THE LOCK: I am not a powerful person. Those I face are always more powerful than I. How can I win against them?
THE KEY: All power, yours and theirs, is yours.
The secret source of power: When I argue, I face power, the power of the Other. It is the Other's power that I wish to overcome and that I fear. I am therefore fascinated by power and I wish to trace its source. If I understand power, if I understand its nature and where is abides, if I understand how to get it and how to resist it, I will have attained great power of my own. I want power. I need power to win.
Understanding how power works: Power is first an idea, first a perception. The power I face is always the power I perceive. Let me say it differently. Their power is my perception of their power. Their power is my thought. The source of their power is, therefore, in my mind.
The power others possess is the power I give them. Their power is my gift. I give them all the power in the universe, as, indeed, the faithful give to God, or I give them no power at all... if the Other possesses power, but I do not perceive the Other's power as effective against me, he has none - none for me.
An excerpt from How to Argue and Win Everytime, by Gary Spence