Showing posts with label workplace bullying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label workplace bullying. Show all posts

Friday, March 9, 2012

Bullying Training Videos

Blog readers,

I received the following email from Dr. Deborah Schneider from the US Dept of State. She was kind enough to share some videos with me that could be used as conversation starters during a training about workplace bullying. She says I can share them you - so here you are!

Hello, I ran across your website today and was so pleased to find it! Last year I was part of an interagency group of federal employees who took up the problem of bullying in the workplace, as part of developmental leadership training. One of our results was a set of video "conversation starters" about what bullying in the workplace might look like. They are an open source resource for anyone who would like to use them.
Dr. Deborah Schneider 
Special Advisor
INR/CYBER
U.S. Department of State

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Vermont Senate Makes Smart Move Toward Workplace Bullying Legislation

By Beverly Peterson, BullyInWorkplace.com

For years advocates have been trying to pass workplace bullying legislation in Vermont. Last year, SB.52 started as yet another attempt to re-introduce the Healthy Workplace Bill (aka Abusive Work Environment Act). But, this time something happened. Instead of dying in committee, the language was completely struck and totally rewritten to ensure that lawmakers look into all possible approaches before adopting legislation that will impact both employers and employees throughout the state. (After all, isn’t that what our elected officials are supposed to do?) The Senate wants a task force created to determine the best way to provide relief and redress for state residents suffering in abusive work environments. The new version of SB.52 became very active and passed the Senate. If it makes it out of the general committee and is passed through to the Governor’s desk, the task force’s findings could create a landmark moment for those of us who would like to see bullying legislation become a reality.

"The Vermont office of attorney general’s civil rights unit reports that of the 1,200 to 1,300 requests for assistance it receives each year, a substantial number involve allegations of severe workplace bullying that cannot be addressed by current state or federal law or common law tort claims. Similarly, the Vermont human rights commission, which has jurisdiction in employment discrimination claims against the state, reports that it must refuse complaints of workplace bullying because the inappropriate behaviors are not motivated by the targeted employee’s membership in a category protected by antidiscrimination laws.

(5) Sweden enacted the first workplace bullying law in 1993, and since then several countries have taken a variety of approaches to the problem, including the creation of private legal remedies and the prohibition of workplace bullying through occupational safety and health laws."

Read the rest of this article here: http://workplaceviolencenews.com/2012/01/09/vermont-senate-makes-smart-move-toward-workplace-bullying-legislation/

5 MYTHS ABOUT WORKPLACE BULLYING: DEBUNKED

Myth 1: Bullying only happens in the schoolyard

If anyone tries to tell you bullying at work doesn't exist, tell them 25 years of research says otherwise. Academics have been looking at this phenomenon since the first article published on the topic in 1984. Since then, thundreds of research articles have indicated that approximately 50% of the population is bullied at some point in their career. (Though research articles vary in their statistics... some say 30%, and one even says 90%...)

Recently the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) found that almost 25% of American businesses have some level of bullying - and they found that 11% of the bullying is committed against customers.

Myth 2: Bullying and conflict are the same thing

Conflict is about disagreement and interpersonal differences. It occurs when two people perceive that whomever they are in conflict with is in the way of getting needs met. Workplace bullying, on the other hand, is psychological abuse. You wouldn't tell a target of domestic violence to see a conflict manager, and you shouldn't tell a target of workplace bullying that either.

Myth 3: Bullies are evil psychopaths out for blood

The media loves to portray bullies this way because it makes for better news and it makes targets of bullying feel better about their situation. But most workplace bullies are unaware that their behavior makes others so uncomfortable. While there may be some bullies out there who are indeed malicious, the research does not support this notion that all bullies are purposefully evil.

Myth 4: Bullying is covered under current harassment laws

Harassment and hostile work environment laws in the U.S. only cover protected classes. That means that if the bully is an "equal opportunity bully," and does not bully because of the nine protected classes, including race, color, gender, religious beliefs, national origin, age, familial status, or disability, then the bullying is legal.

Myth 5: Bullying can be solved by implementing an anti-bullying corporate policy

We can create policies until we run out of ink, but unless they are in alignment with the organization's overall vision and leadership supports them 100%, it will be like they don't exist at all. Corporate policies are only as good as management and employee's support for them.

In order for a policy to be effective, it needs to be accompanied by training, performance management programs, and rewards systems. And, leaders have to set an example of appropriate behavior.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Connection Between Workplace Bullying, Health and Home Life

A new study measures how bullies affect families.

The study involved 280 full-time employees and their spouses. Participants were asked how often supervisors behaved badly. In particular, the survey rated responses to statements such as "Puts me down in front of others," and "Tells me I'm incompetent."

Participants also rated statements about their home lives. Examples of the statements measured included, "Our family can express feelings to each other," and "Our family is able to make decisions about how to solve problems." Spouses were asked how often they were "Irritated or resentful about things your (husband/wife/partner) did or didn't do," or "Felt tense from fighting arguing or disagreeing with your (husband/wife/partner)."

Results show that while employees with bad bosses did not report problems with their families, their spouses often did. Employees who had bad bosses experienced more blow-ups between husbands and wives and had families that failed to communicate well. Dawn Carlson, the study's lead author and a professor of management and the H.R. Gibson Chair of Organizational Development at the Hankamer School of Business at Baylor University, explains the fallout of abusive behavior at work. According to Carlson, "It spills over and affects our families . . . . It translates into tensions with your spouse. And that leads to poor family functioning." Linda Carroll, "Your boss may be ruining your marriage," www.lifeinc.today.msnbc.msn.com (Dec. 12, 2011).

Commentary and Checklist

The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) recognizes job stress as an area of growing concern in occupational safety and health. Job stress can trigger various stress-related disorders including depression, anxiety, dissatisfaction, fatigue, tension, aggression, lack of concentration and memory problems.

In addition, according to the new study described above, the stress of workplace bullying can take a toll on marriages and family life.

Employers wishing to curtail bullying must create an atmosphere where bullying is not accepted and provide a means for employees to report bullying without fear of retaliation for doing so. In the employment relationship, managers and supervisors are the persons in power and are the most likely to bully employees.

However, just because a manager is strict or demanding does not necessarily mean that he or she is a bully. High but reasonable expectations, when communicated respectfully and fairly, do not equate to bullying. Workplace bullying involves abuse or misuse of power. It creates feelings of defenselessness and injustice and undermines morale, productivity and health.

Here is what you can do as a manager to stop bullying:
  • Never abuse your power. If you bully your employees, you injure yourself, your employees and your employer.
  • Watch for bullying. Verbal mistreatment of employees in front of other employees or customers is a common form of bullying.
  • Look for the signs of bullying. A common sign of bullying is a higher turnover rate of employees reporting to one manager than for those reporting to other managers.
  • If your position at your employer permits you to do so, confront bullies under your management. Specifically address what actions you believe were an abuse of power and why.
  • If you are not in a position to address bullying on your own or you feel uncomfortable doing so, you should make your human resource department aware of bullying as soon as possible.
This informational piece was published on January 11, 2012.

http://www.farmerskey.com/article.htm?id=3849

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Study finds most paramedics are victims of abuse in the workplace

More than two-thirds of paramedics surveyed have experienced verbal, physical or sexual abuse on the job

TORONTO, Ont., Dec. 29, 2011 –More than two-thirds of paramedics surveyed have experienced verbal, physical or sexual abuse on the job, new research has found.

