organizations burned out and demoralized? Or are the heroes people well known for collaborating and bringing opposing sides together?

Are heroes always individuals, or are particular teams held up as examples because of the ways they’ve pulled together?

3. How do you resolve conflict here?There will be disagreements in any work environment. So how do they get resolved? Are corrosive, threatening behaviors tolerated? Or are there procedures for giving everybody a voice but coming to agreement, either through explained decision-making or consensus?

Dutton, Frost, Glendinning, Sutton, and others write about corrosive workplaces where bullying is tolerated. According to Pearson, Andersson, and Wegner, people who instigated incivility were three times as likely to have more power than their targets than to be peers or subordinates.

This is the question that Janet most wished that she had asked in her last interview.

4. How willing are people to help each other?Are people pitted against each other in job evaluations so that there is a feeling that helping someone else will put a person at a disadvantage? Or is helping others both valued and expected? How is work divided up? Are people given assignments and expected to complete them by themselves? Justin Berg suggests that the Job Crafting Exercise could be used by a team to divide up work so that people spend more time with tasks that line up with their strengths, motivations, and passions. How much flexibility is there for people to divide work and swap tasks?

5. How do you celebrate what’s working?It is so easy for organizations to focus on problems and negative events and then take victories, large and small, for granted. Gable and colleagues have demonstrated that people get much more benefit out of positive events when they take time to talk them over with trusted others who respond actively and constructively. At an organizational level, do people have an opportunity to capitalize on achievements? Are questions asked that highlight what’s working? Alan mentioned that people in his company became much more willing to fill in employee surveys when the first question changed from “What is going wrong on your project?” to “What is going well on your project?

6. What keeps you going when things get stressful? Fear or a sense of purpose? Competition or comradeship?

Conclusion
By this point, many of you are probably thinking, “Jobs are so tight right now, I won’t have any choice.” Even if that is so, you can go into the job with your eyes open and perhaps with your armor on. But the job market won’t be like this forever. I remember the late 90’s when we couldn’t find people to fill jobs, and those times will come again.

These questions are important, not just for people looking for jobs, but for companies that want to be employers of choice when the job market turns up again. Job environments matter to people. Even now, there are people wondering if they’d rather starve than go to work in their toxic work environments. Whetten and Cameron justify the study of management skills by citing a study that revealed that “one factor—the ability to manage people effectively—was three times more powerful than all other factors combined in accounting for firm financial success over a five-year period!” (p. 6). Wouldn’t it be better if employees felt a deep sense of purpose, inclusion, and celebration at work so that they want to stay, even when economic times improve?

This article is © 2009 PositivePsychologyNews.com. The original article was authored by Kathryn Britton on April 7, 2009, and can be seen here. To join the discussion about this article, click here.

References
Aguilera, M. B. (2002). The impact of social capital on labor force participation: Evidence from the 2000 Social Capital Benchmark Survey. Social Science Quarterly, 83(3),, 853-874.Berg, J., Dutton, J., & Wrzesniewski, A. (2008). Job Crafting Exercise.Dutton, J. (2003). Energize Your Workplace: How to Create and Sustain High-Quality Connections at Work. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.Feeney, M. & Bozeman, B. (2008). Mentoring and network ties. Human Relations, 61(12), 1651-1676.Fisher-Blando, J. (2008). Workplace bullying: Aggressive behavior and its effect on job satisfaction and productivity. Dissertation, University of Phoenix. Dissertation Abstracts International Section A: Humanities and Social Sciences Vol 69(4-A), pp. 1283.Gable, S.L., Reis, H.T., Impett, E.A., & Asher, E.R. (2004). What do you do when things go right? The intrapersonal and interpersonal benefits of sharing positive events. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 87,, 228-245.Gentry, W., Weber, T. J. & Sadri, G. (2008). Examining career-related mentoring and managerial performance across cultures: A multilevel analysis. Journal of Vocational Behavior. Vol 72(2), pp. 241-253.Glendinning, P. (2001). Workplace bullying: Curing the cancer of the American workplace. Public Personnel Management, 30(3), 269-286.Horvath, M., Wasko, L. & Bradley, J. (2008). The effect of formal mentoring program characteristics on organizational attraction. Human Resource Development Quarterly, 19(4), 323-349.O’Neill, R. (2005). An examination of organizational predictors of mentoring functions. Journal of Managerial Issues, 17(4), 439-460.Pearson, C., Anderson, L. & Wegner, J. W. (2001). When workers flout convention: A study of workplace incivility. Human Relations, 54, 1387-1419.Smith, D. (2002). The theory heard ’round the world: Albert Bandura’s social cognitive theory is the foundation of television and radio shows that have changed the lives of millions.Sutton, R. (2007). The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t. Business Plus.Whetten, D. & Cameron, K. (2007). Developing Management Skills , 7th edition. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson, Prentice-Hall.

Flourishing in the Paradox of the Positive

2009-09-09T18:47:00.000-07:00

By Robert Quinn

I was recently invited to run a retreat for a business school in another part of the country. I was to make a presentation and organize a series of exercises that would help the people design their future. A year ago one of my colleagues played the same role with this group. During his day he made an extensive presentation of empirical findings from POS. He also presented tools they could use to apply the principles he taught.

As I visited with people it was clear that they were very impressed with the previous presentation. One professor told me he was intellectually “awed” by it.
Yet it was also clear that few of the POS tools or suggestions had actually been applied. It had been a tough economic year and there were also some conflicts going on in the organization. While some good things had happened, few seemed to be connected with the application of POS.

As I considered the tension in the organization and the fact that there was relatively little application from the previous year, I became increasingly apprehensive about what I was supposed to do. I was to go on in 30 minutes. I felt fear and a knot began to form in my stomach.

Positive Emotions

As I sat there I thought of the research by Barbara Fredrickson. Her work demonstrates the importance of positive emotions. Positive emotions:

• Lead to thoughts that are unusual, flexible, integrative and efficient.

•Broaden visual attention, increase bonding, help regulate negative arousal, improve coping with adversity, increase the likelihood of finding positive meaning in negative events and facilitate the development of plans and goals.

•Increase the likelihood that we are able to play, to explore, envision the future, savor experience and integrate new views into the self.

She states that, “Positive emotions transform individuals into more resilient, socially integrated, and capable versions of themselves.” [1]

Organizations

For people in organizations this claim is particularly important. She indicates that positive emotions are contagious and spread through groups and organizations. Positive emotions give rise to sequences of events that create new meaning. Such changes can reduce conflict and give rise to more integrity, trust, vision and creative mutual support. The culture can become more compassionate and creative and can take the group or organization to a more optimal level of functioning.

Click here to read the entire article.

I thought this part was particularly of use in dealing with workplace bullies:

“Positive emotions transform individuals into more resilient, socially integrated, and capable versions of themselves.” As we apply principles that cause of us to feel more positive, authentic and courageous, we then engage in more positive, authentic and courageous acts. We thus become emotionally contagious in that we inspire more positive, authentic and courageous feelings and action in others. They then do things that inspire us and our relationships become a virtuous cycle. As we live in such a virtuous cycle, we flourish in the paradox of the positive.

6 steps to creating a healthy workplace, saving your bottom line

2009-09-09T16:25:00.001-07:00

A study published in the Handbook of Workplace Violence (2006) indicated more than 70% of employees are victimized by a bully at work. Bullies use ongoing negative, aggressive, unprofessional, inappropriate and hurtful tactics against subordinates, peers and even superiors; creating a power imbalance and inviting serious damaging consequences to targets, witnesses and organizations.

Targets experience distress, humiliation, anger, anxiety, discouragement, hopelessness, depression, burnout, reduced quality and quantity of work, lower levels of job satisfaction, increased absenteeism and turnover and in some cases even Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

In turn, a single American business could spend thousands, if not millions, in absenteeism and turnover, workers' compensation claims due to stress, reduced quality and quantity of work, lower levels of job satisfaction, communication breakdown and even a bad reputation within the community.

