This little jewel came in my e-news from The Happiness Institute in Australia.
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
How often we are faced with a choice about how to react to each day's challenges. Do we rail at the outrageous winds of "fate" that pound us from time to time, falling into the pit of self-pity; or do we look upon these moments as opportunities to learn and grow, and broaden the humanity within us?
The good news is that we do have a choice. We can choose to feed the wolf of envy and resentment, or feed the wolf of humility, benevolence and compassion. We can choose to be happy or to be miserable. The choice we make colors our days, our work and our relationships to those around us.
Which wolf do you choose to feed today?
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Toxic Workplaces
At last month’s IPPA Congress in Philadelphia, I was inspired by Lord Richard Layard’s comment “the highest thing in life is to uplift the spirit.”
Unfortunately, not everyone we work with uplifts our spirits. Harvard Business Review recently featured a short article, “How toxic colleagues corrode performance.” Authors Porath and Pearson have been researching incivility for more than ten years and have found that “common (and generally tolerated) antisocial behavior at work is far more toxic than managers imagine.”
They report that in response to incivility, people:
48% decreased their work effort
47% decreased their time at work
38% decreased their work quality
66% said their performance declined
80% lost work time worrying about the incident
63% lost time avoiding the offender
78% said their commitment to the organization declined
Incivility may be loss of control
Professor Robert Sutton’s “No Asshole Rule” caught my eye in Harvard Business Review’s 2004 article “More Trouble Than They’re Worth.” Sutton received such immense support for his ideas that he published a book on the subject in 2007. He also has a popular blog.
Sutton’s work, as well as Peter Frost’s on toxic emotions at work, is particularly appropriate in a business world increasingly interested in creating more positive, humane organizations — where people are treated well and with respect, and where a positive workplace culture abounds.
What Is Incivility?
Incivility includes glaring, rolling eyes and other unpleasant expressions, teasing, putting people down, treating people like they’re invisible, back stabbing, micromanaging, insulting, belittling, deflating, disrespecting, de-energizing, rudely interrupting, being mean-spirited, nasty, and tyrannical.
Bob Sutton’s ideas are about eliminating the behaviors which bring others down. “The difference between the ways a person treats the powerless and the powerful is as good a measure of human character as I know.”
Sutton has two tests for spotting whether a person is acting like a jerk:
Test One: After talking to the alleged jerk, does the ‘target’ feel oppressed, humiliated, de-energized, or belittled by the person? In particular, does the target feel worse about him or herself?
Test Two: Does the alleged jerk aim his or her venom at people who are less powerful rather than at those people who are more powerful?
Implementing the Rule
Sutton suggests a range of ways to deal with such people:
don’t hire them
do not tolerate them just because they are the extraordinarily talented or difficult to replace
deal with them immediately
fire them if they don’t change
teach people to learn how to have constructive positive confrontations
“resist the temptation to apply the label to anyone who annoys you or has a bad moment” or are temporary jerks
“say the rule, write it down and act on it,” make it part of the rules of engagement
Surviving Nasty People and Workplaces
Sometimes fighting back is not successful, and can be high risk. If you have to work with jerks, Sutton suggests these tactics:
create a personal coping strategy
reframe, change your mindset: avoid self-blame, hope for the best but expect the worst, develop indifference and emotional detachment, do not allow their behavior to touch your soul
limit your exposure
build pockets of safety support and sanity: ‘a secret social network’
seek and fight the small battles that you have a good chance of winning’
See also “Neutralize Your Toxic Boss,” Annie McKee’s May 3rd blog post at http://blogs.harvardbusiness.org/
Positive Psychology in Action
While reading Sutton’s work, I am heartened by fields such as Positive Psychology and Positive Organizational Scholarship. These fields teach us how to neutralize toxicity and build strong cultures which minimize the possibility of ‘jerk-like’ behaviors. Focused attention on human decency and uplifting and energizing others are ways in which we can, in Lord Layard’s words, “uplift the spirit” of workers and organizations.
By Amanda Horne - July 3, 2009
Unfortunately, not everyone we work with uplifts our spirits. Harvard Business Review recently featured a short article, “How toxic colleagues corrode performance.” Authors Porath and Pearson have been researching incivility for more than ten years and have found that “common (and generally tolerated) antisocial behavior at work is far more toxic than managers imagine.”