Verbal abuse by patients and their friends or relatives, Emergency Medical Service (EMS) co-workers or bystanders, was the most commonly reported, followed by intimidation and physical abuse, the study found.

"EMS providers can experience violence in the workplace as they perform their jobs in unpredictable environments and near people in crisis," said Blair Bigham, the lead investigator.

"Anecdotal reports and workplace safety records have highlighted cases of verbal, physical and sexual abuse, yet until now, there has been little scientific research. More research is needed to understand the impact of this workplace violence."

Bigham is an advanced care flight paramedic for York Region EMS and Ornge, and an associate scientist at Rescu, based at S. Michael's Hospital. Rescu is part of the Resuscitations Outcomes Consortium, a large, multinational research collaboration of 10 sites across the United States and Canada, studying how promising new tools and treatments can improve survival rates among people who suffer cardiac arrest or life-threatening traumatic injury outside of hospitals.

The study, published in the January issue of Prehospital Emergency Care, found:

  • Verbal abuse was reported by 67.4 per cent of EMS workers surveyed, perpetrated by patients (62.9 per cent), patient family or friends (36.4 per cent), colleagues (20.8 per cent), and bystanders (5.8 per cent).
  • Intimidation was reported by 41.5 per cent, perpetrated by patients (37.8 per cent), patient family or friends (27 per cent), colleagues (45.3 per cent), and bystanders (3.4 per cent).
  • Physical abuse was reported by 26.1 per cent, perpetrated by patients (92.3 per cent), patient family or friends (11.1 per cent), colleagues (3.8 per cent), and bystanders (2.3 per cent).
  • Sexual harassment was reported by 13.6 per cent, perpetrated by patients (64.7 per cent), patient family or friends (18.4 per cent), colleagues (41.2 per cent), and bystanders (8.8 per cent).
  • Sexual assault was reported by 2.7 per cent, perpetrated by patients (88.9 per cent), patient family or friends (7.4 per cent), colleagues (14.8 per cent), and bystanders (2.7per cent).

EMS workers in Ontario and Nova Scotia were invited to participate in this study while attending a continuing education seminar in 2011 and 90 per cent responded. They were asked if they had directly been the victims of various forms of violence within the previous 12 months. Of the 1,381 paramedics surveyed, 70 per cent were male with a median age of 34 and 10 years experience in EMS.

###
 
About St. Michael's Hospital

St. Michael's Hospital provides compassionate care to all who enter its doors. The hospital also provides outstanding medical education to future health care professionals in more than 23 academic disciplines. Critical care and trauma, heart disease, neurosurgery, diabetes, cancer care, and care of the homeless are among the Hospital's recognized areas of expertise. Through the Keenan Research Centre and the Li Ka Shing International Healthcare Education Center, which make up the Li Ka Shing Knowledge Institute, research and education at St. Michael's Hospital are recognized and make an impact around the world. Founded in 1892, the hospital is fully affiliated with the University of Toronto.

For more information, please contact:
Leslie Shepherd
Manager, Media Strategy
Phone: 416-864-6094
shepherdl@smh.ca
St. Michael's Hospital
Inspired Care. Inspiring Science.
www.stmichaelshospital.com
Follow us on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/stmikeshospital

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Physician, Heel Thyself

New York Times
By Teresa Brown, Op-Ed Contributor
Published May 7, 2011

It was morning rounds in the hospital and the entire medical team stood in the patient’s room. A test result was late, and the patient, a friendly, middle-aged man, jokingly asked his doctor whom he should yell at.

Turning and pointing at the patient’s nurse, the doctor replied, “If you want to scream at anyone, scream at her.”

This vignette is not a scene from the medical drama “House,” nor did it take place 30 years ago, when nurses were considered subservient to doctors. Rather, it happened just a few months ago, at my hospital, to me.

As we walked out of the patient’s room I asked the doctor if I could quote him in an article. “Sure,” he answered. “It’s a time-honored tradition — blame the nurse whenever anything goes wrong.”

I felt stunned and insulted. But my own feelings are one thing; more important is the problem such attitudes pose to patient health. They reinforce the stereotype of nurses as little more than candy stripers, creating a hostile and even dangerous environment in a setting where close cooperation can make the difference between life and death. And while many hospitals have anti-bullying policies on the books, too few see it as a serious issue.

Today nurses are highly trained professionals, and in the best situations we form a team with the hospital’s doctors. If doctors are generals, nurses are a combination of infantry and aides-de-camp.

After all, patients are admitted to hospitals because they need round-the-clock nursing care. We administer medications, prep patients for tests, interpret medical jargon for family members and double-check treatment decisions with the patient’s primary team. Nurses are also the hospital’s front line: we sound the alert if a patient takes a serious turn for the worse.

But while most doctors clearly respect their colleagues on the nursing staff, every nurse knows at least one, if not many, who don’t.

Indeed, every nurse has a story like mine, and most of us have several. A nurse I know, attempting to clarify an order, was told, “When you have ‘M.D.’ after your name, then you can talk to me.” A doctor dismissed another’s complaint by simply saying, “I’m important.”

When a doctor thoughtlessly dresses down a nurse in front of patients or their families, it’s not just a personal affront, it’s an incredible distraction, taking our minds away from our patients, focusing them instead on how powerless we are.

That said, the most damaging bullying is not flagrant and does not fit the stereotype of a surgeon having a tantrum in the operating room. It is passive, like not answering pages or phone calls, and tends toward the subtle: condescension rather than outright abuse, and aggressive or sarcastic remarks rather than straightforward insults.

And because doctors are at the top of the food chain, the bad behavior of even a few of them can set a corrosive tone for the whole organization. Nurses in turn bully other nurses, attending physicians bully doctors-in-training, and experienced nurses sometimes bully the newest doctors.

Such an uncomfortable workplace can have a chilling effect on communication among staff. A 2004 survey by the Institute for Safe Medication Practices found that workplace bullying posed a critical problem for patient safety: rather than bring their questions about medication orders to a difficult doctor, almost half the health care personnel surveyed said they would rather keep silent. Furthermore, 7 percent of the respondents said that in the past year they had been involved in a medication error in which intimidation was at least partly responsible.

The result, not surprisingly, is a rise in avoidable medical errors, the cause of perhaps 200,000 deaths a year.

Concerned about the role of bullying in medical errors, the Joint Commission, the primary accrediting body for American health care organizations, has warned of a distressing decline in trust among hospital employees and, with it, a decline in the quality of medical outcomes.

What can be done to counter hospital bullying? For one thing, hospitals should adopt standards of professional behavior and apply them uniformly, from the housekeepers to nurses to the president of the hospital. And nurses and other employees need to know they can report incidents confidentially.

Offending parties, whether doctors or nurses, would be required to undergo civility training, and particularly intransigent doctors might even have their hospital privileges — that is, their right to admit patients — revoked.
But to be truly effective, such change can’t be simply imposed bureaucratically. It has to start at the top. Because hospitals tend to be extremely hierarchical, even well-meaning doctors tend to respond much better to suggestions and criticisms from people they consider their equals or superiors. I’ve noticed that doctors otherwise prone to bullying will tend to become models of civility when other doctors are around.

In other words, alongside uniform, well-enforced rules, doctors themselves need to set a new tone in the hospital corridors, policing their colleagues and letting new doctors know what kind of behavior is expected of them.

This shouldn’t be hard: most doctors are kind, well-intentioned professionals, and I rarely have a problem talking openly with them. But unless we can change the overall tone of the workplace, doctors like the one who insulted me in front of my patient will continue to act with impunity.