Bullying is not a simple case of a bad behaving employee. It is a systemic problem caused by many organizational factors, including the organization's culture, changes (e.g., downsizing) and bureaucratic management styles.
Identifying, fixing and preventing bullying can make the difference between a successful organization and one that fails. For example, companies that openly promote civility among employees earn 30 percent more revenue than competitors, are four times more likely to have highly engaged employees and are 20 percent more likely to report reduced turnover, according to a study conducted by Watson Wyatt in 2003.

Here are six keys to successful implementation of a healthy, and bully-free, workplace.

1. Use internal communication strategically. Organizational success depends on a climate of fairness and supportiveness; where members are listening and being sensitive to one another's needs and aware of how comments might be perceived by others. Leaders and management can use language to deliver a healthy culture and encourage open discussions and employee empowerment. Developing rituals and employee reward systems that applaud interpersonal communication skills and compensate positive attitudes will solidify management's intentions.

2. Perform periodic audits of internal processes. Audits offer a comprehensive review of communication patterns that provide information about the structure of the organization, effectiveness of communication, and employee support for the organization, leaders, superiors and each other. This facilitates strategic planning and learning the success with which internal information is conveyed, and of course detects whether some employees feel others are bullies (or bottlenecks, buck-passers, know-it-alls, chronic complainers). Outside consultants are the most effective people to conduct the audit because organizational members often say things to external auditors that they would not say to internal auditors.

3. Roll out an anti-bully policy. An anti-workplace bully prevention policy must be implemented and include management's commitment to a healthy workplace, a definition of bullying, management and employee responsibilities for maintaining the policy, a training program schedule and a formal grievance procedure that includes investigation of complaints and appropriate disciplinary actions. The policy should also stress the importance of written documentation from all parties involved in any complaints; including target(s), bullies, witnesses and investigators. Of course, the policy is only as effective as management's commitment to it.

4. Conduct management and employee training. Establish training programs for all levels to occur during new hire training and at scheduled intervals thereafter. At the very least, training should remind employees and managers that they have a responsibility to contribute to achieving a healthy and civil work environment that does not tolerate bullying. Offering conflict management and leadership skills training will complement these trainings nicely.

5. Take grievances seriously and investigate them immediately. When a grievance is filed, the target should present written documentation and precise details of each incident of bullying. Human resources should follow appropriate disciplinary procedures as laid out in the policy, and is encouraged to continue to keep the situation under review.

6. Use 360-degree reviews. A 360-degree review provides every organizational member with reviews from everyone they work with, including peers, managers and subordinates. This provides an avenue for managers to learn from the people they direct, rather than only those who direct them. If done right, 360-degree reviews receive high employee involvement, have the strongest impact on behavior and performance, and greatly increase effective internal communication.

Bottom Line
By addressing workplace bullying and developing techniques for sustainable change, you can increase employee retention and reduce turnover, reduce absenteeism and medical leaves, manage and leverage organizational brand, motivate, inspire and develop staff, minimize workplace politics, improve communication among staff and managers, protect your company's reputation, increase the quality and quantity of work product, improve community awareness, reduce workplace stress, and improve the health of employees and your organization.

On a final note, be weary of the anti-workplace bully law in our midst. David Yamada, a professor at Suffolk University, wrote the Healthy Workplace Bill that has been under review in 15 states, including California in 2003. Only the government of Ireland (since as early as 1997), and the province of Quebec, Canada (since 2003), currently have specific laws against the act of bullying at work, but all that is soon to change.

Reference:
Schat, A.C.H., Frone, M.R., & Kelloway, E.K. (2006). Prevalence of workplace aggression in the U.S. workforce: Findings from a national study. In E.K. Kelloway, J. Barling & J.J. Hurrell (Eds.), Handbook of workplace violence (pp. 47-89).Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

Dear Reader

2009-08-31T21:06:00.000-07:00

I received the following email from a blog reader. I thought I'd post my response for anyone interested in empowerment.

I need advice on how to deal with jealous bullies who will not respect personal space. I have no tolerance as I have tried to be nice and assertive but they are thick and stupid and as a result I snapped and told one to f%^& off.
How does one tolerate and be assertive when it is constantly ignored?

Dear Reader,

I am going to say some things that you may or may not like, but I feel that I need to be real and honest with you here. It is clear based on the tone of your email that you are extremely frustrated with the situation you have found yourself in. I’m certain most people respond to your question with empathy, and sympathy even. I on the other hand, am going to give you advice that might be a little hard to swallow at first.

Bullies have one motivation – to overpower you.

So take a look at yourself. This is hard. It’s hard to look at ourselves when we feel attacked by someone else. But you cannot control what others do. You can, however, learn to control your own reactions.

In order to do that, you will first need to acknowledge that while you don’t deserve to be treated this way you have indeed allowed the bully to push your buttons. Ask yourself why. Why is this person pushing your buttons? Why do you let him or her push your buttons? After all, you are in control of your own buttons aren’t you?

Next, think about your reaction to the bully. What are you communicating by doing things like using foul language? In addition, be aware of your nonverbal behavior when you are in the same room with the bully. What does your nonverbal communication say? Are you being proactive by standing with your head held high and your confidence-cap on? Or are you being reactive by blurting out unprofessional words?

Once you’ve been able to identify what part you play in the interaction with the bully, think about how you help the bully meet his or her goals. Again, the bully’s goal here is to overpower you. So how do you help the bully meet that goal? The answer is certainly not “nothing” – you are definitely doing “something”. What is it?? Once you figure that out, you can change your behavior accordingly.

Finally, you’ll need to find a way to detach yourself from these emotions you are feeling. Remember, nobody makes you feel anything – feelings are a choice. They are your choice.

You are not an innocent passerby in your own life. You absolutely have the power to change your situation. Change is a choice. Feelings and emotions are a choice. Your response to the bully is a choice. Choose wisely. The bully is playing mental games with you and you have the mental capacity to win this war. I know you do.

And, if in the end, you can’t seem to get past your anger, then it’s time to leave. Your dignity is worth way more than anything your employer is paying you.

Regaining Productivity Lost to Workplace Bullying and Abuse

2009-08-23T12:50:00.000-07:00

By Hugh Kingsley

In respectful workplaces, employees are more productive because they are more focused in their work. In non-respectful workplaces, the employees’ productivity may suffer as they become distracted by job security, personal financial issues, and the emotional symptoms associated with bullying and abuse. This article introduces a game to help avoid workplace bullying.

DURING an economic downturn when organizations are forced to restructure in order to survive and grow, it is easy to lose sight of the human side of change. Imposed change can lead to a dramatic increase in workplace bullying and abuse as employees become fearful of job security and changes to their job descriptions. When organisations are looking for cost savings, it would be disappointing to see those cost savings lost to the costly negative effects of workplace bullying and abuse.

A study by the United States Bureau of National Affairs concluded that the loss in productivity due to workplace bullying is five- to six-billion United States dollars a year, and a study in the United Kingdom put the number in that country at 1.3-billion pounds.

Instead, organisations could look to increasing productivity and generating competitive edge by developing respectful workplaces. These are workplaces where employees look forward to coming to work and performing the duties they are paid to do.

In respectful workplaces, employees can be more productive because they are more focused in their work. In non-respectful workplaces, the employees’ productivity is likely to suffer as they become distracted by job security, personal financial issues, and the physical and emotional symptoms associated with bullying and abuse.

This article presents a case for reducing workplace bullying and abuse through positive intervention utilising game-play and "The Respectful Workplace Game", which teaches and promotes workplace respect. Game-play is shown to be an excellent method for addressing bullying and abuse in the workplace because it offers exceptional learning transfer, is non-confrontational, non-threatening, and is cost effective.

To read the rest of the article, click here.

One rude worker poisons a whole office, study finds

2009-08-23T10:00:00.000-07:00

OTTAWA — Rudeness aimed at just one person can spread its damage “like fire” through a workplace, causing large numbers of workers to do a lousy job and even harbour dark, murderous thoughts.

Psychologists knew a blast of rudeness would distract the immediate victim. But second-hand rudeness?

Witnesses to rudeness also suffer a loss of cognitive powers and the ability to be creative, says a study by Amir Erez, a psychologist at the University of Florida’s school of management.

It’s just bad business, he says: One toxic employee can poison a whole office with a few angry outbursts and four-letter words.