They report that in response to incivility, people:
48% decreased their work effort
47% decreased their time at work
38% decreased their work quality
66% said their performance declined
80% lost work time worrying about the incident
63% lost time avoiding the offender
78% said their commitment to the organization declined
Incivility may be loss of control
Professor Robert Sutton’s “No Asshole Rule” caught my eye in Harvard Business Review’s 2004 article “More Trouble Than They’re Worth.” Sutton received such immense support for his ideas that he published a book on the subject in 2007. He also has a popular blog.
Sutton’s work, as well as Peter Frost’s on toxic emotions at work, is particularly appropriate in a business world increasingly interested in creating more positive, humane organizations — where people are treated well and with respect, and where a positive workplace culture abounds.
What Is Incivility?
Incivility includes glaring, rolling eyes and other unpleasant expressions, teasing, putting people down, treating people like they’re invisible, back stabbing, micromanaging, insulting, belittling, deflating, disrespecting, de-energizing, rudely interrupting, being mean-spirited, nasty, and tyrannical.
Bob Sutton’s ideas are about eliminating the behaviors which bring others down. “The difference between the ways a person treats the powerless and the powerful is as good a measure of human character as I know.”
Sutton has two tests for spotting whether a person is acting like a jerk:
Test One: After talking to the alleged jerk, does the ‘target’ feel oppressed, humiliated, de-energized, or belittled by the person? In particular, does the target feel worse about him or herself?
Test Two: Does the alleged jerk aim his or her venom at people who are less powerful rather than at those people who are more powerful?
Implementing the Rule
Sutton suggests a range of ways to deal with such people:
don’t hire them
do not tolerate them just because they are the extraordinarily talented or difficult to replace
deal with them immediately
fire them if they don’t change
teach people to learn how to have constructive positive confrontations
“resist the temptation to apply the label to anyone who annoys you or has a bad moment” or are temporary jerks
“say the rule, write it down and act on it,” make it part of the rules of engagement
Surviving Nasty People and Workplaces
Sometimes fighting back is not successful, and can be high risk. If you have to work with jerks, Sutton suggests these tactics:
create a personal coping strategy
reframe, change your mindset: avoid self-blame, hope for the best but expect the worst, develop indifference and emotional detachment, do not allow their behavior to touch your soul
limit your exposure
build pockets of safety support and sanity: ‘a secret social network’
seek and fight the small battles that you have a good chance of winning’
See also “Neutralize Your Toxic Boss,” Annie McKee’s May 3rd blog post at http://blogs.harvardbusiness.org/
Positive Psychology in Action
While reading Sutton’s work, I am heartened by fields such as Positive Psychology and Positive Organizational Scholarship. These fields teach us how to neutralize toxicity and build strong cultures which minimize the possibility of ‘jerk-like’ behaviors. Focused attention on human decency and uplifting and energizing others are ways in which we can, in Lord Layard’s words, “uplift the spirit” of workers and organizations.
By Amanda Horne - July 3, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
The Cost of Workplace Bullying
The Orlando Business Journal cited an estimated cost of $180M in lost time and productivity to American businesses each year. The Workplace Bullying Institute estimates between turnover and lost productivity a bully could cost a Fortune 500 company an astounding $24,000,000; add another $1.4 Million for litigation and settlement costs.
Direct income loss is very real when it comes to a workplace bully. Here are some items to consider when calculating the cost of the bully in your organization:
· Distraction from tasks on the part of the victim, bully and witnesses
· Reduced psychological safety and associated climate of fear
· Loss of motivation and energy at work from victims and witnesses
· Stress induced psychological and physical illness
· Possible impaired mental ability
· Prolonged bullying turns victims into bullies
· Absenteeism and turnover (30% of the bullied will quit, and 20% of witnesses will follow)
· Time spent at work looking for different work
· Time spent at work talking about being bullied instead of working
· Time spent at work by others gossiping about the bully and his or her behavior
· Time spent by other employees and management calming and counseling victims
· Time spent by management appeasing, counseling or disciplining bullies
· Time spent soothing victimized customers, suppliers and other key outsiders
· Time spent reorganizing departments and teams
· Time spent interviewing, recruiting, and training replacements for departed victims, witnesses and bullies
· Pertinent information not provided to victims in order to do their job effectively and efficiently
· Lost customers who were victimized the bully and took business elsewhere
· Lost customers who heard about the bully from unhappy former customers and took their business elsewhere
· Management burnout, leading to decreased commitment and increased stress
· Anger management, communication, leadership and other training
· Legal costs for counsel
· Settlement fees and successful litigation by victims
· Settlement fees and successful litigation by bullies (e.g., wrongful termination claims)
· Health insurance and workers compensation costs as a result of stress
(Note: A portion of this list was taken from The No Asshole Rule by Robert Sutton, PhD, professor at Stanford University.)