I wish I could say otherwise, but after being publicly slapped down, I will think twice before speaking up around him again. Whether that was his intention, or whether he was just being thoughtlessly callous, it’s definitely not in my patients’ best interest.

Theresa Brown, an oncology nurse, is a contributor to The Times’s Well blog and the author of “Critical Care: A New Nurse Faces Death, Life and Everything in Between.”

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Ethics Resource Center Study: Whistleblowing and Workplace Bullying

Last month the Ethics Resource Center released a survey report regarding whistleblowing and retaliation (aka workplace bullying).

The survey found that 15% of employees who reported misconduct perceived that they were retaliated against. According to the report:
60% reported another employees gave them a cold shoulder
62% reported management excluded them from decisions and work activity
55% were verbally abused by a manager
48% almost lost their job
42% were verbally abused by other employees
43% were not given a promotion or raise
27% were relocated or reassigned
18% were demoted
In other words 15% of the survey respondents reported that they were bullied as a result of their actions.

The report also discusses the value organizational culture plays in an employee's decision to report. Not surprisingly, if ethics and the value of ethical behavior comes across as a strong message from the top, employees are more likely to report misconduct. In these strong ethical cultures employees felt comfortable reporting misconduct directly to their immediate supervisor because they felt confident the report would be handled immediately and with professionalism. In climates with weak ethical cultures employees felt they could not report the behavior to their immediate supervisor and often went "up the chain" to someone believed to be more reliable in handling the issue.

Retaliation against whistleblowers is certainly nothing new. If it were, Congress would not have enacted laws against it and businesses would not have corporate policies forbidding it. As with anything, circumstances can prevail and although retaliation is illegal in many instances, it doesn't prevent it from happening.

Unfortunately, as with bullying, psychological repercussions of being retaliated against are pervasive. According to an article published in Current Sociology in 2008 by Rothschild, whistleblowers say they have suffered severe depression, decline in physical health, severe financial decline, and harmed family relationships at home. Many also begin to lose trust in the people around them - distrust becomes a way of life.

The bottom line: Retaliation for whistleblowing IS bullying. As we know, bullying is difficult to prove, especially when managers and human resources professionals everywhere disagree that bullying even exists in the first place. Sigh.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Workplace bullying, stress, and fibromyalgia

From: Minding the Workplace, The New Workplace Institute Blog hosted by David Yamada

Over the past few weeks I’ve had conversations, in person and online, with three women who have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and each has experienced severe bullying and heavy-duty stress at work. If you’re unfamiliar with fibromyalgia, here’s a chance to learn something about it.

Fibromyalgia is a chronic, disabling medical condition marked by widespread pain and fatigue that afflicts women far more often than men. Compared to many other serious maladies, research on fibromyalgia is an early work in progress, but we’re learning a lot about it. According to the Mayo Clinic:

Fibromyalgia is a chronic condition characterized by widespread pain in your muscles, ligaments and tendons, as well as fatigue and multiple tender points — places on your body where slight pressure causes pain.
Fibromyalgia occurs in about 2 percent of the population in the United States. Women are much more likely to develop the disorder than are men, and the risk of fibromyalgia increases with age. Fibromyalgia symptoms often begin after a physical or emotional trauma, but in many cases there appears to be no triggering event.
In other words, we’re talking about severe, ongoing pain and the power of a knockout punch.

Gender implications

The gender implications of fibromyalgia are significant. Let’s juxtapose some numbers: If the Mayo Clinic is correct in stating that fibromyalgia will occur in 2 percent of the population, and if studies such as this one suggesting that 9 in 10 sufferers are female are even close to hitting the mark, then we have a hidden epidemic among women.

Bullying connection

The Workplace Bullying Institute recognizes that fibromyalgia can be a consequence of workplace bullying (link here). Research is making the link: For example, a 2008 study led by Canadian researcher Sandy Hershcovis (news coverage, here) found that workplace bullying targets were more likely to develop fibromyalgia. A 2004 study led by Finnish researcher Mika Kivimaki (abstract, here), found that stress at work “seems to be a contributing factor in the development of fibromyalgia.”

Read the rest of this article by David Yamada at his blog by clicking here.

Friday, December 31, 2010

Case Study: Inside the mind of HR Professionals

As a professional speaker who has made presentations to over hundreds of HR professionals, as well as professionals in many other areas, I assert that every single “workplace bullying workshop” attendee will fall into one of three categories:

1. The “Oh my gosh!!!! Thank you!!!” Category – These are people who have been treated with disrespect and aggression at work. They approach me at the end of my presentation, often in tears, infinitely thankful that I am advocating for them and that I have given them the information they need to move forward with their situation.

2. The “Hmmmm… I’m not so sure bullying exists” Category – These are people who may have witnessed a little disrespect at work but are unsure that bullying really happens among adults or that the resulting psychological implications I identified during the presentation are really that serious. These people may be open to persuasion with more information.

3. The “People who claim they're bullied are poor performers who are upset that they’re boss is calling them out” Category – These are the attendees who speak out during my presentations, often very aggressively in fact. They are convinced bullying doesn’t exist, and blame the target for poor performance and not having thicker skin. They also insist (incorrectly of course) that bullying is already illegal and laws against bullying would encourage unnecessary litigation.

Until now, I have been unable to really articulate these three responses for readers of my blog. But recently I participated in an online forum at Workforce Management website about the topic of workplace bullying, and because I gained so much insight into the mind of my third category HR professional when it comes to this touchy subject, I thought I’d share parts of the forum discussion with you.

If you are a target of aggressive behaviors at work thinking about talking with your HR manager, this post might help you gain some understanding about how your HR manager might respond to your complaint so that you can be prepared to counter it.

As I mentioned, people in my third category - people who don't think bullying exists - were abundant in the online forum, as evidenced by these comments:
There seems to be a growing trend that every time someone’s boss yells at them it’s a workplace conflict that also suggests the boss is a bully. That may occasionally be true but more often than not, in over 30 years of workplace experience, I have observed it is an under producing or non-producing employee (that includes performance issues).”
 "Honestly, I read a lot of posts on a different forum that is open to the public and has a lot of employees posting their situations about bosses bullying employees and 99% of them are such that I can see by their posts what the issue is -- low performance, too much time off, their attitude in the postings, etc. In my 20 year career, I can honestly tell you that I have seen 1 bully boss in any organization that I have worked with. Out of hundreds.... “

“There are those that think they are bullied because the employer expects them to be at work on time consistently. Because the employer doesn't take all the excuses for missed work and productivity. Or they take exasperation and criticism as bullying.”
And after being attacked by a few of the HR professionals in the forum for asserting that bullying is a real problem:

“Suggesting bullying is legal in the US demonstrates the focus (Catherine) has. It isn't to teach people how to manage conflict in the workplace, rather, it is to exploit conflict in the workplace for (her) own profit motive. In short, (she) channel’s (her) energy to exploit a created victim instead of teaching that individual how to improve their performance and also manage everyday natural conflict.”


“I am suspecting that the poster is feeling bullied because we are not validating her perspective. We are not jumping on the bandwagon of proving how much bullying really takes place in most workplaces.”
I sought information about what these HR professionals would do if faced with a complaint by an employee who claimed his boss was bullying him. The answers were disturbing:
“I would speak with the employee about changes that often occur when bosses change.”