“Managers should be very concerned because the negative consequences of rudeness on the job are not limited to the person who happens to be the victim,” he said. “If five other people are watching, the effects are going to spill over into the rest of the organization.”

Three separate experiments all confirmed the same effect.

The psychologists gathered volunteers to do cognitive tests (rearranging scrambled letters to form words) and a creative test (thinking of unusual uses for a brick).

The person supervising the test was rude to one volunteer who was secretly part of the plan. “What are you, stupid? Get on with it!” he snapped, and called the volunteer unfit to hold a job in the “real world.”

After this, the rest of the volunteers had trouble unscrambling words and thinking of creative uses for a brick.

Worse, their dark sides took over.

One of the scrambled words was “demure,” but several volunteers rearranged the letters to spell “murder” — even though the letters weren’t quite right. And the new ways to use brick? “Kill people,” one suggested. Trip someone, said another. Throw it through a window, or beat people up, said others. And as they thought about attacking people, they came up with fewer useful ideas.

Their short-term memories also suffered. They were less likely to help with teamwork.

All this stunned Erez, though now that he has published the results, everyone he talks to says: Sure, I’ve seen that happen at work.

“Everybody recognizes that it happens all the time,” he said.

He calls the results “very, very disturbing because it means they (people who witness rudeness) are being hostile themselves, and they’re not aware of it. Which means it can spread like fire. They watch as somebody is rude, and they themselves are primed to be rude.

“It affects mostly the ability to do complex tasks. And in the modern organization, that is what people do. They need to do complex problems; they need to be creative.”

The study is published in a research journal, Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes.

Erez is moving on to the retail world, measuring how rude customers damage a worker’s ability to count money, react quickly and remember a customer’s order.

“This all surprised me, because I thought the effects would all be emotional,” he said. “But pretty much, it’s cognitive.”

Why is it always about you?

2009-08-15T20:01:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading the book, Why Is It Always About You? by Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW, and it is a great book. Highly recommended.

Below are some excerpts. Go forth and feel empowered to change your situation.

Our number one tool for dealing with the Narcissist is to examine our own experiences and recognize how our reactions contribute to our discomfort. The goal is to understand what is happening and interrupt the process to protect ourselves (pg. 62).

Narcissists constantly dump – or project – unwanted parts of themselves onto other people. They then begin to behave as if others posses these unwanted pieces of themselves, and they may even succeed in getting others to feel as if they actually have those traits or feelings. What it means is that you end up being treated like the dirt they’ve brushed off their own psyches, or feeling the anger, the vulnerability, and the worthlessness that they cannot tolerate in themselves. They lob onto you, you suck it in, and for an icky while, it’s yours (pg. 64).

You cannot control what others do, but you can learn to contain your own reactions once you understand what is going on. Understanding where your feelings originally came from and accepting them as your own is the first step in protecting yourself against the toxic effects of narcissism. When you become comfortable with your own feelings, you will be able to deflect the shame that is triggered by the Narcissist.

Guidelines for Survival

1. Be aware of your feelings when in the company of someone who repeatedly evokes shame, discomfort, anger… These feelings can be excellent indicators you are in the presence of a Narcissist. Once you have recognized whom you are dealing with, you will be in a better position to defend yourself.

2. When you have uncomfortable or intense feelings in the presence of a Narcissist, ask yourself what buttons of yours are being pushed. Remember times past when you have felt this way and, from this more emotionally distant perspective, consider why you respond as you do. Don’t be afraid to look at your own narcissistic vulnerabilities, because this is exactly what will make you stronger.

3. Once you’re pretty sure you’ve identified the piece of the action that is yours, think about how your feelings help the Narcissist manage shame in some way. Try not to personalize what is happening. Although it couldn’t feel more personal, it really is not. You are just a means to an end.

4. You need to find a way to detach from the feeling of diminishment the Narcissist evokes in you. Sometimes if helps to think of this person as being two years old on the inside.

5. When deflecting the shame projected by the Narcissist, resist the urge to retaliate. Don’t try to challenge or enlighten this person either. The Narcissist has a lot at stake in keeping unconscious processes unconscious. If you try to tamper with this, you may escalate the situation to your own detriment or discomfort.

6. It needs to be enough for you to know that you have put the projections back where they belong in your own mind, regardless of how the Narcissist sees the situation. If you have trouble letting that be enough, you may need more personalized assistance to work on this in greater depth. A competent therapist can help.

Invite to attend our complimentary webinar

2009-08-12T10:05:00.000-07:00

COMPLIMENTARY WEBINAR:
Create a Healthy Workplace: Understand Workplace Bullying & Combat the Damage They Cause
September 17, 2009
9 am – 10 am PST
Cost: $0
Obtain more information and register at http://budurl.com/q8kp

Learning Objectives:
•An understanding of workplace bullying, damage caused to targets and the organization, and why it’s legal
•Insight on bullies’ and their targets
•Knowledge in the system of bullying and why it happens at work
•Knowledge in how to determine how much a bully is costing the organization
•Techniques for dealing with the bully on an interpersonal level
•Techniques for a sustainable organizational culture shift

Who Should Attend: Human resource professionals, workplace learning and performance professionals, business owners, managers, team leaders, supervisors, coaches, EAP’s, union leaders and representatives, conflict management professionals and consultants.

In Partnership with The Vianova Group

National Bullying Helpline campaign will continue

2009-08-10T14:03:00.000-07:00

Personneltoday.com
Mike Berry
10 August 2009

The National Bullying Helpline has said it will continue to spearhead anti-bullying awareness campaigns following the closure of fellow charity The Andrea Adams Trust due to lack of funding.

The Andrea Adams Trust shut last month after its funding arrangements became unsustainable. The trust said it was forced to scrap a £65,000-a-year national awarness campaign to ban bullying at work after some of the UK's largest companies ignored pleas to provide funding.

But The National Bullying Helpline charity insisted National Ban Bullying day on 7 November and National Ban Bullying week commencing 16 November, would proceed.

Christine Pratt, chief executive and founder of The National Bullying Helpline, said: "Just because The Andrea Adams Trust has failed to secure funding does not mean this is an end to the national ban bullying campaigns across the UK in November each year - in memory of the late Andrea Adams and the late Tim Field who were the first two pioneers who campaigned against workplace bullying."

What to say in an interview when you left your last job because of a bully

2009-08-09T11:00:00.000-07:00

I received the following question from one of my readers. I thought it was a great question so I'm sharing it with you.

I quit my job because I was bullied. Before I did though, I wrote the owners a letter describing my experience with my supervisor and they put her on warning. There is some satisfaction there, but I still could no longer work for her. I need to know what to say in a interview about the experience. Can you help?

Julie,

As a former HR professional I can tell you that interviewers are always looking for a few things, no matter what position and no matter what industry. Those things are:

* that you can demonstrate you have initiative and company loyalty
* you are solution-oriented and forward thinking (that means when you have a problem, you attempt to find a solution before bringing the problem to your manager)
* you have a long list of accomplishments, rather than job tasks, to share during the interview and on your resume
* you can work in a team

During the entire interview you should be focusing on these four things. Every answer you give should provide proof that you hold these credentials. This is important because if you can prove you have initiative, are solution-oriented, are goal oriented (can achieve things), and can work in a team, what happened at your last employer won't really matter to the prospective employer because you'll make a good looking candidate.

Now comes the part during the interview where they ask about why you left your previous employer. There are a few ways you can handle it.

The first is to simply say that you weren’t receiving growth opportunities and needed to move on. This is not a very informative answer and may lead to more probing from the interviewer. It could also communicate that you are hiding something or holding back. Not good.

The second option is to provide some other reason un-related to the bully. This is unethical however, and therefore not a desired response either.

The third choice is a bit more intricate, but it demonstrates you meet the four universal criteria for a potential employee, and above all shows that you are honest. You didn't provide details of your own abuse at your previous employer, so I don't know your particular situation, but here's an example of how you might answer the question: Can you tell me why you left your previous organization?

I am a go-getter. I really like opportunities to do new projects and learn new things, and unfortunately my previous employer wasn't offering those types of opportunities to me anymore (demonstrates initiative).