Here is an example of how to calculate total costs of a bully in your organization.
Figure out time spent by:
· bully’s direct manager counseling bully: 80 hours, $8,000
· victim’s direct manager counseling victim: 150 hours, $15,000
· witnesses counseling victim: 100 hours, $6,000
· HR talking with managers, bully and target: 10 hours, $1,500
· HR talking with Executives about the problem:5 hours, $1,500
· HR recruiting and training replacement of victim employee; $40,000
· team and department members training new employee: 160 hours, $10,000
· actual costs (advertising, temp agency): $1,000
Estimated total cost of bully: $83,000
Do not forget to factor in the potential income loss. It is difficult to calculate specifically how much of your total return is affected by the workplace bully because so many factors are involved, but it is certainly something you want to pay attention to. Here are a few examples.
A study published in the Journal of Organizational Excellence (2006) by Watson Wyatt, a global consulting firm focused on human capital and financial management, indicated that companies who focus on effective internal functioning and communication enjoy a 57% higher total return, 19% higher market premium, are more than 4.5 times more likely to have highly engaged employees, and are 20% more likely to report reduced turnover, when compared to competitors who demonstrate ineffective communication practices.
GreatPlaceJobs, an innovative online job board that only allows award winning companies to post openings, conducted a study that indicated these “great” workplaces earn approximately 30% more revenue and have 10% higher stock prices when compared to competitors who have not won awards for being a great place to work.
Remember, everyone has the right to a safe and healthy workplace.
Direct income loss is very real when it comes to a workplace bully. Here are some items to consider when calculating the cost of the bully in your organization:
· Distraction from tasks on the part of the victim, bully and witnesses
· Reduced psychological safety and associated climate of fear
· Loss of motivation and energy at work from victims and witnesses
· Stress induced psychological and physical illness
· Possible impaired mental ability
· Prolonged bullying turns victims into bullies
· Absenteeism and turnover (30% of the bullied will quit, and 20% of witnesses will follow)
· Time spent at work looking for different work
· Time spent at work talking about being bullied instead of working
· Time spent at work by others gossiping about the bully and his or her behavior
· Time spent by other employees and management calming and counseling victims
· Time spent by management appeasing, counseling or disciplining bullies
· Time spent soothing victimized customers, suppliers and other key outsiders
· Time spent reorganizing departments and teams
· Time spent interviewing, recruiting, and training replacements for departed victims, witnesses and bullies
· Pertinent information not provided to victims in order to do their job effectively and efficiently
· Lost customers who were victimized the bully and took business elsewhere
· Lost customers who heard about the bully from unhappy former customers and took their business elsewhere
· Management burnout, leading to decreased commitment and increased stress
· Anger management, communication, leadership and other training
· Legal costs for counsel
· Settlement fees and successful litigation by victims
· Settlement fees and successful litigation by bullies (e.g., wrongful termination claims)
· Health insurance and workers compensation costs as a result of stress
(Note: A portion of this list was taken from The No Asshole Rule by Robert Sutton, PhD, professor at Stanford University.)
Here is an example of how to calculate total costs of a bully in your organization.
Figure out time spent by:
· bully’s direct manager counseling bully: 80 hours, $8,000
· victim’s direct manager counseling victim: 150 hours, $15,000
· witnesses counseling victim: 100 hours, $6,000
· HR talking with managers, bully and target: 10 hours, $1,500
· HR talking with Executives about the problem:5 hours, $1,500
· HR recruiting and training replacement of victim employee; $40,000
· team and department members training new employee: 160 hours, $10,000
· actual costs (advertising, temp agency): $1,000
Estimated total cost of bully: $83,000
Do not forget to factor in the potential income loss. It is difficult to calculate specifically how much of your total return is affected by the workplace bully because so many factors are involved, but it is certainly something you want to pay attention to. Here are a few examples.