“I suspect that due to the friendly relationship posed by the (original poster)… there might have been some stuff that the old boss let slide, rather than confront. Or maybe it just wasn't important to the old boss but is to the new. That's the nature of different bosses and learning the new style/way, even if you don't agree with it.”


“Honestly, I would tell this employee that they should view the position as if THEY started a new job-- but with experience. If they can't handle the new (management) style, then unless they want to try to go over their boss's head (which can often be a career limiting move because SOMEONE higher above CHOSE to put this person into the manager's position and you might never be sure who was for it), I would suggest they look elsewhere for employment.”


“If I thought it was a manager issue, I would do some extra management training, but if this were a person with education and experience, I would NOT automatically assume it was the boss's issue. But rather an issue of the employee not being able to handle the change. Change is never easy.”
Another participant then pointed out that:

“The difficult part of (this) approach… is why you are willing to make assumptions that favor the organization, but you aren't willing to make any such similar assumptions on behalf of the employee.”
To which the response from one poster was:
“I don't know many companies that choose to put inexperienced, uneducated, untrained people into management positions, but I know plenty of employees who feel like THEY should have been promoted OR that THEY know more than the new boss or that their way is the only way to do something.”
“I have seen more issues with the underlings not being able to handle the change than the manager.”
“So yes, it is my instinct to counsel the employee on how to deal with the change than to counsel the manager. Unless there is some direct evidence that it is the manager's issue.”
Clearly this HR professional would not buy it if a target of bullying were to report their manager’s behavior. The target would indeed be in the hot seat and blamed for the problem. The manager, the one exhibiting unprofessional behaviors, would be left to continue treating others with disrespect.

This group of posters, filled with my third category – people who think bullying simply doesn’t exist – was hard to persuade. Nothing I said could convince them that bullying is real. They even accused me of exploiting a fad and creating a sea of victims for my own monetary and professional benefit. But it doesn’t matter if they believe me or not; what matters if is they believe you when you report your abusive manager at work.

Ultimately, this conversation was indeed a major learning experience for me. In my years of experience I have never really gained a true understanding of why an HR professional would be so utterly resistant to the idea that bullying might actually exist in the workplace. I was enlightened by these comments:
“I was in HR when the diversity fad developed, and suddenly every fringe consultant was an expert in diversity and offering their services to help implement diversity programs. They were aggressive - if you didn't have a diversity program, then somehow your company was uncaring, insensitive, even Neanderthal in your approach to business. Diversity programs have yet to produce any measurable benefit, yet business spent huge amounts of money on it.“

“So it goes with HR fads - it seems like HR is plagued with them every 5 years or so. Some get a lot of publicity, like diversity, others don't. All fade into oblivion, some mercifully sooner rather than later.”

“HR has seen a bunch of fads. I would agree bullying is but one more.”
In addition, one poster pointed out that aggressive behaviors at work have potential liability for an employer – damages that should certainly be taken into consideration. As someone who has also made that argument, and attempted to quantify the damage a workplace bully might cause, the response was of great interest to me:
“OMG, HR professionals have been fighting this image for years. It is called the Chicken Little complex.

Legal fees are a cost of doing business for corporations. Frivolous lawsuits are a source of potential income for plaintiffs attorneys; "If they settle, even for nuisance value, I get something." The problem isn't managers. The problem is unscrupulous attorneys, consultants who embellish reality and a sub-culture that says if I sue I win regardless.


In 30+ years I have never lost a lawsuit. I've settled several for "nuisance value."
To sum all this up, HR professionals have seen an array of fads come and go. According to the participants in this forum, given the number of fads in their many years of experience, bullying just seems like one more. For this reason, it might be hard for them to take your complaint seriously.

These individuals were also not intimidated by the numbers. They weren’t buying that a lawsuit is a real threat when a report of bullying goes unaddressed. To them, a lawsuit is just the cost of doing business, and because one poster in particular had never lost a lawsuit against an employee, she was ready to go toe to toe. Lawsuits didn’t even make a dent in her perspective.

So what’s the lesson here? It is up to you, the target, the reporter of aggressive behaviors at work, to prove your case in a major way. As stated by one poster:
“Unfortunately HR and management usually do NOT have the ability to go "personal" with employees. To dig deep into the reasons and feelings and emotions. To smooth over hurt feelings. To babysit one who is feeling persecuted. At some point, it DOES need to get back to the business of running the company and working towards that goal and needs to be less about feelings and more about realistic expectations and being productive and putting personal feelings/perspectives aside."
The most important things you can do for yourself, before you file a complaint with your manager or HR manager, is to:

1. Document everything, and be sure to stick to the facts. Avoid documenting your emotions. Do not document how you felt, document the bad behavior. Focus on the bully, not on you. You are your performance already going to be under the spotlight, so don’t make your grievance about you – make it about the bully’s unprofessional behavior. HR is not in the business of making you feel good, they are in the business of helping the organization run. I hate to say it, but your feelings are irrelevant to them. The bullying manager’s unprofessional behavior is relevant to them if you can prove it’s hurting performance.

2. If possible, gather evidence from co-workers and other managers about your performance. Based on my conversation with the HR professionals in the forum, your performance is going to be called into question. If you can find a way to prove you are a top-performer, whether by emails or memos from others you work with or a stack of performance evaluations from previous managers, I think you will find that evidence useful during your conversation.

3. Attempt to resolve the issue yourself first. In any situation, when you have a problem, issue, or question it is important that you approach your manager with your problem, issue, or question with some idea of a solution. No manager wants to hear, “I have a problem, can you tell me what to do?” There isn’t a manager on the planet that wouldn’t prefer, “I have a problem. I have tried A and B and they haven’t worked. I was thinking about doing C and D but was hoping for your input.” This shows that you are solution oriented and able to think things all the way through on your own – and those are qualities of a top notch, high performing employee.

4. Be prepared for the conversation. Know what you want to accomplish as a result of your complaint. What is it that you want the HR manager to do for you? What exactly are you going to say? What solutions can you offer? Never go into your HR manager’s office to complain – go in there to complain and provide options.

If you’re interested, you can read the entire conversation on Workforce Week.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Nevada State Education Association Pamphlet on Bullying

Effective July 1, 2010, the education system in Nevada is putting up a fight against bullying and cyber-bullying by any administrator, teacher or staff member. The terms bullying and cyber-bullying were only recently added to Nevada Statute NRS 388.135, which previously only referenced harassment and intimidation.

According to the resulting pamphlet put out by the Nevada State Education Association:

"We are all familiar with accounts of bullying involving students. There are tragic stories of students being bullied to the point of taking their own lives. But bullying can and does happen among adults, and it can have a devastating effect on employee morale, work productivity, and even the health and well being of employees."

Below is an additional excerpt from the pamphlet, and you can download the whole thing by clicking here.

What is workplace bullying?

There is no single definition of bullying. NRS 388.122 defines “bullying” to mean:

A willful act or course of conduct on the part of one or more pupils which is not authorized by law and which exposes a pupil repeatedly and over time to one or more negative actions which is highly offensive to a reasonable person and is intended to cause and actually causes the pupil to suffer harm or serious emotional distress.

“Cyber-Bullying” is defined as “bullying through the use of electronic communication.” NRS 388.123.

Researchers studying the phenomenon of workplace bullying cite certain common characteristics.