For example, during my first year at the organization I developed a new procedure for handling, documenting and tracking customer complaints; conceived and was responsible for the internal company newsletter; and created and managed a file clerk position (demonstrates accomplishments). After awhile, however, these opportunities to contribute positively to the organization seemed to get taken away by one manager in particular.

I really believe I put effort into resolving this manager’s and my differences directly. I enjoyed my job and working for the company, and of course I wanted to be sure I was getting along with my manager (demonstrates you are a team player). When talking with the manager about our relationship didn’t seem to work I spoke to the company owners about it (demonstrates initiative and that you are solution-oriented). I suggested to them that I move teams so our relationship didn't get in the way of production and customer service (demonstrates company loyalty).

Unfortunately, the owners didn't seem to think this person's behavior was all that bad and only put her on warning for her behavior once I’d left the company. But, ultimately, while I got along with everyone else at the organization (demonstrates you are a team player) this particular individual really made working for that organization difficult and I decided leaving was my best option.

In my current job search I am really looking for an organization that appreciates and even praises initiative and hard work, because those are two of my best qualities (demonstrates initiative).

There are a few other things I’d like to add here.

It is ALWAYS a good idea to avoid bad mouthing your previous employer. Your response to the question about why you left must be polite, eloquent and honest. Talk around any negative feelings you have about the company and the bully, the new employer doesn’t need to hear it. And, they’ll wonder what will happen if they rub you the wrong way and you leave – are you going to bad mouth them too?

Second, always, always, always make a point of building rapport with the interviewer from the time you meet and shake hands. The interview should flow more like a conversation than an interview, and if it does, then you know you have built rapport. You can do this by being relaxed and conversational, and by asking the interviewer questions about themselves. If you spot a picture on his or her desk from Lake Tahoe, for example, mention that you’ve always wanted to go there and ask him or her how the trip was.

Also, mirror the interviewer’s body language slightly. This builds a subconscious liking for you because you seem similar to the interviewer – something we look for in everyone we meet. If he takes a sip of water, you take a sip of water. If she crosses her legs, you cross yours. Don’t be a copy cat, obviously, but follow along every once in a while.

If you build rapport with interviewers then they will find you to be a positive person that they like, and one that couldn’t possibly be responsible for what happened at the last company.

GreatPlaceJobs Q2 Employment Study: Great Workplaces Continue to Outperform and Weather the Recession Better

2009-08-03T16:23:00.000-07:00

GreatPlaceJobs is excited to share the updated results from our ground-breaking study comparing layoff trends between top-rated and other Fortune 100 companies. The new findings, which consist of data from the first half of 2009, continue to clearly demonstrate that the biggest employers are not necessarily the best.

The study shows that the nation’s largest companies conducted layoffs at a rate of almost twice that of a group of companies recognized as great workplaces. Only 44% of excellent employers laid off workers from the beginning of 2008, while a shocking 86% of the Fortune 100 companies have laid off employees in the past year and a half.

The revenue growth rate at great workplace companies in Q1 2009 was 2.3% better than the rest of the Fortune 100, and the average stock price of the excellent employers was 1.1% higher as of June 30, 2009 (compared to January 1, 2009) than typical Fortune 100 companies.

“Despite the fact that the award-winning employers have also been hurt by the current recession, most remain committed and loyal to their employees and have not included layoffs in their cost-cutting actions,” said Miriam Salpeter, co-founder of GreatPlaceJobs. “I always advise my job-seeking clients to focus on identifying an organization to target, and this new information further confirms the fact that great workplaces, such as those who post opportunities on GreatPlaceJobs, are a terrific choice.”

The GreatPlaceJobs Great Workplace Employment Study compared the employment, financial and operating data of the Fortune 100’s largest U.S. companies with the Fortune 100 Best Companies to Work For. Though both groups suffered lower revenue levels in Q1 2009 compared to Q1 2008, the average year-over-year revenue growth rate in Q1 2009 was 2.3% better at the great workplace companies. The excellent employers saw their Q1 2009 revenues decline by 7.1% from the previous year’s quarterly revenues, while revenues at the Fortune 100 largest companies decreased by 9.4% from Q1 2008.

A clear sign of the great employers’ competitive advantage and resilience is evident in the fact that nine of the Fortune 100 largest companies from 2008 filed for bankruptcy or were bailed out by the U.S. government in 2008, while none of the great workplace companies failed on this magnitude.
____________________________________
A complete copy of the GreatPlaceJobs Great Workplace Employment Study and additional information about the methodology may be requested via email: contact@greatplacejobs.com. For more information about GreatPlaceJobs, visit http://noworkplacebullies.greatplacejobs.com/. To receive regular updates about new and interesting data and reports, visit and/or subscribe to the GreatPlaceJobs blog (http://www.greatplacejobs.com/blog) and follow us on Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/GreatPlaceJobs).

About GreatPlaceJobs
GreatPlaceJobs offers the largest collection of job listings exclusively from award-winning companies that have been recognized as “great workplaces.” The database currently includes tens of thousands of open jobs from excellent employers from across the U.S. GreatPlaceJobs offers job seekers both free and premium subscriptions to its database of job listings.

Using Powerful Words to Regain Power

2009-07-31T13:59:00.000-07:00

In his book, The Articulate Executive in Action, Granville Toogood discusses the use of something he calls CVA (communications value added). The rule of CVA is this: what you say and how you say it can determine your success. Once you get the hang of it, it can become your greatest asset.

Practitioners of CVA use the hi-C's: concept, conviction, clarity, candor, credibility, character, coolness, concentration, color, competence, crispness, civility, consistency, continuity, creativity, cohesion, caring and communication. In contrast, those who lack CVA may exhibit emptiness, uncertainty, fuzziness, doubt, fear, absentmindedness, drabness, blather, indifference, and alienation.

Users of CVA speak to "primal mind" - that gut reaction in people. In other words, be innovative; find an opportunity to offer something beneficial to the company, save the company thousands (if not millions) of dollars, or improve productivity; and march right into the next meeting and tell everyone at the table what it takes to make this thing happen. Muscular language has a lot more impact than abstract explanations about your plan.

And finally, use powerful words. Here are some examples.
Say:
cut instead of reduce
slash instead of lower
keep instead of maintain
yet instead of nevertheless
so instead of therefore
but instead of however
grab instead of acquire
strike instead of delete
give instead of donate
big instead of significant
hot instead of fashionable
launch instead of implement

And most of all, don't let that bully steal your confidence away!

Why bullying happens at work: Transforming research with a transactional model

2009-07-27T18:42:00.000-07:00

Today’s workers face the costs of insecurity and incivility. Indeed, an abundance of research indicates bullying is prevalent in the workplace and invites serious damaging consequences for victims, observers, and the organization – including depression, reduced quality of work, increased absenteeism and turnover, and resulting loss to the bottom line.

Scholars agree that bullying is caused by a variety of factors working together that ultimately include organizational factors, and target and bully personality and predisposition. Relatively few models however, have addressed the role targets play in the process of bullying and most even advise against taking such perspectives. For example, Einarsen (1999) posits that “the victim is accidentally in a situation where a predator either is demonstrating power or in other ways is trying to exploit an accidental victim” (p. 23). Leymann (1992, 1996) notes that victim personality is irrelevant and that work conditions are the primary cause of aggression. Rayner, Sheehan and Barker (1999) warn that designating targets a role in the process of bullying may remove focus from bullies and the organizations that reward them; and incorrectly allocate responsibility to the victim. Salin (2003) purports that the individual and organization exert influence on each other thereby eradicating the victim of any role in the process of bullying at work.

Certainly blaming victims is unprincipled, but ignoring the active role they play in a relationship with a co-worker is erroneous and precludes victims from taking empowering action against their abusers.

We need a fresh and more realistic view than current scholarship offers and should explore bullying as an ongoing relationship and communication transaction rather than a one-sided exchange. Organizational norms and stressors, culture, and colleagues are ongoing factors in the process of bullying rather than antecedents.

As businesses continue to ignore the problem of bullying at work, it becomes particularly important that we arm victims with the resources needed to successfully maneuver through work. Counseling (read: reactive) is not the answer, communication competence is (read: proactive). But we cannot provide these tools without a more ingenuous understanding of the phenomenon - and one that advocates victim accountability and empowerment. This provides the opportunity to develop tools to facilitate a victims’ own quest for positive change at work.