A study published in the Journal of Organizational Excellence (2006) by Watson Wyatt, a global consulting firm focused on human capital and financial management, indicated that companies who focus on effective internal functioning and communication enjoy a 57% higher total return, 19% higher market premium, are more than 4.5 times more likely to have highly engaged employees, and are 20% more likely to report reduced turnover, when compared to competitors who demonstrate ineffective communication practices.
GreatPlaceJobs, an innovative online job board that only allows award winning companies to post openings, conducted a study that indicated these “great” workplaces earn approximately 30% more revenue and have 10% higher stock prices when compared to competitors who have not won awards for being a great place to work.
Remember, everyone has the right to a safe and healthy workplace.
Change is a Choice
"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." Wayne Dyer
Most of the advice you'll find out there on dealing with a workplace bully is just that, dealing with a bully. Talk to HR using facts and dates, document everything, keep doing your work well, find a witness to back your story up, file a law suit, etc. This is all helpful of course, but I would argue there's a major first step most advice-givers are missing.
Attribution theory describes the ways in which people explain behaviors of others and themselves. External attribution (also known as external locus of control) assigns causes of behavior to outside factors such as luck or even the weather. Internal attribution (internal locus of control) assigns causality to factors within ourselves or within that other person. Skills and personal abilities are an example.
Whether we attribute ours or others' behaviors to internal or external factors is a choice. And, we often choose to attribute negative happenings to outside forces, and positive happenings to ourselves. As a teacher I know that students who receive A's in my courses will attribute the grade to their own hard work, and students who receive an F will approach me with the question "Why did you give me an F?" It's as predictable as the sunrise. On a more personal level, during arguments with spouses or family members we often blame the other party for the issue at hand, and very rarely do we stop to take a good hard look at the part we played in the yelling match.
With attribution theory in mind, ask yourself why you're being picked on specifically instead of the other people at your workplace. What is it about YOUR particular relationship with the bully that is turning it into such a negative experience? What part do you play in the scenarios acted out between you and your bully? What makes you different than others who are not picked on? What signals are you sending the bully with your communication style? Do you fail to make eye contact with him or her? Are your shoulders hunched over instead of pushed back in a manner of pride? Are you claiming the bully has issues and you are perfectly innocent bystander?
As much as it may hurt at first to take some responsibility in what's happening, understand that you are not a simple passerby in your life. Though it may feel like it, your bully is not the WB's cartoon Tasmanian Devil swirling through at record speeds knocking anything and anyone out of the way at random. The bully has chosen YOU. You play SOME part in the interaction and communication processes at play here. And when you take responsibility for what's happening to you, it's easier to make a change. When you attribute your experiences to the bully, you feel like you have no control over the situation. Change then becomes impossible.
Think about the control you turn over to the bully when you say things like, "He makes me feel depressed and anxious." Now try saying, "I feel depressed and anxious," and see how much power and empowerment even those simple words can bring you.
Victor Frankl, a famous neurologist and psychiatrist once said, "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." It's certainly very easy to blame the bully for the horrible treatment and have a bad attitude about your situation, understandably so. But find out what part you play in the interactions with your bully, take responsibility for it, and make a change. This might be a change in your body language, your attitude, your conflict management style, or your way of thinking.
I'm certainly not saying this is your fault. But I am saying you have the power to change your situation by changing the way you're looking at it. Absolutely you do.
Most of the advice you'll find out there on dealing with a workplace bully is just that, dealing with a bully. Talk to HR using facts and dates, document everything, keep doing your work well, find a witness to back your story up, file a law suit, etc. This is all helpful of course, but I would argue there's a major first step most advice-givers are missing.
Attribution theory describes the ways in which people explain behaviors of others and themselves. External attribution (also known as external locus of control) assigns causes of behavior to outside factors such as luck or even the weather. Internal attribution (internal locus of control) assigns causality to factors within ourselves or within that other person. Skills and personal abilities are an example.