Catherine Mattice and Karen Garman define it as “systematic aggressive communication, manipulation of work, and acts aimed at humiliating or degrading one or more individuals that create an unhealthy and unprofessional power imbalance between bully and target...” Gary and Ruth Namie define workplace bullying as “repeated, health-harming mistreatment, verbal abuse, or conduct which is threatening, humiliating, intimidating, or sabotage that interferes with work or some combination of the three.”

Five Tips for Ringing In a Civil 2011

This year my newsletters have addressed corporate policies, training programs, culture changes, and many other conventional ways you can address bullying behavior at work. As you know, however, if the decision makers in your organization are not on board with building a positive workplace, then policies and training programs will be difficult to implement.


So here are five things you can do to help keep things civil around the office without asking your boss for an entire corporate culture makeover.

1. Be the change you want to see. I know; it's cliché. But fact is we don't pay much attention to our own communication most of the time, and of course it's easy to point fingers and argue that others aren't being very nice. Awareness is half of the battle - once you start being more cognizant of your behavior and communication it becomes easier to change it. We call this self-monitoring. If you are a high self-monitor, then you probably pay close attention to your communication and adjust it as needed for the situation. If you are a low self-monitor then you probably don’t pay much attention to your communication, and you likely are treating others disrespectfully without even realizing it. Make it a goal to become a high self-monitor.

2. Stand up for others. One of the reasons I became so interested in bullying and incivility at work was the fact that they are a social phenomenon - it's never about just the bully. Bullying and other uncivilized behaviors happen at work because other people allow them to (yes that means you). If you witness someone getting berated consistently during staff meetings, for example, the chances of you or anyone else standing up for them is slim to none. Researchers call this the bystander effect, and the reason it exists is that others are afraid of being targeted next.

Forget all that. When you see a person being mistreated at work, stand up for them. Plain and simple. Something like, "Hey John the meeting will be more productive if we all try to stay calm here. I know this is a stressful project but we need to work together" should suffice. The more often you do that, the more often others will too. You and all of your peers are stronger, collectively, than one bullying person. You have much more power to end the bullying as a group, and if you band together, you will be successful in doing so.

3. Dish out two compliments a day. In today’s economy and the resulting stress it’s easy to get frustrated with others when you feel like they aren’t performing or when they make mistakes. But, that’s not helping build a more civil work environment. Of course it is important to correct mistakes or make process improvements – but it’s also important to tell people when they do things right – even the little things. And you don’t have to be anyone’s boss to pass out praise.

If you happen to be walking through the reception area and overhear the receptionist handling a call with a positive attitude, then compliment him or her on it. If you see a co-worker wiping down the counters in the break room, then say thank you. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but it could make a huge difference in that person’s day, and they just might turn around and compliment someone else… even a customer!

4. Rally for your community. Volunteering provides a multitude of psychological and physical benefits. It brings a heightened sense of well-being, relief from insomnia, a stronger immune system… and it helps build confidence and self-esteem as a result of the appreciation we feel from those people we help. Take Cami Walker for example. At 35 she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and only after focusing on giving to the people around her did the pain she was feeling start to ease. Since then she’s written a book and started a movement of giving. Her website is http://www.29gifts.org/.

In addition to the personal benefits you will feel for giving your time to help others, certainly when your department volunteers to help the community together, the benefits of team building are eminent. So check out Charity Navigator and Volunteers of America to find a volunteering opportunity right for you and your team. Invite everyone to participate (even the uncivil ones). You’ll definitely notice a positive change in the way you interact with each other at work as a result of everyone feeling better about themselves and about each other.

5. Play the Best-Self Game. Kim Cameron, author of Positive Leadership: Strategies for Extraordinary Performance, suggests this activity to get the positive communication flowing and the self-esteem growing. During your next meeting, ask everyone to write down two nice things about their co-workers on separate sheets of scratch paper. At the end of the meeting, each person walks away with a list of traits others appreciate in them, an understanding of their own strengths, and a set of thank you’s for those times they stepped up and went the extra mile.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Bullying by the boss is common but hard to fix, by Laura Petrecca, USA Today

The Hooters restaurant chain likes to play up its "delightfully tacky, yet unrefined" slogan. But what more than 15 million TV viewers saw on Feb. 14 went beyond unrefined.

A Hooters franchise manager insisted that servers clasp their hands behind their backs and gobble up a serving of cooked beans face-first. Whoever cleaned her plate the quickest would get to leave early.

That scene was shown on the CBS reality show Undercover Boss. Later in the episode, Coby Brooks — the Hooters CEO who went undercover to evaluate workers — reprimands the manager for being inappropriate.

"There are lines that you don't cross," Brooks said.

Yet, many bosses don't follow that stance. In offices nationwide, managers belittle, isolate, intimidate and sabotage employees.

One in three adults has experienced workplace bullying, according to surveys conducted earlier this year by research firm Zogby International for the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI). Nearly three-fourths of bullying is from the top down, according to a 2007 study.

Some tyrannical managers scream and send out scathing e-mails. But often, an oppressor uses a more subtle — and easily covered — collection of behaviors. These actions could include purposely leaving a worker out of communications so they can't do their job well, mocking someone during meetings and spreading malicious gossip about their target, says Catherine Mattice, a workplace consultant who specializes in this issue.

The acts may seem trivial, but as they build up over time, the ramifications can be monumental.

Bullied workers often feel anxious and depressed, can't sleep and are at increased risk for ailments such as hypertension. Some employees feel so overwhelmed, they just can't see a way out. "Sometimes, unfortunately, suicide is the result," Mattice says.

Tough to diagnose

On an academic level, workplace bullying has become a popular research topic, says Stanford Engineering School management professor and Good Boss, Bad Boss author Robert Sutton. But on a broader scale, there is still much to be learned about this topic.

"Workplace bullying is kind of this new concept; it's like sexual harassment before Anita Hill," Mattice says. "One of the biggest problems is that it is under the radar."

A big issue is that bullying is difficult to define. Is a demanding boss a bully or a perfectionist? Is a manager who says inappropriate things malicious or just tactless? "That's one of the difficult things to grapple with," says Joseph O'Keefe, a senior counsel at law firm Proskauer. "When does it rise above just being a mean boss and reach the level of bullying?"

As a general guideline, bullying occurs when a manager has an ongoing pattern of intimidating or demeaning behavior that can affect an employee's health.

"We've all had bosses who are rough around the edges, and sometimes you just have to deal with it," says Tom Davenport, a senior consultant at human resources consultancy Towers Watson. "But it's one thing to have an assertive boss, and it's another to have one that makes you feel sick — psychologically, physically and emotionally sick."

Since bullying is such an amorphous act, department managers and human resource executives often have to examine claims of it on an individual basis. Officials at the University of Virginia had to undertake this task earlier this year.

On July 30, Kevin Morrissey, managing editor at the University of Virginia literary magazine Virginia Quarterly Review, shot himself. Morrissey's sister, Maria Morrissey, says that after his death, she learned that her brother was treated harshly by VQR editor Ted Genoways.

Genoways' attorney, Lloyd Snook, says the editor was not a bully to Morrissey or anyone else in the office.

Following Morrissey's death, the university commissioned an audit of the magazine's finances and management practices. The Oct. 20 report says that while Genoways' ability to supervise his staff in accordance with university policies "is questionable," complaints against him didn't raise any red flags.

"There were reports through the years of the editor not being courteous or respectful with some contributors and colleagues, as well as problems with certain employees, but none ever seemed to rise to the level of a serious, ongoing concern," the report said.