Otherwise, the victim remains a helpless passerby in his or her own life.

Common Management Mistakes in Dealing with a Bully

2009-07-23T21:50:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, the organizational response to bullying behavior is fairly predictable and not always on target. Following are some typical management mistakes encountered when dealing with a bully at work (Namie & Namie, 2000; Hornstein, 1996):

• Management often seeks to appease the bully by assuming that his or her
aggressive behavior will cease when the bully is given what he or she desires. This often results in a short-term elimination of the behavior, but the bully usually resumes and sometimes escalates the aggression when he or she wants something else.

• Management often blames both of the parties involved in the situation, with the target being blamed for not getting along with the bully. Usually there is no
credence given to the possibility that the bully may be purely to blame.

• Sometimes management will blame only the target in an effort to stop the target from complaining. As a result, the target is made to suffer twice—once at the hands of the bully and once at the hands of management.

• Management may mistakenly believe that the problems will go away if the bully’s behaviour is ignored—if this is the response, the bully goes unpunished and is likely to escalate his or her aggressive behaviors since there is no logical reason to cease and desist.

• Managers will often emphasize teamwork and ignore individual effort. This strategy makes it easy for the bully to accuse the target of “not being a team player.”

• Believing the group means taking the word of multiple employees over that of the target. With this response, the assumption is that the majority is always right; however, the group may be lying about the target or acting out of fear or
ignorance. The manager may take this approach because it is easier to discipline one employee than to take a stand against multiple employees.

• Stereotyping often skews management’s judgment, and prejudices are prevalent in the workplace despite corporate policies to the contrary. Less overt forms of discrimination are often practiced based on common stereotypes (e.g., women are weaker, men are tougher, etc.).

“Bullying is the sexual harassment of 20 years ago; everybody knows about it, but nobody wants to admit it”.

- Lewis Maltby (Russell, 2001)

This is an excerpt from a white paper by the Society for Human Resources Management entitled Bullies in the Workplace: A Focus on the "Abusive Disrespect" of Employees by Teresa A. Daniel (2006). I don't have the link to post here, but am happy to send the white paper to anyone who requests it. Please email me at contact@catherinemattice.com.

Building Self-Confidence

2009-07-12T23:53:00.000-07:00

Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality — the more self confidence you have, the more likely it is you’ll succeed.

Although many of the factors affecting self confidence are beyond your control, there are a number of things you can consciously do to build self confidence. By using these 10 strategies you can get the mental edge you need to reach your potential.

Build Self Confidence

1. Dress Sharp
Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.

This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.

2. Walk Faster
One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.

3. Good Posture
Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

4. Personal Commercial
One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.

5. Gratitude
When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.

6. Compliment other people
When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

7. Sit in the front rowIn schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.

8. Speak up
During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

9. Work out
Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.

10. Focus on contribution
Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.

Bullying may be more harmful than sexual harassment

2009-07-09T14:56:00.000-07:00

Workplace bullying, such as belittling comments, persistent criticism of work and withholding resources, appears to inflict more harm on employees than sexual harassment, say researchers at the “Seventh International Conference on Work, Stress and Health.”

“As sexual harassment becomes less acceptable in society, organizations may be more attuned to helping victims, who may therefore find it easier to cope,” said lead author M. Sandy Hershcovis, PhD, of the University of Manitoba. “In contrast, non-violent forms of workplace aggression such as incivility and bullying are not illegal, leaving victims to fend for themselves.”

Both bullying and sexual harassment can create negative work environments and unhealthy consequences for employees, but the researchers found that workplace aggression has more severe consequences. Employees who experienced bullying, incivility or interpersonal conflict (86 of 128 participants) were more likely to quit their jobs, have lower well-being, be less satisfied with their jobs and have less satisfying relations with their bosses than employees who were sexually harassed (46 of 128 participants). Furthermore, bullied employees reported more job stress, less job commitment and higher levels of anger and anxiety.

“Bullying is often more subtle, and may include behaviors that do not appear obvious to others,” said Hershcovis. “The insidious nature of these behaviors makes them difficult to deal with and sanction.”

Bullying is not new

2009-07-09T00:51:00.000-07:00

The idea that bullies exist at work is not a new one; articles and workshops on “dealing with difficult people” and “mean bosses” are abundant. However, “bullying” only recently became of interest to social scientists in the areas of organizational psychology and business management within the last 15 years, and within organizational communication within the last five. Bullying is different from these other topics because it is about under-the-radar and power-seeking behavior and communication tactics that are sincerely and severely destructive to the targets and the organization.

While harassment and sexual harassment are certainly illegal and therefore against any company’s policy, if the harasser is an equal opportunist victims find they have no managerial or legal recourse. In fact research indicates most often the victim is seen as the problem and either punished or let go for speaking up. This is a shame - victims are often besieged because they are high producers, and therefore a threat to the bully and thus singled out as a target. In an attempt to close the legal gap, David Yamada, Professor at Suffolk University, wrote the Healthy Workplace Bill. Under review in 15 states, including California in 2003, the bill has yet to pass into law in any of them. Only the government of Ireland (since as early as 1997), and the province of Quebec, Canada (since 2003), have specific laws against the act of bullying at work.

In addition, research indicates workplace bullying is far more harmful to victims than harassment and sexual harassment. It might be safe to assume that because harassment and sexual harassment is against the law it generally would not be allowed to go on for prolonged periods of time. Yet bullying often lasts between six months and five years, with the average victim leaving an organization after two years.

Working with you is killing me

2009-07-08T17:32:00.000-07:00

Check out this little gem on YouTube... by Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster

Don't think there's a bully in your organization? Take this test and find out.

2009-07-07T17:14:00.000-07:00

Research indicates that reports of being bullied are somewhere around 50%; and some studies indicate this number can be as high as 90%.

But most managers and human resource professionals would say that they don't have a bully in their organization and they do foster a very healthy workplace. With that many people feeling bullied, either these victims all work for the same company or there's some serious denial out there about behavior within our own organizations. Here are some questions to ask yourself that might help you determine if there's a bully in your workplace. See below regarding your answers.

1. Does your organization acknowledge or give public awards for demonstrating empathy, openness to feedback or effective communication skills?

2. Do items such as, "Demonstrates excellent reflective listening skills and an ability to outwardly exhibit cognitive comprehension", and "Motivated to appropriately respond to internal and external communication from all levels" appear in your job descriptions?

3. Do company meetings start with an open forum, where free thinkers, innovators and commentators are allowed to openly share ideas, thoughts, questions, and concerns?

4. Does your employee satisfaction survey ask employees if they are satisfied with internal communication flow and with the communication of their superiors? If it does, do your managers actually act on negative responses?

5. Do themes of openness, candidness, honesty and candor run through employee stories? (Or are employee stories about micromanagement, evil managers and keeping things quiet?)

6. Are contributions to organizational processes encouraged by employees at all levels?

7. Are bonuses and other rewards directly related to evaluations of communication from others in 360° reviews?

8. Have you received reports from employees that other employees are bullies?

9. Does your organization (or some of its managers) insist on following the rules right down to the dot above the "i" and the cross on the "t"?

10. Is there unhealthy organizational competition (within a specific department, or even across departments or department managers)?

11. Is your organization going through major changes (e.g., downsizing, restructuring)?

12. Have any of your managers changed personalities with a new promotion (e.g., seemingly become more power thirsty, aggressive, or untrusting)?

Questions 1-7: If you answered three of these seven questions "no", then it is very likely your organization is harboring a bully.

Questions 8-12: If you answered even just one of these five questions "yes", then it is very likely your organization is harboring a bully.

Remember that bullying is not a simple case of a bad behaving employee - it is systemic. Removing it from your organization requires the commitment of management and a well thought out and well executed plan. Organizations that value internal relationships and understand their positive impact on the bottom line will see employee individual success and greater organizational victory.

Don't forget to read the rest of my latest edition of NoWorkplaceBullies e-news.