Whether we attribute ours or others' behaviors to internal or external factors is a choice. And, we often choose to attribute negative happenings to outside forces, and positive happenings to ourselves. As a teacher I know that students who receive A's in my courses will attribute the grade to their own hard work, and students who receive an F will approach me with the question "Why did you give me an F?" It's as predictable as the sunrise. On a more personal level, during arguments with spouses or family members we often blame the other party for the issue at hand, and very rarely do we stop to take a good hard look at the part we played in the yelling match.
With attribution theory in mind, ask yourself why you're being picked on specifically instead of the other people at your workplace. What is it about YOUR particular relationship with the bully that is turning it into such a negative experience? What part do you play in the scenarios acted out between you and your bully? What makes you different than others who are not picked on? What signals are you sending the bully with your communication style? Do you fail to make eye contact with him or her? Are your shoulders hunched over instead of pushed back in a manner of pride? Are you claiming the bully has issues and you are perfectly innocent bystander?
As much as it may hurt at first to take some responsibility in what's happening, understand that you are not a simple passerby in your life. Though it may feel like it, your bully is not the WB's cartoon Tasmanian Devil swirling through at record speeds knocking anything and anyone out of the way at random. The bully has chosen YOU. You play SOME part in the interaction and communication processes at play here. And when you take responsibility for what's happening to you, it's easier to make a change. When you attribute your experiences to the bully, you feel like you have no control over the situation. Change then becomes impossible.
Think about the control you turn over to the bully when you say things like, "He makes me feel depressed and anxious." Now try saying, "I feel depressed and anxious," and see how much power and empowerment even those simple words can bring you.
Victor Frankl, a famous neurologist and psychiatrist once said, "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." It's certainly very easy to blame the bully for the horrible treatment and have a bad attitude about your situation, understandably so. But find out what part you play in the interactions with your bully, take responsibility for it, and make a change. This might be a change in your body language, your attitude, your conflict management style, or your way of thinking.
I'm certainly not saying this is your fault. But I am saying you have the power to change your situation by changing the way you're looking at it. Absolutely you do.
Monday, March 16, 2009
“Contributors to Your Happiness at Work?”
By Prof. Timothy Sharp
I recently surveyed the people on one of my databases (those who have specifically expressed an interest in applying the principles of positive psychology within the workplace) and I asked them, quite simply, what they considered to be the top three contributors to happiness at work. Interestingly, their responses were remarkably consistent. Although the about fifty respondents used slightly different words, the core issues were similar.
Factor #1 - Leadership and Values
First, employees at all levels and across a range of different industries agreed on leadership as important for happiness at work. Respondents repeatedly noted how important it was for the organization as a whole to have clear values and for all who work within the organization to have respect for these values.
One respondent highlighted this by emphasizing her desire that all employees - especially those in positions of authority and leadership - “walked the talk,” and she provided a telling example suggesting that if an employer or organization is ostensibly encouraging staff to seek a balance between work and life that’s it’s not necessarily consistent to send emails at 2a.m.!
As referred to in several chapters of Cameron, Dutton, and Quinn’s wonderful Positive Organizational Scholarship, leadership, therefore, includes clarity of purpose, structure, consistency of behavior, and even better and more positive induction programs.
Factor #2 - Effective, Clear Communication
Following this, but separate enough to warrant its own heading, was the theme of effective and clear communication, especially from management. Although this was indubitably considered an important variable by many if not most of those who responded to the survey, it was also very clear that the theme of communication extended far beyond just the basics of assertiveness.
When people talked about communication they also referred to a desire to have one’s opinions listened to and taken seriously. For example, one respondent referred to the importance of “listening to staff, really hearing what they say, even if it is not what the manager wants to hear.” This point seemed to me to go towards issues of trust and respect.
Once again, this is entirely consistent with several research streams within positive psychology including several of the chapters in Dutton and Ragins’ “Exploring Positive Relationships at Work” as well as Christopher Peterson’s famous summary of positive psychology in three words…”other people matter.”
Factor #3 - Being Thanked and Appreciated
Additionally, employees want to not just be valued as important members of the team and of the organization but, also to be told, frequently and appropriately, that they’re valued. A dominant theme was “being thanked and appreciated.” Many respondents referred to this in one way or other with specific comments including a desire to more often see or hear about managers and colleagues openly congratulating and/or “sending emails around about wins or efforts by people” as well as the potential benefits that could be associated with “more frequently acknowledging the little achievements that everyone does each day.”