In a formal response to the audit, Snook said that Genoways "has never been told of any specific complaint that any of his staff has had. There was never any personnel action taken against Ted."

Even with the release of the internal report, there are still many questions swirling — and not many publically known answers — about the situation at VQR.

Failing to take action

Yet, even when there are obvious concerns about a boss poisoning an office environment, often little is done. Reasons this is tough to diagnose and cure:

•Victims keep quiet. Many workers are embarrassed at being bullied, so they don't report the persecution to human resources. In addition, many targets are afraid that if they complain, there will be retribution.

•Intervention can take time. Morrissey and other staffers complained to UVA officials about workplace strife. Mediation was to take place, says UVA spokeswoman Carol Woods, but Kevin's sister, Maria, says the school didn't have a thorough or timely response. The UVA audit says its personnel satisfied "institutional policies and procedures." While there were notices of problems at VQR, the report says there were "no specific allegations of bullying or harassment prior to July 30th."

•Discipline can be subjective. Even though Undercover Boss is an entertainment-focused reality show, blogs were filled with intense criticism for Hooters CEO Brooks after he didn't fire the manager who made the waitresses eat without their hands.

That manager resigned earlier this year "to pursue other interests," says Hooters spokeswoman Alexis Aleshire. She said the company couldn't comment further on that specific situation, but e-mailed this statement: "Hooters has a longstanding and highly effective policy protecting employees from all harassment. Hooters of America and (the) Texas Wings (franchise) are confident the incident portrayed on Undercover Boss is in no way representative of conduct within the Hooters system."

•Legal recourse isn't clear-cut. Existing federal laws focus on the harassment/discrimination of those in a protected class, such as race, religion, national origin, age or disability. Since 2003, 18 states have proposed a "healthy workplace bill" that holds an employer accountable for an abusive environment, but none has become law.

•Witnesses are scared to come forward. About one in seven workers said they've seen workplace bullying but haven't been a target themselves, the WBI says. But many observers keep quiet. "A lot of time, bystanders see bullying, but they won't stand up," Mattice says. "They don't want to attract attention."

•Savvy bosses work the system. Manipulative managers often know how to play the game so they're not caught. "They kiss up and kick down," Sutton says.

Who gets picked on by whom

Workplace bullying can take many forms. While it's often a boss targeting employees, workers have picked on peers — and even their supervisors.

Slightly more than 60% of bullies are men, and 58% of targets are women, according to WBI. When a woman is the aggressor, she often picks on her own gender: Women target other women in 80% of cases. Men are more apt to target men.

Bullying can take place in any work environment, but Mattice says it tends to be more prevalent in hierarchical industries such as manufacturing, health care and education.
Crummy bosses are frequently more tolerated in organizations that focus on reaching sales goals, Davenport says.

"In a results-driven environment, managers may say 'Tom really is a jerk, but he certainly produces the numbers,' " he says.

Further complicating things: Most bullies don't realize — or at least, admit — that they're the bad guy. Fewer than 1% of people say they bully others at work, according to the WBI.

"We, as human beings, have self-awareness issues," Sutton says.

While maniacal managers may not realize how their behavior affects other employees, one place where they could see the difference is in the bottom line. Bullied employees will often take more sick days, steal supplies and use work hours to look for other jobs.

"They'll take longer breaks, and they'll be less likely to help others," Sutton says.

Beaten-down employees also don't perform as well on duties that take mental wherewithal. Research subjects have been less creative in simple puzzle-solving tasks after someone has been nasty to them, Sutton says.

But even as studies show that abusive managers can harm profits, bullying continues to rise at some firms.
One issue: Productivity-producing carrots, such as raises and bonuses, have been taken away as companies cut costs. Many mangers have turned to using sticks.

"With the economy the way it is, (supervisors) are more stressed out, and they are more likely to become more aggressive at work," Mattice says.

Those on the receiving end have their own issues due to the economic maelstrom.

"Anyone who is being bullied feels trapped, because where are they going to go?" she says. "They feel stuck there until the economy gets better."

Read the article on USA Today here: http://www.usatoday.com/money/workplace/2010-12-28-bullyboss28_CV_N.htm

Survival strategies for workers with bosses who are bullies, by Laura Petrecca, USA Today

Bosses often get a bad rap — mainly because they are just that: the boss.

These are the folks who scrutinize vacation day requests, ask for client reports to be revised and tell employees the company decided against 2010 raises. So naturally they will be closely scrutinized — and criticized — by workers, simply because they have such a large impact on their life.

"Bosses pack a wallop, especially on their direct reports," says Robert Sutton, author of Good Boss, Bad Boss.

However, there are many supportive, compassionate managers out there, Sutton says. "Most of us think our bosses are OK."

But for the folks toiling under a lousy manager, the daily stress can be severe. Some ways to deal with a bad boss:

•Have a heart-to-heart. "Perhaps your boss is one of those people who aren't aware of how they come across," Sutton says. It could be worth it to have a "gentle confrontation" with the manager in hopes of evoking a behavior change.

•Get help. "It's like a bully on the playground," says Tom Davenport, co-author of Manager Redefined. "At some point you have to go tell the teacher."

Employees should keep a detailed diary of a boss' bad behaviors and then bring up those specific instances when lodging a complaint.

"Don't talk about the way you feel. Don't say 'I'm hurt,' " says workplace consultant Catherine Mattice. Instead give very specific examples of how the boss crossed the line.

•Zone out. With some effort — be it meditation, therapy or another method — some folks are able to leave their work troubles at the office. "Learn the fine art of emotional detachment," Sutton says. "Try not to let it touch your soul."

•Update the résumé. "Start planning your escape," Sutton says. Sure, the economy may not be the best for job seekers, but those who put feelers out now will have a head start when the hiring freeze thaws.

Read the article on USA Today here: http://www.usatoday.com/money/workplace/2010-12-28-bullyboss28_ST_N.htm

Monday, December 13, 2010

MSNBC.com Is your boss a bully, or just a tough cookie?

Careers on MSNBC.com
By By Eve Tahmincioglu, MSNBC.com contibutor

Victoria Ring had a bully boss when she was working as a paralegal at a bankruptcy law firm in Ohio early in her career.

“I would be interviewing one of our clients who was in debt and he would stand outside to door listening to us,” she recalled. “As soon as I opened the door he would shout, “Why did you go and screw everything up?’ right in front of the client. I would feel like the lowest level person in the world.”
Despite the abuse, the tyrannical manager turned out to be one of the best bosses she’s ever had.

“He was extremely brilliant and knew every loophole in the law,” she explained. And he helped foster her passion for bankruptcy law, taught her to hone her craft and even helped her get a job in an Ohio bankruptcy court because people in the legal community knew if she could work for that boss she could work for anyone.

Ring, who launched her own business (Colorado Bankruptcy Training) this year in Colorado Springs, only lasted about nine months with the bully boss, leaving after he had a fist fight in the office with his brother who was also a partner at the law firm. But looking back, she said, the manager was pivotal in her career trajectory.

With all the negative press bullies are getting lately, it’s hard to believe that anyone can actually benefit from having to deal with one as their boss. But sometimes it’s the hardest-to-deal-with managers who turn out to teach you the most, and they may actually help you climb the ladder of success.
The question is, how do you know if your tough boss actually has some redeeming qualities and isn’t just a bully?

“The line between tough boss and bully boss is not clear for most people — bosses and employees alike,” said Judith Glaser author of “The DNA Of Leadership.” Making the distinction, she added, is even harder when times are tough and the pressure is on to perform.