Oldie but goodie

2009-07-05T16:50:00.000-07:00

This little jewel came in my e-news from The Happiness Institute in Australia.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

How often we are faced with a choice about how to react to each day's challenges. Do we rail at the outrageous winds of "fate" that pound us from time to time, falling into the pit of self-pity; or do we look upon these moments as opportunities to learn and grow, and broaden the humanity within us?

The good news is that we do have a choice. We can choose to feed the wolf of envy and resentment, or feed the wolf of humility, benevolence and compassion. We can choose to be happy or to be miserable. The choice we make colors our days, our work and our relationships to those around us.

Which wolf do you choose to feed today?

Toxic Workplaces

2009-07-04T00:37:00.000-07:00

At last month’s IPPA Congress in Philadelphia, I was inspired by Lord Richard Layard’s comment “the highest thing in life is to uplift the spirit.”

Unfortunately, not everyone we work with uplifts our spirits. Harvard Business Review recently featured a short article, “How toxic colleagues corrode performance.” Authors Porath and Pearson have been researching incivility for more than ten years and have found that “common (and generally tolerated) antisocial behavior at work is far more toxic than managers imagine.”

They report that in response to incivility, people:
48% decreased their work effort
47% decreased their time at work
38% decreased their work quality
66% said their performance declined
80% lost work time worrying about the incident
63% lost time avoiding the offender
78% said their commitment to the organization declined

Incivility may be loss of control
Professor Robert Sutton’s “No Asshole Rule” caught my eye in Harvard Business Review’s 2004 article “More Trouble Than They’re Worth.” Sutton received such immense support for his ideas that he published a book on the subject in 2007. He also has a popular blog.

Sutton’s work, as well as Peter Frost’s on toxic emotions at work, is particularly appropriate in a business world increasingly interested in creating more positive, humane organizations — where people are treated well and with respect, and where a positive workplace culture abounds.

What Is Incivility?
Incivility includes glaring, rolling eyes and other unpleasant expressions, teasing, putting people down, treating people like they’re invisible, back stabbing, micromanaging, insulting, belittling, deflating, disrespecting, de-energizing, rudely interrupting, being mean-spirited, nasty, and tyrannical.
Bob Sutton’s ideas are about eliminating the behaviors which bring others down. “The difference between the ways a person treats the powerless and the powerful is as good a measure of human character as I know.”

Sutton has two tests for spotting whether a person is acting like a jerk:

Test One: After talking to the alleged jerk, does the ‘target’ feel oppressed, humiliated, de-energized, or belittled by the person? In particular, does the target feel worse about him or herself?

Test Two: Does the alleged jerk aim his or her venom at people who are less powerful rather than at those people who are more powerful?

Implementing the Rule
Sutton suggests a range of ways to deal with such people:
don’t hire them
do not tolerate them just because they are the extraordinarily talented or difficult to replace
deal with them immediately
fire them if they don’t change
teach people to learn how to have constructive positive confrontations
“resist the temptation to apply the label to anyone who annoys you or has a bad moment” or are temporary jerks
“say the rule, write it down and act on it,” make it part of the rules of engagement

Surviving Nasty People and Workplaces
Sometimes fighting back is not successful, and can be high risk. If you have to work with jerks, Sutton suggests these tactics:
create a personal coping strategy
reframe, change your mindset: avoid self-blame, hope for the best but expect the worst, develop indifference and emotional detachment, do not allow their behavior to touch your soul
limit your exposure
build pockets of safety support and sanity: ‘a secret social network’
seek and fight the small battles that you have a good chance of winning’
See also “Neutralize Your Toxic Boss,” Annie McKee’s May 3rd blog post at http://blogs.harvardbusiness.org/

Positive Psychology in Action
While reading Sutton’s work, I am heartened by fields such as Positive Psychology and Positive Organizational Scholarship. These fields teach us how to neutralize toxicity and build strong cultures which minimize the possibility of ‘jerk-like’ behaviors. Focused attention on human decency and uplifting and energizing others are ways in which we can, in Lord Layard’s words, “uplift the spirit” of workers and organizations.

By Amanda Horne - July 3, 2009

The Cost of Workplace Bullying

2009-07-03T14:06:00.000-07:00

The Orlando Business Journal cited an estimated cost of $180M in lost time and productivity to American businesses each year. The Workplace Bullying Institute estimates between turnover and lost productivity a bully could cost a Fortune 500 company an astounding $24,000,000; add another $1.4 Million for litigation and settlement costs.

Direct income loss is very real when it comes to a workplace bully. Here are some items to consider when calculating the cost of the bully in your organization:
· Distraction from tasks on the part of the victim, bully and witnesses
· Reduced psychological safety and associated climate of fear
· Loss of motivation and energy at work from victims and witnesses
· Stress induced psychological and physical illness
· Possible impaired mental ability
· Prolonged bullying turns victims into bullies
· Absenteeism and turnover (30% of the bullied will quit, and 20% of witnesses will follow)
· Time spent at work looking for different work
· Time spent at work talking about being bullied instead of working
· Time spent at work by others gossiping about the bully and his or her behavior
· Time spent by other employees and management calming and counseling victims
· Time spent by management appeasing, counseling or disciplining bullies
· Time spent soothing victimized customers, suppliers and other key outsiders
· Time spent reorganizing departments and teams
· Time spent interviewing, recruiting, and training replacements for departed victims, witnesses and bullies
· Pertinent information not provided to victims in order to do their job effectively and efficiently
· Lost customers who were victimized the bully and took business elsewhere
· Lost customers who heard about the bully from unhappy former customers and took their business elsewhere
· Management burnout, leading to decreased commitment and increased stress
· Anger management, communication, leadership and other training
· Legal costs for counsel
· Settlement fees and successful litigation by victims
· Settlement fees and successful litigation by bullies (e.g., wrongful termination claims)
· Health insurance and workers compensation costs as a result of stress

(Note: A portion of this list was taken from The No Asshole Rule by Robert Sutton, PhD, professor at Stanford University.)

Here is an example of how to calculate total costs of a bully in your organization.

Figure out time spent by:
· bully’s direct manager counseling bully: 80 hours, $8,000
· victim’s direct manager counseling victim: 150 hours, $15,000
· witnesses counseling victim: 100 hours, $6,000
· HR talking with managers, bully and target: 10 hours, $1,500
· HR talking with Executives about the problem:5 hours, $1,500
· HR recruiting and training replacement of victim employee; $40,000
· team and department members training new employee: 160 hours, $10,000
· actual costs (advertising, temp agency): $1,000

Estimated total cost of bully: $83,000

Do not forget to factor in the potential income loss. It is difficult to calculate specifically how much of your total return is affected by the workplace bully because so many factors are involved, but it is certainly something you want to pay attention to. Here are a few examples.

A study published in the Journal of Organizational Excellence (2006) by Watson Wyatt, a global consulting firm focused on human capital and financial management, indicated that companies who focus on effective internal functioning and communication enjoy a 57% higher total return, 19% higher market premium, are more than 4.5 times more likely to have highly engaged employees, and are 20% more likely to report reduced turnover, when compared to competitors who demonstrate ineffective communication practices.

GreatPlaceJobs, an innovative online job board that only allows award winning companies to post openings, conducted a study that indicated these “great” workplaces earn approximately 30% more revenue and have 10% higher stock prices when compared to competitors who have not won awards for being a great place to work.

Remember, everyone has the right to a safe and healthy workplace.

Change is a Choice

2009-07-03T12:06:00.000-07:00

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." Wayne Dyer

Most of the advice you'll find out there on dealing with a workplace bully is just that, dealing with a bully. Talk to HR using facts and dates, document everything, keep doing your work well, find a witness to back your story up, file a law suit, etc. This is all helpful of course, but I would argue there's a major first step most advice-givers are missing.

Attribution theory describes the ways in which people explain behaviors of others and themselves. External attribution (also known as external locus of control) assigns causes of behavior to outside factors such as luck or even the weather. Internal attribution (internal locus of control) assigns causality to factors within ourselves or within that other person. Skills and personal abilities are an example.