To my eyes, this wonderfully reinforced what we know from Robert Emmons’ inspiring work on appreciation and gratitude as well as Marcial Losada’s famous ratio pointing to the benefits of providing a significantly higher proportion of positive feedback than negative (starting at 3:1 and ostensibly 4 or 5:1).
Factor #4 - Strengths
The fourth theme to emerge from the survey indirectly and sometimes very directly revealed the number of people who are increasingly becoming aware of the importance of and benefits associated with identifying and more fully utilizing the strengths of each and every employee.
Responses referred to the desire to have one’s “skills used more” and the desire to receive more “adequate training leading to the prospect of advancement within the organization.” This is entirely consistent with one of the most exciting areas of positive psychology in which problems and deficits are not ignored but, and this is an important but, strengths, qualities, and attributes receive a far greater proportion of our attention. As has been suggested by Marcus Buckingham and others, there’s little doubt that the return on investment is far greater when individuals and organizations focus more on utilizing strengths, as opposed to just fixing weaknesses.
Factor #5 - Fun
And finally, there was general agreement that most workplaces would benefit from encouraging, fostering, and reinforcing a “more fun and light atmosphere,” one in which there was more “regular use of humor.” Every respondent, in one way or other, seemed to recognize the relationship between happiness at work and productivity: this wasn’t a group of people who just wanted to “muck around.” Those who responded seemed very ambitious and hard working, but they also seemed to inherently understand that when employees are having fun, they’re also more energized; when people are happy and enjoying themselves (at least some or most of the time) then they’re more productive and nicer to be around (an issue well summarized in Gostick and Christoper’s “The Levity Effect”).
In Summary
The results of the survey are, quite interestingly, remarkably consistent with the findings from the science of positive psychology and reassuringly, they’re also very consistent with what we, here at The Happiness Institute (www.thehappinessinstitute.com) teach people to do each and every day. Some people out there are already doing it, and that’s great; for others, there’s no reason you can’t aim towards doing more of these things and I can guarantee that if you do…you’ll reap the rewards.
I recently surveyed the people on one of my databases (those who have specifically expressed an interest in applying the principles of positive psychology within the workplace) and I asked them, quite simply, what they considered to be the top three contributors to happiness at work. Interestingly, their responses were remarkably consistent. Although the about fifty respondents used slightly different words, the core issues were similar.
Factor #1 - Leadership and Values
First, employees at all levels and across a range of different industries agreed on leadership as important for happiness at work. Respondents repeatedly noted how important it was for the organization as a whole to have clear values and for all who work within the organization to have respect for these values.
One respondent highlighted this by emphasizing her desire that all employees - especially those in positions of authority and leadership - “walked the talk,” and she provided a telling example suggesting that if an employer or organization is ostensibly encouraging staff to seek a balance between work and life that’s it’s not necessarily consistent to send emails at 2a.m.!
As referred to in several chapters of Cameron, Dutton, and Quinn’s wonderful Positive Organizational Scholarship, leadership, therefore, includes clarity of purpose, structure, consistency of behavior, and even better and more positive induction programs.
Factor #2 - Effective, Clear Communication
Following this, but separate enough to warrant its own heading, was the theme of effective and clear communication, especially from management. Although this was indubitably considered an important variable by many if not most of those who responded to the survey, it was also very clear that the theme of communication extended far beyond just the basics of assertiveness.
When people talked about communication they also referred to a desire to have one’s opinions listened to and taken seriously. For example, one respondent referred to the importance of “listening to staff, really hearing what they say, even if it is not what the manager wants to hear.” This point seemed to me to go towards issues of trust and respect.
Once again, this is entirely consistent with several research streams within positive psychology including several of the chapters in Dutton and Ragins’ “Exploring Positive Relationships at Work” as well as Christopher Peterson’s famous summary of positive psychology in three words…”other people matter.”
Factor #3 - Being Thanked and Appreciated
Additionally, employees want to not just be valued as important members of the team and of the organization but, also to be told, frequently and appropriately, that they’re valued. A dominant theme was “being thanked and appreciated.” Many respondents referred to this in one way or other with specific comments including a desire to more often see or hear about managers and colleagues openly congratulating and/or “sending emails around about wins or efforts by people” as well as the potential benefits that could be associated with “more frequently acknowledging the little achievements that everyone does each day.”