“When people are interviewed about the boss who impacted them most,” she continued, “it was generally someone who was both candid and caring, someone who pushed them to succeed or achieve. So understanding where the line is between bully and effective leadership is vital.”

While most of us want to be treated fairly and with respect at all times, many of us see the benefits of having tough guy or gal as a boss.

In a study by Adecco Staffing U.S., employees were asked whom they deemed the best boss among a host of famous people. While touchy feely Oprah and soft-spoken President Obama topped the list, No. 3 was Donald Trump of “you’re fired” Apprentice fame. But Martha Stewart, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sarah Palin — all three tough cookies — weren’t far behind.

“Power and success are very attractive qualities,” said Tracy Whitaker, director of the Center for Workforce Studies & Social Work Practice, National Association of Social Workers, who has researched workplace bullying. “People see Donald Trump and they see success, but people have to understand that tough and demanding is different than unreasonable and arbitrary.”

Employees want to be mentored by the best and challenged and pushed to excel, she continued, but you don’t want to be confused, disrespected and humiliated at work.

While she acknowledges that some workers can take some abuse and find the good in a dysfunctional worker-manager relationship, others may see their self esteem and confidence suffer as a result. Feeling those things, she added, isn’t worth it for yourself or your career in the end, even if the boss was an expert at her or his profession.

But you may benefit from getting a bit of a tougher skin.

Catherine Mattice, president of Civility Partners, a consulting firm that specializes in eliminating workplace bullying, said employees can learn from a bully boss, but not if they allow themselves to feel persecuted.

“Unfortunately many people will take on a victim mentality and find themselves feeling that they have no options,” she said. “They will not learn from the experience. Those that choose to take the situation on as a challenge will find they are capable of overcoming, and will learn to become more assertive, more positive, and more able to take on the world.”

The key is figuring out whether your boss is just tough, or just a useless big meanie.

Read the rest of the article here.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

How to deal with workplace bullies

EG Sebastian, author of Communication Skills Magic, interviews me on the topic of workplace bullying. We discuss why people bully, and how to deal with bullying effectively.



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How do you know if you are a workplace bully?

EG Sebastian, author of Communication Skills Magic, interviews me on the topic of workplace bullying. We discuss how you know if you are a workplace bully, what you can do about it, and how to address bullying in your workplace.


Listen to internet radio with BusinessXSuccess on Blog Talk Radio

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

What we can learn from the suicide at Virginia University: Eight tools you need to fight your workplace bully

The tragic suicide at Virginia University’s esteemed literary journal, Virginia Quarterly Review, has sparked attention in the topic of workplace bullying. Though researchers from around the world have focused on the concept of bullying for the last 25 years, only now is the subject receiving the attention it deserves from the media.

Kevin Morrissey, the man who shot himself just two hours after receiving yet another scathing email from his boss, was not alone in feeling distraught because of his work situation. Though he was diagnosed with depression, detrimental psychological effects are common in all targets of bullying. In fact, up to 77% of individuals who are bullied develop PTSD (Matthiesen & Einarsen, 2004) – the same psychological damage that plagues soldiers returning from war.

Researchers have also found that almost 7% of targets do attempt suicide, and an additional 10% of them contemplate suicide frequently (Brousse, Fontana, Ouchchane, Boisson, et al., 2008; Yildirim & Yildirim, 2007). With 70% of the workforce claiming to be bullied at some point in their life, that’s 21 million people in the United States alone who contemplate suicide each year because of things happening at work.

Not convinced? Check out documentarian Beverly Peterson’s website at http://nojobisworththis.com. She has a whole host of short documentaries about people who have suffered from bullying, and who have in fact committed suicide because they were bullied at work.

I offer these eight tips to battle the bully at work:

1. Label it. Many targets wander through their situation without really understanding what’s happening to them or why they are being treated so badly. Most of us believe that bullying only happens at school age, so when it happens in adulthood it doesn’t seem real. Calling a spade a spade, or labeling the situation, is invaluable in understanding the true reality of the situation.

2. Make the choice to not be a victim. Research indicates that survivors of bullying have a trait that “non-survivors” have: they made the choice to not be victimized, they decided they would overcome, and they took control. You can change your attitude but you can’t change the bully.

3. Be assertive with your body language and your words. When we are bullied or threatened, we tend to shrink down with our bodies by folding our arms in and looking away. This type of response gives the bully the green light to keep bullying. So you must be assertive to protect yourself. That means making steady eye contact, keeping feet firmly planted on the ground, toes pointing forward, hands on hips or down at your sides, leaning forward slightly, and maintaining a steady tome of voice when you speak.

To be assertive with your words means using the following pattern when being verbally attacked by the bully: validate what the bully says and demonstrate that you understand his or her point of view, state that you are dissatisfied with the communication style, and then offer a solution to the problem. Now you can go to HR and claim that you did attempt to solve your differences – something they will respond well to.

4. Enlist support from people who are not co-workers. You will need a support system to get through this; you cannot do this on your own. Remember, many of us assume bullying only happens when we’re children, so it might be helpful to locate some websites and literature on bullying to help your supporters understand that what you are going through is real, and it is really hurtful to you. And, avoid trying to get people on your side at work.

5. Keep a factual journal. It is important that you keep a factual journal that you log each time a bullying incident takes place. Document the date and time, where you were, what was said, what the scenario was, and who saw it happen. Also save any tangible documents you receive from the bully, including any memos, emails, evaluations, and the like. It is important that your journal remain about the facts, and not be focused on your emotions, because you will present this journal to HR (see Tip #7). Of course it can also be healthy to keep a journal about your emotions, but this isn't appropriate to provide to HR.

6. See a doctor. A doctor can help you make your case when speaking to human resources. Describe to your doctor what has been happening and how you feel. Bring in some of the literature on workplace bullying if you need to. The doctor will provide you with a note that proves you are stressed out because of your situation at work. This will come in handy later.

7. Talk to human resources. Understand that bullying at work is a relatively new concept and has only very recently become something that is on the HR radar. That means that they will not necessarily understand if you say, “I am being bullied.” They don’t know what that really even means, and they don’t have a law or a policy to tell them how to handle it (yes, bullying is legal). That means you need to approach HR in a very specific way, and while difficult, these steps will be beneficial:

- Avoid showing your emotions, and stay away from “I feel” statements. You want HR to see the bully as the problem, not you. If you focus on how you feel, then it becomes about you. If you focus on the bully’s behaviors, then it becomes about the bully’s misbehavior and unprofessional conduct.

- Stick to the facts. Present your factual journal and list of witnesses along with any other tangible documents you’ve obtained.

- Provide a solution. All managers appreciate it when their employees approach them with a problem that is backed by a solution. As hard as it will be, put your emotions aside and really think through what you need to make the situation better for you – and present those solutions to HR. Solutions might include a transfer to a new department, communication skills coaching for your team, or a request for an outside consultant to help.

8. Reframe the way you see your job. Society has taught us that we are chained to our jobs and leaving is not an option. In addition, a lot of our identity is tied up in our work because we spend so much time there – it really becomes who we are as a person. But at some point, if you have exhausted all of your options and things are not getting better, then ask yourself what your dignity is worth. Certainly your 9-5 is not worth your health, or your life. Don’t be afraid to find a new job before the situation gets any worse.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

HR Managers: How do you know when a person is being bullied at work?