Whether we attribute ours or others' behaviors to internal or external factors is a choice. And, we often choose to attribute negative happenings to outside forces, and positive happenings to ourselves. As a teacher I know that students who receive A's in my courses will attribute the grade to their own hard work, and students who receive an F will approach me with the question "Why did you give me an F?" It's as predictable as the sunrise. On a more personal level, during arguments with spouses or family members we often blame the other party for the issue at hand, and very rarely do we stop to take a good hard look at the part we played in the yelling match.

With attribution theory in mind, ask yourself why you're being picked on specifically instead of the other people at your workplace. What is it about YOUR particular relationship with the bully that is turning it into such a negative experience? What part do you play in the scenarios acted out between you and your bully? What makes you different than others who are not picked on? What signals are you sending the bully with your communication style? Do you fail to make eye contact with him or her? Are your shoulders hunched over instead of pushed back in a manner of pride? Are you claiming the bully has issues and you are perfectly innocent bystander?

As much as it may hurt at first to take some responsibility in what's happening, understand that you are not a simple passerby in your life. Though it may feel like it, your bully is not the WB's cartoon Tasmanian Devil swirling through at record speeds knocking anything and anyone out of the way at random. The bully has chosen YOU. You play SOME part in the interaction and communication processes at play here. And when you take responsibility for what's happening to you, it's easier to make a change. When you attribute your experiences to the bully, you feel like you have no control over the situation. Change then becomes impossible.

Think about the control you turn over to the bully when you say things like, "He makes me feel depressed and anxious." Now try saying, "I feel depressed and anxious," and see how much power and empowerment even those simple words can bring you.

Victor Frankl, a famous neurologist and psychiatrist once said, "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." It's certainly very easy to blame the bully for the horrible treatment and have a bad attitude about your situation, understandably so. But find out what part you play in the interactions with your bully, take responsibility for it, and make a change. This might be a change in your body language, your attitude, your conflict management style, or your way of thinking.

I'm certainly not saying this is your fault. But I am saying you have the power to change your situation by changing the way you're looking at it. Absolutely you do.

“Contributors to Your Happiness at Work?”

2009-03-16T22:28:00.000-07:00

By Prof. Timothy Sharp

I recently surveyed the people on one of my databases (those who have specifically expressed an interest in applying the principles of positive psychology within the workplace) and I asked them, quite simply, what they considered to be the top three contributors to happiness at work. Interestingly, their responses were remarkably consistent. Although the about fifty respondents used slightly different words, the core issues were similar.

Factor #1 - Leadership and Values

First, employees at all levels and across a range of different industries agreed on leadership as important for happiness at work. Respondents repeatedly noted how important it was for the organization as a whole to have clear values and for all who work within the organization to have respect for these values.

One respondent highlighted this by emphasizing her desire that all employees - especially those in positions of authority and leadership - “walked the talk,” and she provided a telling example suggesting that if an employer or organization is ostensibly encouraging staff to seek a balance between work and life that’s it’s not necessarily consistent to send emails at 2a.m.!

As referred to in several chapters of Cameron, Dutton, and Quinn’s wonderful Positive Organizational Scholarship, leadership, therefore, includes clarity of purpose, structure, consistency of behavior, and even better and more positive induction programs.

Factor #2 - Effective, Clear Communication

Following this, but separate enough to warrant its own heading, was the theme of effective and clear communication, especially from management. Although this was indubitably considered an important variable by many if not most of those who responded to the survey, it was also very clear that the theme of communication extended far beyond just the basics of assertiveness.

When people talked about communication they also referred to a desire to have one’s opinions listened to and taken seriously. For example, one respondent referred to the importance of “listening to staff, really hearing what they say, even if it is not what the manager wants to hear.” This point seemed to me to go towards issues of trust and respect.

Once again, this is entirely consistent with several research streams within positive psychology including several of the chapters in Dutton and Ragins’ “Exploring Positive Relationships at Work” as well as Christopher Peterson’s famous summary of positive psychology in three words…”other people matter.”

Factor #3 - Being Thanked and Appreciated

Additionally, employees want to not just be valued as important members of the team and of the organization but, also to be told, frequently and appropriately, that they’re valued. A dominant theme was “being thanked and appreciated.” Many respondents referred to this in one way or other with specific comments including a desire to more often see or hear about managers and colleagues openly congratulating and/or “sending emails around about wins or efforts by people” as well as the potential benefits that could be associated with “more frequently acknowledging the little achievements that everyone does each day.”

To my eyes, this wonderfully reinforced what we know from Robert Emmons’ inspiring work on appreciation and gratitude as well as Marcial Losada’s famous ratio pointing to the benefits of providing a significantly higher proportion of positive feedback than negative (starting at 3:1 and ostensibly 4 or 5:1).

Factor #4 - Strengths

The fourth theme to emerge from the survey indirectly and sometimes very directly revealed the number of people who are increasingly becoming aware of the importance of and benefits associated with identifying and more fully utilizing the strengths of each and every employee.

Responses referred to the desire to have one’s “skills used more” and the desire to receive more “adequate training leading to the prospect of advancement within the organization.” This is entirely consistent with one of the most exciting areas of positive psychology in which problems and deficits are not ignored but, and this is an important but, strengths, qualities, and attributes receive a far greater proportion of our attention. As has been suggested by Marcus Buckingham and others, there’s little doubt that the return on investment is far greater when individuals and organizations focus more on utilizing strengths, as opposed to just fixing weaknesses.

Factor #5 - Fun

And finally, there was general agreement that most workplaces would benefit from encouraging, fostering, and reinforcing a “more fun and light atmosphere,” one in which there was more “regular use of humor.” Every respondent, in one way or other, seemed to recognize the relationship between happiness at work and productivity: this wasn’t a group of people who just wanted to “muck around.” Those who responded seemed very ambitious and hard working, but they also seemed to inherently understand that when employees are having fun, they’re also more energized; when people are happy and enjoying themselves (at least some or most of the time) then they’re more productive and nicer to be around (an issue well summarized in Gostick and Christoper’s “The Levity Effect”).

In Summary

The results of the survey are, quite interestingly, remarkably consistent with the findings from the science of positive psychology and reassuringly, they’re also very consistent with what we, here at The Happiness Institute (www.thehappinessinstitute.com) teach people to do each and every day. Some people out there are already doing it, and that’s great; for others, there’s no reason you can’t aim towards doing more of these things and I can guarantee that if you do…you’ll reap the rewards.

Quote of the Day

2009-03-09T12:05:00.000-07:00

"We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within."

- Earl Nightingale

Take the ball and go home

2009-02-22T17:26:00.000-08:00

Bullies can't be bullies when they are alone.

If you work with a bully, this is all you need to know. They need you.
A bully is someone who uses physical or psychological force to demean and demoralize someone else. A bully isn't challenging your ideas, or working with you to find a better outcome. A bully is playing a game, one that he or she enjoys and needs. You're welcome to play this game if it makes you happy, but for most people, it will make you miserable. So don't.

The way to work with a bully is not to try to please her or to question the quality of your work or to appease her or to hide from her.

The way to work with a bully is to take the ball and go home. First time, every time.

When there's no ball, there's no game. Bullies hate that. So they'll either behave so they can play with you or they'll go bully someone else.

Call her on her behavior (not who she is, but what she does). "I'm sorry, but when you talk to me like that, I'm unable to do good work. I'll be in my office if you need me." Then walk out, not in a huff, but with a measure of respect for the person (not the behavior).

This is a shocking piece of advice. It might even get you fired. But it will probably save your job and your sanity. Most bullies are deeply unhappy and you might just save their skin. If you're good at what you do, you deserve better than a bully.

From: Seth Godin's blog

Resilience in the Face of Adversity

2009-02-20T14:01:00.001-08:00

I just returned from a conference in Arizona where I presented a soon-to-be-published paper on workplace bullying. I presented this research with a panel of other researchers who also had written papers on bullying. Three of the panelists had been bullied at some in the past, and had written papers on their experiences.

While I listened, it really got me thinking about what the differences are between two victims of bullying - where one victim comes out of the situation more or less okay, while another comes out of the same situation with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. There must be differences between victims that would cause them to experience the same situation so differently.

I also recently came across Kathyrn Britton's article on resilience. You can read the whole thing here.