To my eyes, this wonderfully reinforced what we know from Robert Emmons’ inspiring work on appreciation and gratitude as well as Marcial Losada’s famous ratio pointing to the benefits of providing a significantly higher proportion of positive feedback than negative (starting at 3:1 and ostensibly 4 or 5:1).
Factor #4 - Strengths
The fourth theme to emerge from the survey indirectly and sometimes very directly revealed the number of people who are increasingly becoming aware of the importance of and benefits associated with identifying and more fully utilizing the strengths of each and every employee.
Responses referred to the desire to have one’s “skills used more” and the desire to receive more “adequate training leading to the prospect of advancement within the organization.” This is entirely consistent with one of the most exciting areas of positive psychology in which problems and deficits are not ignored but, and this is an important but, strengths, qualities, and attributes receive a far greater proportion of our attention. As has been suggested by Marcus Buckingham and others, there’s little doubt that the return on investment is far greater when individuals and organizations focus more on utilizing strengths, as opposed to just fixing weaknesses.
Factor #5 - Fun
And finally, there was general agreement that most workplaces would benefit from encouraging, fostering, and reinforcing a “more fun and light atmosphere,” one in which there was more “regular use of humor.” Every respondent, in one way or other, seemed to recognize the relationship between happiness at work and productivity: this wasn’t a group of people who just wanted to “muck around.” Those who responded seemed very ambitious and hard working, but they also seemed to inherently understand that when employees are having fun, they’re also more energized; when people are happy and enjoying themselves (at least some or most of the time) then they’re more productive and nicer to be around (an issue well summarized in Gostick and Christoper’s “The Levity Effect”).
In Summary
The results of the survey are, quite interestingly, remarkably consistent with the findings from the science of positive psychology and reassuringly, they’re also very consistent with what we, here at The Happiness Institute (www.thehappinessinstitute.com) teach people to do each and every day. Some people out there are already doing it, and that’s great; for others, there’s no reason you can’t aim towards doing more of these things and I can guarantee that if you do…you’ll reap the rewards.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Quote of the Day
"We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within."
- Earl Nightingale
- Earl Nightingale
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Take the ball and go home
Bullies can't be bullies when they are alone.
If you work with a bully, this is all you need to know. They need you.
A bully is someone who uses physical or psychological force to demean and demoralize someone else. A bully isn't challenging your ideas, or working with you to find a better outcome. A bully is playing a game, one that he or she enjoys and needs. You're welcome to play this game if it makes you happy, but for most people, it will make you miserable. So don't.
The way to work with a bully is not to try to please her or to question the quality of your work or to appease her or to hide from her.
The way to work with a bully is to take the ball and go home. First time, every time.
When there's no ball, there's no game. Bullies hate that. So they'll either behave so they can play with you or they'll go bully someone else.
Call her on her behavior (not who she is, but what she does). "I'm sorry, but when you talk to me like that, I'm unable to do good work. I'll be in my office if you need me." Then walk out, not in a huff, but with a measure of respect for the person (not the behavior).
This is a shocking piece of advice. It might even get you fired. But it will probably save your job and your sanity. Most bullies are deeply unhappy and you might just save their skin. If you're good at what you do, you deserve better than a bully.
From: Seth Godin's blog
If you work with a bully, this is all you need to know. They need you.
A bully is someone who uses physical or psychological force to demean and demoralize someone else. A bully isn't challenging your ideas, or working with you to find a better outcome. A bully is playing a game, one that he or she enjoys and needs. You're welcome to play this game if it makes you happy, but for most people, it will make you miserable. So don't.
The way to work with a bully is not to try to please her or to question the quality of your work or to appease her or to hide from her.
The way to work with a bully is to take the ball and go home. First time, every time.
When there's no ball, there's no game. Bullies hate that. So they'll either behave so they can play with you or they'll go bully someone else.
Call her on her behavior (not who she is, but what she does). "I'm sorry, but when you talk to me like that, I'm unable to do good work. I'll be in my office if you need me." Then walk out, not in a huff, but with a measure of respect for the person (not the behavior).
This is a shocking piece of advice. It might even get you fired. But it will probably save your job and your sanity. Most bullies are deeply unhappy and you might just save their skin. If you're good at what you do, you deserve better than a bully.
From: Seth Godin's blog
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