This question is one that comes up frequently in LinkedIn discussions, blog postings, magazine articles, news casts, and during my presentations to HR professionals. "If an employee talks to me about being bullied, how do I know that what he or she is describing is indeed bullying?"


The answer: If the employee indicates he is being abused or bullied, then he is being abused or bullied.

"But how do I really know that this person is being bullied?" Answer: LISTEN TO THEM, AND LISTEN GOOD.

Attempting to identify bullying specifically is daunting because it is less cut and dry than something like sexual harassment. Ask me on a date in exchange for a promotion, we know that's sexual harassment. Slyly leave me out of emails I need to do my job well, roll your eyes when I talk, and write in my employee evaluation that my performance has dropped, well... is that bullying? Those behaviors don't sound so bad, right?

Identifying bullying is easy when you listen to your employees' narratives - because bullying is about perception. In fact, you might have two employees being treated exactly the same, and while one is a little annoyed, the other feels bullied, depressed, anxious, and miserable. I guarantee that this person tells other people in the organization about the way they feel - and those people will often agree that they've witnessed this abuse, and begin to spend time consoling the target. Now they have stories to tell about bullying too. Now bullying is becoming part of your organizational culture. Now bullying is becoming a way of life at your organization. This is not good.

One could argue that perception, and the narratives that drive it, aren't good enough to prove bullying is really happening. My response to that hoo-ha: Get out of your comfort zone and act on the complaint anyway. The problem is that we are in a very uncertainty-rejecting culture; we have very specific laws, policies, instructions, procedures and documents in our organizations, and we rely on them to tell us what to do. So we are uncomfortable when presented with a situation that doesn't have a roadmap already outlined. Just because there isn't a law or a policy in place to tell you what to do, doesn't mean that person is not bullied, and it doesn't mean you should not act on the complaint.

As an HR professional, it is your responsibility to ensure that employees are able to collaborate, work positively with one another, and feel comfortable talking to each other freely. If an employee tells you that she is bothered by the way she is treated by another person, then there is a problem and it needs to be addressed. Whether you agree that this person is a target of bullying or not is, quite frankly, irrelevant.

Ultimately, the truth of a story lies not in the intricate details that you jot down in your notes as you listen to your employee's grievance, but in the story's underlying meaning. Ask yourself what the story means for performance, and what it means for the organization's culture.

The value of the story lies in your reaction to it. Don't you want to have a workplace where innovation, effective decision-making, and high performance prevails?

If you do need a clear cut answer to the questions: "Is this person being bullied, really? Or are they just being over sensitive?" then call us. Civility Partners has the tools and the knowledge to help you determine the answer, and to help you intervene effectively.

We can help you develop a positive workplace where bullying would not be allowed to thrive. Contact us for a complimentary consultation.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

A Few Notes on Violent Behavior

This weekend I was working on a training for dealing with bullying students, and was asked that part of the training include information about how to monitor the bully's communication in order to predict if it will turn violent.

I was shocked to find there isn't much "out there" on the internet about the topic of nonverbal communication as a predictor of violence, so thought I'd attempt to rectify that with my own blog post about it.

Violent behavior occurs with the intersection of four factors:

Personality: The individual’s interpersonal functioning, or the way the student views the world, will determine if violence is the outcome of a stressful situation. Violent-prone individuals subscribe to control and blame instead of understanding and taking responsibility. Right and wrong is determined by what they can get away with instead of what makes them feel guilty. Cultural background and past experiences have led to an acceptability of violence.

Stress: Because violent-prone idividuals do not understand their misfortunes or frustrations, and instead passionately blame others, they are struck by an overwhelming sense of desparation and increasing sense of powerlessness. Violence is a way to get back power.

Setting: Effective violence prevention depends on the ability of the setting to recognize warning signs and mediate the effect of stress on individuals. In other words, violence cannot occur unless it is allowed to occur. This training is a step towards adjusting the setting.

Lacking communication skills: Violence is often a result of an inability to express oneself successfully. When a person feels like they cannot get their point across, or they are not being understood, they become frustrated and lash out in order to gain control of the situation.



Predicting Violent Behavior with Nonverbal Cues

60-90% of our communication is nonverbal, and most of the time we pay attention to it subconsciously. While it is impossible to predict with absolute certainty when someone will become violent, you can learn a lot from a person’s body language if you consciously pay close attention.

Nonverbal cues that indicate someone may become violent in the next few minutes include:
• Never ceasing eye contact; staring, never looking away or at another part of your body

• Clenched teeth, narrowing of eyes, and tense lips

• Arms crossed on the chest, closed fists, or arms held back slightly as if they are winding up for a swing. Also, hands held tightly against the chest could indicate defensiveness or holding a weapon.

• A shifting of weight to the back leg like a fighter ready to take a swing

• Inability to sit down, appearing anxious

• Rapid breathing and a loud, raised voice

Violence may also occur when the individual is told “no”, is given orders instead of options, or feels like he or she is not being understood. Knowing this, it is important to construct your own messages as collaborative, positive and opportunistic, rather than negative and limiting.

Preventing Violence at Work

In order to ensure an employee never turns violent, the organization must take steps to keep aggression to a minimum. Everyone should be trained and active in recognizing warning signs, and procedures must be in place to address those signs when discovered. One way to do this is to form a crisis prevention team of organizational leaders who will work with an employee who seems violent-prone. The team may be responsible for mediation, communication skills coaching, or working with the employee to relieve stress somehow. The team could also construct an action plan for building a positive culture, facilitate the construction of effective problem solving at work, introduce training programs to the workplace, and the like.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Earn CEU's at our upcoming workshop "Build & sustain a Healthy Workplace: Understand and Eradicate Bullying at Work"

Build & Sustain a Healthy Workplace: Understand and Eradicate Bullying at Work

Research indicates 70% of the workforce is bullied at some point in their life, and that at any given time, 25% of the workforce is being bullied. Annually, one bully could cost an organization a minimum of $100,000 per year.

The Division of Extended Learning is excited to partner with subject-matter expert Catherine Mattice from Civility Partners, LLC to offer a ground-breaking half-day seminar where participants will gain innovative business management training in the hot new topic of workplace bullying. The seminar will clarify workplace bullying, provide an update on the laws in motion to end it, provide tools for eradicating it from the workplace, and everything you need to sustain a healthy workplace culture.

August 18, 2010
8:30 am - 11:30 am
National University, La Mesa Campus
San Diego, CA

Price: $199

Register by calling: 1-800-NAT-UNIV ext. 8600

Watch our 3 1/2 minute video about workplace bullying here.
 
Who should attend:
Human resources, workplace learning and performance professionals, business owners, conflict resolution specialists, professional mediators, employee assistance professionals, managers, team leaders, supervisors, coaches, business management consultants, health and wellness specialists, and targets of bullying.

This course has been approved for CEU's from:
•IACET Continuing Education Units
•International Society for Performance Improvement's CPT recertification points
•HR Certification Institute's recertification credit
•Employee Assistance Certification Commission's PDHs
 
After successful completion participants will gain:
•Comprehensive knowledge in the system of bullying and why it happens at work
•Knowledge in determining the cost of bullying in your organization
•Interpersonal communication and conflict management skills for battling the bully
•Management tools for immediate corrective action and handling grievances
•Techniques for sustainable healthy change and positive employee performance

Takeaways: Template corporate policy, culture assessment and cost of bullying worksheets, and case studies.

Register by calling: 1-800-NAT-UNIV ext. 8600