According to Kathryn, resilience is the ability to deal with moments of panic, self-blame, anger, threats (or workplace bullies). It is adaptation to difficulties surrounding you.

The following three steps can help one get through a difficult moment:

1. Calm down. Take deep breaths.
2. Think of something that gives you a positive emotion.
3. Try to shift your thinking about the challenge that started the negative emotions in the first place.

Kathryn goes on to say that resilience isn't so much just the simple ability to deal with a difficult time, but it's also an accumulation of assets that include connections to prosocial organizations, close relationships with others, positive relationships with family, a positive view of the self, good problem solving skills and appealing personality.

Therefore, as you think about issues you face at work and the anger you feel towards the bully you must fight each day, try thinking about the resources and competencies you have accumulated thus far in life. Here are some questions to help you tally some of them:

Have you shown self-regulation in the past (e.g., with money, your temper, etc)?
Do you have a community of friends who can support you?
Have you helped others?
Have you dealt with serious adversity in the past? How did you deal with it? What were the skills you gained?
Are you a positive or a negative thinker? If you are a negative thinker, what is your plan to start thinking more positively?

Remember that ultimately your experience with the bully will only build your skills and ability to deal with adversity. It's not so bad afterall - use the opportunity to build your ability to be resilient.

This article was adapted from Kathryn Britton's article posted on Postive Psychology News Daily, and the article can be read in full here.

Workplace bullying can be difficult to distinguish

2009-02-03T15:57:00.000-08:00

One of the emerging issues in employment law today is workplace bullying.
Laws have been proposed in at least a dozen states that would address abusive behavior in the workplace, but so far none has become law. The difficulty seems to be in distinguishing bullying from relatively common (albeit obnoxious) management techniques.

In California, the Legislature considered a bill several years ago that would have banned malicious behavior by an employer or manager "that a reasonable person would find hostile, offensive and unrelated to an employer’s legitimate business interests." It died in committee, partly because it was feared that the broad definition would lead to a flood of lawsuits.

Nearly every week I get a call from an employee who complains about a hostile environment at work. When I ask more questions, I often find there is no legal recourse because the boss treats everyone the same way. He or she is an equal opportunity jerk, and the laws that protect employees from discrimination and harassment are of little use in this situation.

But are the courts the best place to address this problem? Can a judge or jury right all of the wrongs – large and small – that people experience on a daily basis? Shouldn’t we expect to take some things in stride and take some responsibility for the way we allow ourselves to be treated?

Discrimination on the basis of status is different. When being female, older or Latino is the cause of unfair treatment, it’s an institutional problem. But when one person feels intimidated by another, it’s often a function of their specific relationship, not the result of a widespread societal bias.

Of course, assault and battery is still illegal, as are threats of violence, even at work. That is not to say that bullying is OK. It’s not.

It’s very damaging to an organization to allow a manager to rule by intimidation. It has been estimated that a single abusive manager can waste $180,000 in a single year.

Even if that manager produces profits in the short run, he or she is killing the goose to get those golden eggs. There is no excuse for genuine abuse in the workplace, but a legal definition needs to be narrower than simply "hostile" or "offensive," or we truly risk having courts second guessing every interaction between employer and employee.

HR Consultant Catherine Mattice has studied workplace bullying extensively. She recommends beefing up the employer’s communication practices to avoid the potential losses and liabilities that a generally hostile workplace – even a legal one – can entail.

On her Web site, www.noworkplacebullies.com, she points out ways to recognize bullies in your workplace and steps you can take to reduce dissatisfaction and boost morale. In these times, that’s not a bad goal for any employer.

By Lou Storrow, Chairman of the Carlsbad Chamber of Commerce Board of Directors, Feb 01, 2009

Announcing Workplace Bully Workshop

2009-02-02T12:22:00.000-08:00

The Center for Innovation’s

Professional Development Academy of the Grossmont-Cuyamaca Community College District

Presents:

WORKPLACE BULLIES
A Complimentary Workshop by Catherine Mattice

What: This free workshop will help you put a stop to bullying, whether you are a manager or a target. Catherine Mattice will cover how and why bullies thrive in an organization and the damage they are causing. She will explore why some people may be targeted over others, how to facilitate adjustments in organizational culture, and how to cultivate assertive communication skills.

Who: The Center of Innovation of the Grossmont-Cuyamaca Community College District presents Catherine Mattice, communication consultant and workplace bullying subject matter expert.

When: Wednesday, February 25, 2009
11:00am-12:15pm

Where: Cuyamaca College
Room F-613
900 Rancho San Diego Parkway
El Cajon, CA 92019

RSVP: Pre-registration is required. Registration is FREE. Please RSVP to Katie O’Leary at 619-660-4323 or Kathleen.OLeary@gcccd.edu.

Bad managers top reason for quitting

2009-01-19T12:02:00.000-08:00

From the Atlanta Business Chronicle...

Great Quotes from Great Leaders

2009-01-15T10:43:00.000-08:00

This came from Nightingale-Conant, one of my favorite enewsletters and places to get inspiring information.

Sit back, relax, turn up your speakers, and enjoy about three minutes of inspiring quotes from great leaders of the past.

http://www.ncgreatquotesmovie.com/1.html

Take back control of your life

2009-01-12T08:45:00.000-08:00

This morning I came across a wonderful website, http://www.overcomebullying.org/. The site belongs to an organization devoted to resolving bullying in schools and the workplace (Plug: Sign up for their newsletter), and I found one of their articles to make an extremely good point.

Sometimes the best way to deal with a bully is to quit your job. But to most that's not an option, especially in this economy. Overcomebullying.org points out, though, that while your bills are one thing, your mental health and physical state are much more important. While you're thinking, "Can I afford to quit my job and still pay my bills?" what you should be thinking is, "Can I really afford to be this unhappy?"

The fact of the matter is, you don't just shut your feelings of hurt and anxiety off when you leave for the day. They remain with you at all times.

I became a workplace bullying consultant because of my own experiences. I was bullied by another Director-level peer. And... as the HR Director I was fighting for the rights of all of the staff members the bully was bullying. I found myself fighting wars for them in order to ease their own pain, because that's what HR professionals do - take the brunt of the wrath of management if they can.

I left that job not because I quit, necessarily. I left that job because my boss came into my office one day, after about a year of my perpetual tardiness and extremely reduced productivity (normally way out of character for me), to point out that while I was once the highest producer and full of life and ideas, I was not putting in any effort at work anymore. We decided the best option for me was to leave - right then.

So, with my tail between my legs I packed my boxes, and left without warning. Scary... or so you'd think.

When I think back to that day I don't see fear and saddness, I see beautiful rainbows and sunshine. My drive home from work that day, the day I was essentially asked to leave because my tormentor had ripped my self-esteem to shreds, was one of the best days of my life. Over the course of the next few weeks, I could physically feel the monkey climbing down off my back. I could stand up straight again and everything seemed brighter, literally, not metaphorically. My physical state changed - I felt happy and vibrant again. My mental state changed - I could see the world with clarity.

And where there's a will there's a way. I went out and immediately got another job full of life and fun. I loved going to work everyday. I was ultimately laid off, unfortunately, and that's when I decided to start my own consulting firm.

While finding a job immediately may not be so realistic during this time, the economy will change - and you want to be ready when it does.

So start your planning now. Get the ol' resume out and start filling in the gaps. You're lucky because bullies target the smartest people with the most ideas, and the management favorites, so that means you've got a good chance at finding something new.

Keep in mind resumes should contain lots of tangible accomplishments with only a few job tasks that summarize your position. Be sure to keep the resume neat and clean, and use bullet points to make it easier for the resume reviewer to scan. Resumes only get 2-20 seconds of time, so you want to be clear and concise. For more tips on resume writing click on "In the Media" at http://www.catherinemattice.com/. You'll find some great information there.

Also remember that there is no need to bind yourself to another 9-5er with a paycheck every 2 weeks. We often do, because it's steady and it's easy.

But if you want to leave now many companies are hiring consultants to do a little work here and little work there to cover the stuff that a now-laid off person may have been doing. Start asking around and using your business contacts - you may find there's more demand out there for your skills than you thought.